DYH | Chapter 9

An Tianming had always thought that Bai Wei would forever be a spoiled young master who never grew up.

To be honest, at first, An Tianming really couldn’t stand the young master of the Bai family. Maybe it was because he was the son of his enemy, but An Tianming always noticed Bai Wei’s flaws before anything else. It wasn’t until many years later that he finally realized the crux of it all—why was it so easy for him to see Bai Wei’s willfulness, arrogance, and those trivial bad habits? If he hadn’t been watching him so closely, how could he have noticed every little detail?

And at that time, An Tianming found himself trapped in a rather troubling contradiction.

He never actually intended to use the lowest of means for his revenge. Bai Qianyuan had merely forced his parents into bankruptcy through business tactics, leading to their suicides. An Tianming had no qualms about using illegal methods to get revenge, but deceiving and exploiting someone emotionally—especially someone who was essentially innocent—was a line he never wanted to cross.

An Tianming had tried to keep his distance from Bai Wei. But that naïve young master had probably never been treated coldly by anyone before, so he took special notice of An Tianming, who didn’t flatter or try to please him. Every time An Tianming lashed out, it only made Bai Wei pay more attention to him. And the more An Tianming tried to push him away, the more half-hearted his attempts became.

Later, An Tianming finally understood what kind of feeling it was that made him instinctively want to cheer Bai Wei up whenever he was sad. Whenever he was with Bai Wei, he would forget his own plans, and his instincts would take over—he just wanted to see Bai Wei smile.

A lot of things had spiraled out of his original plan. Like that one time when, driven by impulse, he climbed up to the third floor and entered Bai Wei’s room. Afterward, he had to convince himself that he had only done it to keep Bai Wei under his control. He repeated it to himself over and over again, and eventually, he started to believe that all of this was just a façade. That all the emotions he couldn’t even tell apart had turned into one big lie.

Back then, An Tianming often had dreams—dreams of when his revenge was finally complete, when the truth was revealed, when Bai Wei, that ignorant young master, became the tragic protagonist of a ruined family… And then, An Tianming would wake up in a panic, as if he had just had a nightmare.

He had imagined countless possibilities for what would happen afterward. And in every single one of them, Bai Wei remained the same—forever the spoiled young master, so kind, so fragile, so powerless. He would be crushed by the blow and never be able to stand back up.

An Tianming was so convinced that Bai Wei was someone who would always need to be cared for, someone who couldn’t survive on his own.

But in reality, Bai Wei had changed.

Even after spending another year living with Bai Wei after their reunion, it wasn’t until after his own death that An Tianming truly saw the real Bai Wei.

It turned out that Bai Wei was now a freelance composer. His income was unstable, but he managed just fine. In fact, he even created a budget at the start of every quarter, recorded every expense meticulously, calculated his finances regularly, and adjusted his spending when necessary. He was organized and efficient.

Not only that, but he could cook, do his own laundry, and clean the house. Most importantly, he handled all these daily tasks with surprising ease.

One time, the button on his shirt fell off—and only then did An Tianming realize that Bai Wei had actually kept every spare button from all his new clothes. When Bai Wei noticed his missing button, he easily found the matching spare and sewed it back on himself.

At that moment, Zhao Xuan happened to come over to help record a demo—by now, An Tianming had already learned all about Bai Wei’s social life, something he had been completely oblivious to even when they had shared a bed.

Bai Wei had three close friends. One of them, Liu Liang, was a lyricist—he was not only Bai Wei’s creative partner but also acted as his sales agent, helping him sell his songs. The second was Wang Ning, a small bar owner. An Tianming had no idea how the two had met, but they were close and often went to the gym together. The third friend was Zhao Xuan, his childhood best friend from middle school, who now worked as a singer at a bar. Bai Wei was terrible at singing—so much so that it was impossible to tell what melody he was trying to convey—so whenever he wrote a new song, it was always Zhao Xuan who recorded the demo for him.

That day, Zhao Xuan arrived to help with the demo and happened to see Bai Wei sewing on his button. With exaggerated sympathy, he said, “You’re actually doing needlework? Xiao Bai, are you really that pitiful? You should hurry up and find a girlfriend who can sew buttons for you!”

“As if girls these days even know how to sew buttons,” Bai Wei replied without even looking up. “Besides, I don’t like girls.”

Hearing this, Zhao Xuan’s expression became slightly serious, with a hint of cautious hesitation. “Actually, Xiao Bai… have you ever considered the possibility that you might like girls?”

Bai Wei lifted his head and gave Zhao Xuan a puzzled glance. “How is that possible?”

“Well… so many guys have chased after you over the years, and you’ve never been interested in any of them. Maybe that’s because you don’t actually like men.” Zhao Xuan hesitated, carefully choosing his words.

At that moment, An Tianming hated himself so much. Because what if Bai Wei didn’t actually like men—what if he had only ever liked him?

