LC chapter 27

 

The night breeze lifted a corner of Zhan Xi’s long trench coat. Under the dim streetlight, Lin Ruan could not clearly discern Zhan Xi’s expression. He looked at Zhan Xi anxiously, unsure if Zhan Xi was tormented or had simply remained silent for a long time. Lin Ruan felt as if time had stretched out.

Zhan Xi lowered his eyes to look at Lin Ruan. The shadow cast by his eyelashes made his eyes appear dark and unclear.

“Do you know what it means to like someone?” Zhan Xi asked softly.

Lin Ruan’s throat felt dry. “I… I’m learning.”

“At the Yanzhi Huntong?” Zhan Xi’s voice was faint.

Lin Ruan fell silent.

Zhan Xi said nothing more and turned to go back inside. This time, the usually timid man was relentless, quickly grabbing Zhan Xi.

“I do like you.” Lin Ruan tugged at Zhan Xi’s sleeve and looked at him intently.

Zhan Xi’s throat moved slightly as he looked at Lin Ruan. “Do you like me, depend on me—or perhaps you’ve simply gotten used to having me around? Maybe you just need someone to help and guide you. That’s not what liking is.”

Lin Ruan shook his head vigorously. He knew that wasn’t the case, but the situation was too complicated for him to argue with Zhan Xi.

Suddenly, Lin Ruan stepped forward, tilted his head, and kissed Zhan Xi on the lips. The kiss was light and fleeting, like a dream that could only be savored.

Afterwards, Lin Ruan pulled back and said, “That should count as liking, right?”

Zhan Xi’s gaze darkened instantly, and he pressed his palm hard against Lin Ruan’s neck.

“Are you sure that’s what you call liking?” Zhan Xi’s eyes darkened.

This was probably Lin Ruan’s most courageous moment. Looking into Zhan Xi’s eyes, Lin Ruan nodded without hesitation.

Almost in the next instant, Zhan Xi grabbed the back of Lin Ruan’s neck and kissed him. The kiss came fiercely—not gentle or hesitant, almost devouring—stealing all of Lin Ruan’s breath in a heartbeat.

This side of Zhan Xi was unfamiliar. The man who had always been noble and restrained now displayed unrestrained madness, revealing his hidden possessiveness beneath his gentlemanly exterior.

After an unknown amount of time, Zhan Xi finally released Lin Ruan. His pale knuckles hinted at his struggle to control himself.

The corner of Lin Ruan’s mouth was bitten open, and a faint trace of blood seeped out. Zhan Xi stared at the wound for a long time, then said, “Go inside.”

Lin Ruan stood there confused for a while before following Zhan Xi inside. Zhan Xi went upstairs to his room while Butler Tong saw Lin Ruan standing dazed in the living room. He said, “Don’t just stand there. Go help Aunt Cao in the kitchen.”

Lin Ruan softly responded, went back to his room, changed into a dark blue jacket, and went down to the kitchen to help Aunt Cao. He stood in front of the stove, trying to sort through what had just happened.

“Not the best timing,” Lin Ruan thought. Confessing right after leaving Rouge Alley makes me look improper.

He sprinkled a bit of salt into the fish soup and thought again—what did Zhan Xi’s reaction mean? Did he accept my confession? Could it be… does he like me too?

Lin Ruan touched the wound on his lip and sighed softly. He could never read Zhan Xi and never knew what was on his mind.

During dinner, Lin Ruan couldn’t help but glance at Zhan Xi from time to time. Zhan Xi looked perfectly calm, as if what had happened earlier had never taken place.

Zhan Xi was always Zhan Xi. Lin Ruan lowered his head, feeling lost and disheartened.

After the meal, Zhan Xi called Lin Ruan upstairs.

Lin Ruan nervously followed him upstairs. Zhan Xi sat down on the sofa, and his first words were, “Why did you go to Yanzhi Hutong?”

It’s over—he’s come to settle the score. Lin Ruan immediately knelt in front of Zhan Xi and said, “I was wrong.”

Zhan Xi raised an eyebrow and said, “You still haven’t said why you were there.”

Lin Ruan answered honestly, “I asked Suan Zi how to understand liking someone. He didn’t know, so he took me to Yanzhi Huitong. He said that only a romantic place could answer a question about romance.”

“Did I ever tell you not to get too close to Suanzi?”

“You did.” Lin Ruan thought to himself—today is definitely not a lucky day. It’s a bad time to confess—no response, and now I’ve committed two offenses. Two crimes, at least forty strikes.

“I know I was wrong,” Lin Ruan said with a look of heroic resignation. “Sir, please punish me.”

Zhan Xi didn’t speak. Lin Ruan waited a while, then looked up at him, only to meet his gaze.

“Not today.” Zhan Xi reached out and pulled Lin Ruan into his arms.

Lin Ruan froze. “Why?”

“Because your status is different now,” Zhan Xi said casually. “You’re my boyfriend now. I have to coax you, I can’t punish you.”

