HXC Chapter35

Just before deep winter, heavy snow, like goose down, threatened to bury the capital city.

 

Few pedestrians were on the roads, and the carriage moved with great difficulty through the snow. Ji Zhen would occasionally lift the bamboo curtain for a look, and the wind, mixed with fine snowflakes, would rush in, landing on his dark hair and lashes before melting into crystal-clear water droplets from his body heat.

 

Inside the carriage, the brazier was burning fiercely, causing Ji Zhen’s cheeks to become slightly flushed. It was a welcome change, finally giving some color to his usually pale face.

 

He was burning with anxiety, terrified of being even a moment late. He stuck half his head out of the curtain before Shen Yanqing grabbed and pulled him back.

 

“Sit still.”

 

The hand warmer in Ji Zhen’s hands had already grown cold, and his fingers were slightly chilly. Shen Yanqing didn’t say much, just held his hand tightly.

 

The snow grew heavier. The coachman reported, “My Lord, I can’t see the road anymore.”

 

Shen Yanqing replied, “Rest by the roadside for a quarter of an hour.”

 

Upon hearing this, Ji Zhen grew anxious and said, “We can’t stop. We’ll miss the time.”

 

Seeing that Shen Yanqing didn’t respond, he felt even more frantic. He lifted the curtain, stood up, and said, “It’s only two more streets to the city gate. I’ll run the rest of the way.”

 

With that, he was about to get out of the carriage.

 

Shen Yanqing pulled him back. “There is still three-quarters of an hour until Sushi[mfn]9-11am[/mfn]. We’ll make it.”

 

“What if we don’t?” Ji Zhen stubbornly tried to break free. “You don’t have to bother with me, I know the way.”

 

During their struggle, the hand warmer fell onto the carriage floor. Ji Zhen tried his best to pry Shen Yanqing’s fingers apart, not noticing as his nail scraped hard against the back of the other party’s hand, instantly leaving a bloody mark.

 

Ji Zhen instantly went still as if cold water had been thrown on him.

 

A sharp sting came from the back of Shen Yanqing’s hand, but he only glanced at it without holding a grudge. He pulled Ji Zhen back to sit beside him and, after a moment of silence, finally gave in. “Continue on our way.”

 

Ji Zhen let out a sigh of relief and quietly looked at the hand he had injured, lowering his head like a child who had done something wrong. “I didn’t mean to.”

 

Shen Yanqing didn’t press the matter, and as if afraid Ji Zhen would try to run off again, he didn’t let go of his hand. He simply gave a calm ‘en’.

 

Ji Zhen was silent, then after a while, he gently used his other hand to touch the thin wound. Perhaps the brazier was burning too hot, but it made his eyes feel warm.

 

Just as Ji Zhen was lost in thought, Shen Yanqing suddenly said softly, “At the end of the month, Yi Zhi will go to the Lin family to propose marriage. The wedding should be in early spring.”

 

Ji Zhen looked up in surprise.

 

Shen Yanqing continued, “He invited me to bring you to the wedding banquet.”

 

Ji Zhen’s eyes slowly widened in surprise. “But…”

 

Shen Yanqing pressed his thin lips together and said slowly, “Yi Zhi and the Lin family’s young lady are of one heart. It should be a beautiful union.”

 

The words “beautiful union” struck Ji Zhen hard, and he nervously withdrew the hand that was stroking the bloody mark on the back of Shen Yanqing’s hand.

 

Was Shen Yanqing reminding him that a true love match requires mutual affection, or did he have another intention? If he had learned about Yi Zhi’s engagement half a year ago, he would have been overjoyed. But now, aside from offering his congratulations, it no longer seemed very important.

 

Ji Zhen curved his lips into a smile and said with genuine feeling, “Then I must truly congratulate him.”

 

Unfortunately, he feared he wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding banquet for Yi Zhi and the Lin family’s young lady.

 

Shen Yanqing waited a moment, but when he received no further words from Ji Zhen, he was about to speak again when Ji An, who was at the front of the carriage, shouted, “Young Master, we are almost at the city gate.”

 

Ji Zhen immediately pulled his hand out of Shen Yanqing’s grasp, his eyes filled with joy.

 

He lifted the bamboo curtain and leapt down from the carriage without a moment’s hesitation.

 

Ji An held an umbrella to shield him from the snow. Ji Zhen gazed at the wide-open city gate, where a few figures were visible in the distance.

 

Unable to see clearly, he anxiously took a few steps forward.

 

The bamboo-like figure with his back to him slowly turned around.

