01
At the age of twenty-eight, Yan Qi took on a role as the initiator for a talent show. According to the show’s producers, they planned to invite many big names as mentors this season, and Zhou Shichen was among them.
But Zhou Shichen was popular and talented, and whether she accepted depended on her mood, so it was difficult to lock her down.
The implication was that they wanted Yan Qi to help put in a good word.
“Boss,” the secretary said after carefully relaying the producer’s words, “ever since the last girl group comeback ended, you and Teacher Zhou haven’t been in contact, have you?”
Yan Qi was flipping through her studio’s financial report for the quarter and grunted in acknowledgment. “You heard?”
The secretary quickly said, “I didn’t mean to overhear!”
Yan Qi nodded slightly. “Her voice was indeed quite loud. I told her to keep it down, but she didn’t listen.”
The secretary said awkwardly, “You’re teammates. You should communicate well.”
Yan Qi raised her eyes.
The secretary stood up straight. “If there are no other instructions, I’ll be leaving now, Boss!”
Yan Qi didn’t speak. After the secretary left, she turned another page of the financial report. The clock on her desk ticked away, minute by minute, second by second, meticulously recording the passage of time.
At five past six, