CFHE Chapter 52

Pure alcohol at 43 proof—downing it in one gulp made him dizzy quickly.

 

Wen Yu really liked this kind of thrill-seeking, although Big Brother had once criticized this behavior as wasteful of good alcohol. But he didn’t care—it wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it.

 

Big Brother truly loved alcohol, while he…

 

He didn’t know either. Maybe he just liked the rush of alcohol shooting straight to his head.

 

After nine o’clock, the place gradually heated up. New customers kept entering, and the music’s beat grew heavier accordingly.

 

Wen Yu sat there alone drinking two glasses before Chen Feifan finally arrived fashionably late.

 

“What’s this about?” He came over with a cigarette in his mouth, a roguish smile at the corner of his lips, wearing shorts and flip-flops like he was going downstairs to buy groceries. He looked Wen Yu up and down casually and flicked at his open shirt collar. “I thought something had put you in a bad mood and you came to find me, but it turns out you’re here to show off?”

 

Wen Yu pulled back his collar, saying speechlessly: “Could you be more dignified? You’re a family man at your age.”

 

Chen Feifan chuckled twice and lifted his chin toward the bartender: “See that? My good brother comes here and immediately starts picking on my age.”

 

The bartender, though an employee, had a pretty good relationship with Chen Feifan and immediately chimed in: “Your age really isn’t small anymore.”

 

“Bah, you two.” Chen Feifan spat and pointed at both of them, then tapped the two empty glasses in front of Wen Yu. “How come you’re drinking up front?”

 

“I’m rich and willful.” Wen Yu said. “Besides, I’ve never bought drinks up front before… just consider it curiosity.”

 

“Tell the truth.”

 

Wen Yu lowered his eyelids and hesitated for a moment: “…I came to the club to see if there’s anyone who catches my eye.”

 

Chen Feifan: “…”

 

“You!” He poked Wen Yu’s shoulder with one finger, looking down at him. “Come with me to the back.”

 

Wen Yu pursed his lips and stood up.

 

“Hey—Boss, he hasn’t paid yet!” the bartender called from behind the bar. “If you sell drinks without collecting money, you’ll dock my wages again!”

 

“Put his consumption on my tab!” Chen Feifan shouted back.

 

The noisy bar had an employee passage connecting to the warehouse and rest area, plus stairs leading upstairs.

 

Chen Feifan’s home was here—back when Wen Yu was underage, he would come up here to drink, or go to the quiet bar when it closed for private gatherings with friends.

 

At the top of the upward stairs was a wooden door with bells hanging on it that chimed when pushed open. Inside, a dim yellow lamp was lit, and no one sat at the rustic wooden table.

 

Chen Feifan had decorated his small living room in an imitation Gypsy style, with silver ornaments and feather decorations everywhere.

 

“Sit.” Chen Feifan lifted his chin, went to his wine storage room to select a bottle, and poured some for Wen Yu. “Tell me, what happened? Why did you come looking for me alone today?”

 

The clear liquor sparkled crystal-bright under the small lamp. Wen Yu picked up the glass, looked at it for a while, then downed it in one gulp again.

 

“Wasteful.” Chen Feifan said. “Don’t get drunk later.”

 

“I actually hope I could just get drunk like this.” Wen Yu sighed lightly. “Where’s ‘sister-in-law’?”

 

None of their group was straight, so Wen Yu’s “sister-in-law” referred to Chen Feifan’s steady boyfriend.

 

Relationships in the gay community were mostly short-lived, but Chen Feifan’s boyfriend had been with him for seven or eight years—quite a success story in their circle. Since they’d been together so long, they had met him a few times. Not close, but acquainted.

 

“Sleeping. He worked the early shift today.” Chen Feifan finished one cigarette and lit another. “If you have something to say, just say it. Why are you asking about him?”

 

“…” Wen Yu looked down at the glass in front of him. “Got any cigarettes? Give me one.”

 

Chen Feifan looked at his appearance and smiled with narrowed eyes: “Don’t you not have a smoking addiction?”