 

In the biting frost and flying snow, Ji Zhen finally saw his elder brother, whom he hadn’t seen in days. In the depths of winter, Ji Jue only had a rough, dark gray cloak over his thin, simple robe. In this destitute state, he stood tall and unyielding like a strong green bamboo, unbroken by the wind and undefeated by the rain.

 

Iron chains could not restrain his pride, nor could they defeat and break his character.

 

Ever since Ji Zhen could remember, his elder brother had always been as steadfast as the wind and as unbending as a bamboo stalk. He had never been in such a desolate and difficult situation. Before seeing him, Ji Zhen hadn’t fully grasped the cruelty of his political party’s defeat, but now the harsh reality was right before his eyes, pushing his hatred and resentment to their peak, much like the relentless gusts of wind and heavy snow.

 

Ji Zhen lunged towards his elder brother, but just as he took a step, Shen Yanqing grabbed his wrist.

 

He turned his head abruptly, completely unaware of how much animosity and resentment were mixed in his eyes.

 

His fury was like a sharp ice blade, slashing at Shen Yanqing, cutting deep to the bone. This time, Shen Yanqing clearly saw it: the fervent love that had once been in Ji Zhen’s eyes was now gone, buried by the overwhelming snow and frost.

 

The deeper the love, the heavier the hatred.

 

Ji Zhen’s eyes were red with sorrow and indignation. He glared at Shen Yanqing and used all his strength to shove him away, then turned and ran straight toward his elder brother without a second glance.

 

Shen Yanqing took half a step back, watching as Ji Zhen threw himself heavily into Ji Jue’s arms.

 

The many days of panic and helplessness were soothed in that embrace. Ji Zhen sobbed and called out, “Gege.”

 

Ji Jue wrapped his arms around Ji Zhen, and the two brothers held each other tightly in the heavy snow.

 

The officials escorting Ji Jue looked at the approaching Shen Yanqing and said with a troubled expression, “My Lord, the time has come. We must begin the journey with the convict.”

 

The corner of Shen Yanqing’s eye twitched almost imperceptibly, but his expression remained calm. He nodded. “My wife is bidding farewell to his elder brother. I’d appreciate it if you would wait for the time it takes an incense stick to burn.”

 

Upon hearing this, Ji Zhen lifted his face from his elder brother’s embrace and said in a firm voice, “I want to go with my elder brother!”

 

This time, not only did Shen Yanqing frown, but even Ji Jue called out disapprovingly, “Zhen Zhen?”

 

Ji Zhen let go of his arms, stood up straight, and said resolutely, “Gege, I want to go to Ningzhou with you. Ji An will come with us, too. The three of us will never be separated.”

 

As he spoke, he gave a happy smile.

 

Shen Yanqing finally understood why Ji Zhen had such a brilliant smile in the courtyard today. He had already decided to travel with Ji Jue, which explained why he was in such a rush to get to the city gate, even if it meant jumping from the moving carriage.

 

“Ji Zhen,” Shen Yanqing said in a low voice. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

Standing by his elder brother’s side, Ji Zhen suddenly found courage and retorted, “In your eyes, everything I do is wrong, but Shen Yanqing, are you without any fault?”

 

He stood in the wind and snow, looking at the other party and choking out, “I don’t understand the twists and turns of officialdom. I only know that my elder brother has been imprisoned and exiled, while you’ve been promoted…”

 

How could he abandon his loving elder brother and continue to stay by Shen Yanqing’s side?

 

Shen Yanqing’s adam apple bobbed.

 

Ji Zhen sniffled and said earnestly to his elder brother, “You don’t need to worry about me not being able to handle the hardships of exile. I’m different now. I won’t cry and complain about being tired after just a few steps, and I won’t whine about wanting you to carry me either.”

 

His eyes were red. “Please take me with you, Gege.”

 

Ji Jue affectionately squeezed Ji Zhen’s hand, neither agreeing nor refusing.

 

The official urged, “Lord Shen.”

 

Shen Yanqing took a shallow breath and strode forward to grab Ji Zhen.

 

Ji Zhen was startled and hid behind Ji Jue, watching Shen Yanqing with the guarded look of an enemy.

 

Ji Jue’s feet were shackled with heavy iron chains, making it difficult to move, but he held Ji Zhen’s hand tightly and said, “Allow me to have a few words with Zhen Zhen.”

 

He turned around and straightened Ji Zhen’s cloak and collar. His voice was gentle and warm. “Alright, I’ll take you. But the journey is long. There will be no fish and meat, only vegetables and steamed buns to fill your belly. Are you afraid?”

 

Tears welled in Ji Zhen’s eyes, and he shook his head. “I’m not afraid.”

 

Ji Jue then rubbed his face. “What if we encounter harsh weather—scorching sun, flying snow, strong winds, and heavy rain? Will you be afraid then?”