Lin Ruan’s mind exploded like fireworks. He looked at Zhan Xi. “I… I’m what?”

“Boyfriend.” Zhan Xi said it naturally, as if they had been dating for a long time.

Lin Ruan grabbed Zhan Xi’s wrist. “You mean…you like me too?”

Zhan Xi leaned his forehead against Lin Ruan’s. “Doesn’t it seem that way?”

Lin Ruan’s head was spinning. “I’m not very smart. You have to make it clear to me.”

Amusement flickered in Zhan Xi’s eyes. His deep voice sounded especially enticing at that moment.

“I like you. Zhan Xi likes Lin Ruan.”

Lin Ruan froze, feeling as if a wild dream had suddenly come true. Zhan Xi had once told him that Lin Ruan had no personal likes or dislikes, nothing he especially wanted or longed to do. Liking Zhan Xi was the first thing he had ever done without hesitation, and Zhan Xi’s affection was the one thing he desperately wanted in return.

“What do you like about me?” Lin Ruan asked, still feeling unreal.

Zhan Xi didn’t answer. He lowered his gaze slightly and looked at Lin Ruan.

It was a long time ago—Zhan Xi had fallen seriously ill. The illness hit him hard. He lay in bed, half-conscious, surrounded by the sounds of crying. At some point, he opened his eyes and saw a child kneeling by his bedside.

The child’s eyes were dazed, and he was clearly crying, his eyes were red. The moment he saw Zhan Xi wake up, his eyes burst with joy. In that instant, Zhan Xi felt as if he were that child’s entire world.

That child was Lin Ruan. He had been kneeling by Zhan Xi’s bedside for three days. If Zhan Xi hadn’t woken up, no one knew what would have happened to Lin Ruan.

After surviving the illness, Zhan Xi became colder than before. He felt detached from everything—emotionless and indifferent as if separated from the world by an invisible wall.

People whispered that he was possessed. They didn’t dare say it to his face, but they all avoided him. The only person who stayed by his side was Lin Ruan. To Zhan Xi, Lin Ruan was tied to his fate. To Lin Ruan, Zhan Xi was the foundation of his survival in the prince’s manor.

Most people in the manor were like the decaying building itself. They couldn’t stand to see others do well. They were jealous of those who were better off and delighted in tormenting those who were worse off. They spared no effort to spread their malice.

But Lin Ruan was completely different. He was timid, cowardly, and foolishly kind. With just a few words, Zhan Xi could make him follow wholeheartedly and control everything about him.

For a time, Zhan Xi took pleasure in manipulating Lin Ruan, watching him experience emotional changes because of him and guiding his actions along paths Zhan Xi had designed. It was a strange feeling—like being a god and controlling others—and it was addictive.

Zhan Xi invested a lot of effort in Lin Ruan. It was hard to say who conquered whom—did Zhan Xi tame Lin Ruan, or did Lin Ruan tame Zhan Xi?

One day, Zhan Xi looked at Lin Ruan, the boy whose eyes were always full of confusion, and felt a pang of heartache for the first time. In that moment, the punishment for playing with someone’s heart arrived.

He fell for Lin Ruan. He loved him. But Lin Ruan, oblivious, remained the same simple, empty-headed boy.

For a fleeting instant, Zhan Xi realized he might never truly possess Lin Ruan’s love.

“Lin Ruan,” Zhan Xi asked, looking at him. “Do you really know what it means to like someone?”

It was the third time he’d asked that question.

Lin Ruan looked at him and answered truthfully: “I might not be able to explain what liking someone means, but I really like you. This feeling is unique—I know that’s what liking is.”

“Of course I know it’s unique.” Zhan Xi stroked Lin Ruan’s forehead. But that uniqueness—that closeness and dependence—was a fragile illusion that Zhan Xi had deceived Lin Ruan into feeling.

This was probably retribution. Even if Lin Ruan truly liked him, Zhan Xi would always have a trace of doubt in his heart—was that feeling real, or just an echo of his manipulation?

Lin Ruan asked, “Then what is Sir worried about?”

Zhan Xi lowered his gaze to Lin Ruan. His eyes seemed to hold countless words, but in the end, he only said, “I’m worried you’ll regret it.”

Lin Ruan sat up straight and looked at Zhan Xi seriously. “I’ll never regret it.”

In this world, there was probably no one who could occupy the same place in Lin Ruan’s life as Zhan Xi did.

Lin Ruan had lived a confused life up until now, with an uncertain future, but he understood one thing completely and without a doubt:

However, Lin Ruan didn’t know that Zhan Xi was far greedier than he imagined. Zhan Xi didn’t want dependence or attachment; he wanted the love of a whole, complete Lin Ruan. A love that would bring Lin Ruan back to him no matter what happened in the future.

In a way, Zhan Xi had set himself a harder challenge in conquering Lin Ruan.