 

“Suddenly feel like smoking.”

 

Chen Feifan pulled out his cigarette pack and flicked one to him.

 

“Thanks.” Wen Yu caught it, used the lighter he gave him to light it, took a drag, “Cough, cough cough…”

 

Wen Yu rarely smoked and didn’t know the “deep lung” method they talked about, but even so, he still found the first drag choking every time.

 

Chen Feifan had lived more than ten years longer than him after all.

 

“Last time you said you had a new target, right?” He looked at him. “Is there a problem with that?”

 

“…” Wen Yu lowered his head and chuckled, not knowing who he was thinking of. “What’s going on lately? Everyone I meet is so perceptive…”

 

“You come in talking about ‘hunting’ and asking about my boyfriend—it can only be relationship problems. Since you’re already here, why don’t you tell me about it?” Chen Feifan sat down beside him and poured himself a drink. “Drink up, stop smoking. Haven’t you noticed you don’t know how to smoke at all?”

 

“I want to smoke.” Wen Yu said.

 

“You want to smoke my ass,” Chen Feifan said lazily. “Looking for thrills, right? I find it strange, Little Seven, is admitting you’re a ‘good boy’ so painful for you?”

 

“…” Wen Yu frowned and looked up at him. “I’ve said many times, I’m not.”

 

“Fine,” Chen Feifan nodded, “whatever you say. But let me be clear first—the people in clubs aren’t reliable. If you want thrills, fine, I’ll just give you one piece of advice: ‘remember to use protection.’ But if you’re looking for true love, you’ve come to the wrong place.”

 

Wen Yu might not be ignorant of this logic, but…

 

“Didn’t you find ‘sister-in-law’ at a club?” Wen Yu was puzzled. He took a drag of his cigarette while pouring himself a drink. “Cough cough… I thought you’d recommend I find someone at a club.”

 

“I was just lucky to pick one up.” Chen Feifan smiled. “The probability is less than one in ten thousand. Do you think you’re blessed by luck? Look at Old Five—he looks in clubs every time. When has he ever succeeded?”

 

Wen Yu fell silent again briefly and took a deep drag of his cigarette.

 

Old Five had been heartbroken more times than Wen Yu had gotten first place in his grade. The brothers had long advised Old Five not to get too heartbroken over one-night stands he met at bars—it wasn’t worth it.

 

It was inherently a place for carnal desires.

 

That cigarette burned down visibly fast. As soon as Wen Yu finished inhaling and exhaled, he started coughing uncontrollably. Chen Feifan couldn’t stand watching and reached out to take the half-cigarette from his hand, stubbing it out in the ashtray: “Good boys should behave.”

 

“I’m not… cough cough…”

 

“I know. When I was your age, I didn’t like being a good boy either.” Chen Feifan said. “I didn’t start thinking until I was twenty-eight that if I had been more ‘well-behaved’ back then and gotten a proper diploma, maybe those years in my early twenties wouldn’t have been so hard. Little Seven, I’ve been in business for so many years. I won’t say I’m 100% accurate at reading people, but I won’t be wrong about you—you’re actually a good person.”

 

Wen Yu coughed for a long while. When he finally calmed his breathing, he drained the drink in front of him and poured another.

 

“I’m not.” His coughing had been severe, making even the corners of his eyes a bit red. He repeated in a low voice.

 

Chen Feifan said nothing. Seeing that one bottle was almost finished, he went into the storage room to get another bottle and placed it in front of Wen Yu with a “snap.”

 

Some kind of intense collision seemed to be erupting within Wen Yu. Because of the indoor quiet, this collision appeared even more silent yet magnificent. Chen Feifan sat down, picked up his glass, and sipped the iced whiskey leisurely while appreciating Wen Yu’s expression.

 

After a while.

 

Wen Yu seemed to finally find a suitable answer in his intense internal struggle. He poured himself a drink and downed it once again.

 

“I don’t really want to… live the way my dad demands.” He sniffled and coughed lightly. “I’ve been obedient enough to him already.”