If realizing that Bai Wei wanted to kill him was the first time An Tianming thought that maybe Bai Wei had once loved him, then this was the second time—when An Tianming clearly felt that perhaps Bai Wei truly did love him.

Back then, probably to lessen his own guilt, An Tianming constantly told himself that Bai Wei’s feelings for him were nothing more than the childish obsession of a naïve young master. Otherwise, what exactly did Bai Wei see in him?

The only thing special about An Tianming was that he treated Bai Wei without any kindness, always picking on him. And for a young master who had been adored by everyone his entire life, An Tianming became an anomaly—so different that Bai Wei developed a desire to conquer him, to win over the only person who refused to yield to him.

An Tianming had always thought that way. He convinced himself that this was nothing more than a meaningless game, that there was no real emotion behind it. Because he was too cowardly, too despicable to face any other possibility.

…But maybe, just maybe, Bai Wei didn’t even like men at all.

Maybe he only liked him.

An Tianming instinctively looked at the person who, even after An Tianming realized just how deeply he loved him, still refused to face his own emotions.

The young master who once wore his heart on his sleeve, whose every thought and feeling could be easily read, now only had a well-practiced mask of indifference. Faced with Zhao Xuan’s words, Bai Wei raised an eyebrow nonchalantly, as if suddenly struck by an interesting thought. He asked with amused curiosity, “Xuan Zi, don’t you think I’m getting more and more charming these days? No one used to show any interest in me, but now, there are so many people who seem to like me.”

Zhao Xuan silently glanced at Bai Wei, who was clearly trying to change the subject, but in the end, he chose to go along with it. He replied, “Before, you were just a spoiled little young master who was impossible to please. But now you can hold your own in public and cook at home—you’re a completely different person.”

Bai Wei thought about it for a moment, then gave Zhao Xuan a suspicious side-eye. “Wait… is ‘holding your own in public and cooking at home’ even supposed to be a compliment for men?”

Zhao Xuan shrugged innocently, defending himself, “Come on, in this day and age, girls don’t even know how to sew buttons anymore. Of course, the standards for men have to change too.”

Bai Wei hesitated, looking like he was about to accept the logic—until something suddenly clicked in his mind. His expression shifted as he exclaimed, “Wait a second! I just realized—this is all because A’Ning keeps introducing me to new people, isn’t it? He wasn’t just trying to help me make friends! He’s been setting me up with boyfriends this whole time!”

Zhao Xuan gave him an exasperated glance. “Me, Wang Ning, and Liu Liang all thought you’d never figure it out.”

Bai Wei scoffed. “I may be a bit slow, but I’m not too slow to notice you making fun of me for being slow.”

“Relax, I’m not making fun of you. This joke is so old, it’s not even funny anymore.”

Bai Wei deliberately put on a serious face. “I was actually planning to make your favorite curry beef for dinner tonight…”

Zhao Xuan immediately sensed danger. “You’re not planning to make it anymore?” he asked cautiously.

Bai Wei shook his head, his expression dead serious. “No, I am still making curry beef. I’m just not planning to let you stay for dinner.”

Zhao Xuan quickly raised both hands in surrender, pleading, “I swear I won’t run my mouth anymore! And I’ll wash the dishes properly! Please, let me stay!”

These days, An Tianming had been watching Bai Wei cook for himself, though he had never once tasted the food.

Back when he thought Bai Wei would never set foot in a kitchen, if he had ever imagined a day when Bai Wei would cook, his first assumption would have been that whatever Bai Wei made might be lethal. And second… he had always thought that he would be the only one to ever have the chance to taste it.

An Tianming didn’t know why he had that illusion. Throughout the deception, he kept forgetting that their future was never meant to be a lifelong one. Even now, his body’s lingering instincts made him believe that only he had the right to eat Bai Wei’s—likely disastrous—cooking.

—Yet at this moment, all he could do was watch as Bai Wei, who had always been so good at forgiving others, so easily accepted Zhao Xuan’s request. And it was obvious that this wasn’t even the first time Zhao Xuan had tasted Bai Wei’s cooking.

Meanwhile, An Tianming himself had never gotten the chance.

…Or rather, he should put it this way—his chance had long since come to an end.

Because his life had already ended.

An Tianming finally, truly, and fully realized the fact that he was dead.

And yet, he had once again fallen into that pitiful, laughable illusion—that delusion of a lifelong future, as if he still had a lifetime to spend with Bai Wei.

Why was he still so selfish, even in death?

Even Bai Wei’s friends were introducing him to people, hoping he would move forward, hoping he would start a new life. And Bai Wei himself clearly wanted that too. He was throwing himself wholeheartedly into life, into a life without the shadow of An Tianming. He must have been yearning for a bright future without An Tianming in it.

And yet, An Tianming—who had wronged him the most, yet loved him the most—why couldn’t he simply hope for Bai Wei’s genuine happiness?

An Tianming made a decision.

Li Lang would be the person he hated and envied the most in this world.

But An Tianming had decided—he would find a way to bring Bai Wei and Li Lang together.