 

Ji Zhen shook his head firmly again. “I’m not afraid.”

 

He was overjoyed that his elder brother had finally agreed to let him leave with him. To show his determination, he quickly added, “I’m not afraid of anything. Gege, believe me…”

 

Just as he finished speaking, a hand chopped the back of his neck.

 

Ji Zhen felt a wave of dizziness. He widened his eyes in disbelief, but before he could even make a sound, he went limp and collapsed into his elder brother’s arms.

 

Just before losing consciousness, he saw his elder brother’s gentle gaze and heard a sentence carried to his ears by the wind: “But I am afraid.”

 

Afraid you will suffer in the summer heat, afraid you will freeze in the deep winter, afraid you will be cold and hungry, afraid of bandits taking your life, and afraid of countless unforeseen events that would bring no peace.

 

“Zhen Zhen,” Ji Jue hugged the warm body in his arms with reluctance, his lips silently forming the words, “Wait for me to bring you home.”

 

The unconscious Ji Zhen was handed back to Shen Yanqing.

 

Ji Jue bowed and said, “Lord Shen, do not forget the promise you made in prison.”

 

The roaring wind whipped at Ji Jue’s thin clothes. Shen Yanqing gave a solemn nod and, while holding Ji Zhen, watched him walk away.

 

The clanking of the iron chains grew fainter, and the heavy snow covered the sight of the steadfast bamboo figure.

 

From then on, there was nothing more to say about life’s hardships, for the greatest sorrow in this world is parting.

 

—

 

Ji Zhen woke up before they arrived at the Shen Mansion.

 

Unusually, he didn’t cry or make a fuss. He just sat on the cushion, hugging his knees, looking dazed.

 

Ji An was allowed into the carriage, and though he tried to console him with every word he knew, Ji Zhen still refused to utter a sound, merely staring at the tips of his shoes.

 

“Lord Shen,” Ji An’s mouth was raw from talking, and he was no longer afraid of Shen Yanqing. “My Young Master… could he be bewitched? He’s been awake for so long, yet he still won’t speak.”

 

Shen Yanqing sat quietly to the side, his gaze fixed on Ji Zhen’s listless expression.

 

Earlier in the day, he had been laughing and talking with Ji An, but now he had become a soulless puppet doll.

 

Was being unable to follow Ji Jue to Ningzhou such a big blow to him?

 

Ji Zhen’s hateful gaze still lingered in Shen Yanqing’s mind. He couldn’t forget that moment of alarm, and finally, he said, “Ji Jue had his reasons for not taking you with him.”

 

Ji Zhen covered his ears, paying no mind to him.

 

Shen Yanqing had never been treated with such coldness. “If you insist on acting this way, you can go after them right now…”

 

Before he could finish, Ji Zhen was scrambling to get out of the carriage. Shen Yanqing’s brows twitched slightly, and he held him down.

 

Ji Zhen choked out, “Didn’t you tell me to go after them?”

 

Shen Yanqing took a deep breath. After dismissing Ji An, he said, “You would only be a hindrance by following Ji Jue. What would you even do?”

 

Ji Zhen angrily pushed Shen Yanqing. When he couldn’t move him, he slumped back in his seat, feeling aggrieved. “My elder brother never lies to me. It must have been you who threatened him, which is why he wouldn’t take me.”

 

Shen Yanqing had never known Ji Zhen to be so difficult, placing baseless accusations on him. He let go of Ji Zhen. “If you ever want to see Ji Jue again, stay quietly in the capital and do nothing at all.”

 

Ji Zhen froze, half-believing him. In the end, he shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”

 

Shen Yanqing pulled a letter from his sleeve and tossed it to Ji Zhen. “Read it yourself.”

 

Ji Zhen opened the envelope and saw his elder brother’s strong handwriting: Zhen Zhen, wait patiently for good news.

 

His nose stung, and he finally believed that his elder brother had a reason for his actions. He held the letter and cried silently, babbling both happily and sadly, “I knew that Gege wouldn’t abandon me…”

 

Seeing this, Shen Yanqing asked, “Do you still want to go after them?”

 

Ji Zhen carefully put the letter away, shook his head, and curled back up in the corner, looking as though he no longer wanted to speak to Shen Yanqing.

 

Ji Zhen was willing to follow Jiang Yunyu to the northern desert and Ji Jue to Ningzhou, yet he needed a reason to stay in the capital.

 

The thing that Shen Yanqing once had within his grasp seemed to be quietly slipping away. He gazed silently at Ji Zhen and looked away, feeling a trace of vexation.

 

The author has something to say:

Zhen Zhen (hands on hips): Although you have my body, but *#$%$Y@DFS…