 

Wen Ziming demanded he be humble and polite to people, so he never had conflicts with teachers or classmates afterward.

 

Wen Ziming demanded he strive for excellence, so he always won prizes in competitions and never dropped below first place in his grade.

 

No smoking, no drinking, no puppy love, no gaming; wake up before 6 AM, sleep no later than 10:30 PM; no talking during meals, no using chopsticks during casual conversation… Rule after rule, like creating a template for Wen Yu, forcibly molding him into the “good child” praised by teachers and elders.

 

It was suffocating.

 

The more his father demanded this, the more Wen Yu rebelled privately.

 

Not only did he have puppy love, but he was gay; he stayed up late and woke up late, smoked and drank, and through this met Chen Feifan and his group—friends who, in his father’s words, were “unseemly” and “disreputable.”

 

He thought this was great.

 

However, this group of friends was initially met through drinking. Going from drinking buddies to true brothers had involved quite a few ups and downs. Wen Yu had never really talked about his family situation in detail—it wasn’t necessary and he didn’t want to bring it up.

 

Fortunately, Chen Feifan was shrewd.

 

He raised an eyebrow and tapped him lightly: “Oh, rebellious phase—”

 

This time Wen Yu didn’t vehemently refute him. He lowered his head and chuckled: “Maybe.”

 

Without realizing it, he had already drunk more than a bottle, and his head was finally getting a bit heavy.

 

Chen Feifan’s voice drifted vaguely in his ears: “I’m free today, I can be your ‘caring big brother’ for once. Of course, if you insist on going down to the club to have fun, I won’t stop you—”

 

“Forget it,” Wen Yu frowned slightly, “actually I find it dirty too.”

 

“Mm.”

 

“I just… I just wanted to prove that I’m recently just ‘sexually frustrated,’ not that I really…”

 

“Mm?” Chen Feifan lifted his eyelids.

 

“Brother Chen, do you remember when we first met?” Wen Yu poured another drink and smiled with narrowed eyes. “I was still in middle school then, right? I met Old Five when I went out to karaoke with classmates. I was interested in him then, thinking this person was a guy but acted feminine and was very amusing.”

 

Chen Feifan made an “mm” sound.

 

Thinking about it now, it was all a misunderstanding, quite funny. When the group got together, they often used it as a joke to tease people after a few drinks.

 

“A month later I was interested in another classmate because he borrowed five books from our school’s reading room every month and finished them on time.” Wen Yu reminisced. “I thought at the time, how could there be such a neurotic person in this world… I always thought the school reading room was just decoration.”

 

“Mm.”

 

“Then there was… that straight guy I mentioned to you before,” he said with lowered eyes, taking a sip of wine. “He’s also very interesting. I’ve never seen someone so sunny and cheerful in my entire life. To put it less nicely, he’s a bit naive and innocent? I observed him for two years and found he really wasn’t pretending—he’s just that pure of a person.”

 

He would worry about declining grades and be happy when his goddess said an extra word to him.

 

That was Yang Fan.

 

Being with him was very comfortable. Wen Yu had initially approached him with the dark thought of “let me see how long he can keep up this act,” but was eventually won over by him too.

 

Yang Fan made Wen Yu realize that there really was a type of person in the world who enjoyed living a “rule-abiding” life.

 

Chen Feifan: “Mm.”

 

“So I originally thought this time would be the same as before…” Wen Yu took another drink. “Brother Chen, I don’t want to be like this.”

 

“—But I like him.”

 

He said this very softly, as if speaking louder would disturb something.

 

He tried to make it as light as possible, but the words themselves seemed to carry a weight heavier than a thousand pounds, pressing hard on his chest, making him suffocate with every word.

 

He was used to pretending, living daily with falsehood.

 

So only at this moment did he understand that sincerity comes with blood, and he was cowardly.

 

Chen Feifan blinked lightly and reached to take the remaining half glass of wine from his hand: “You’ve had too much to drink.”

 

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 (advanced chapters available on kofi)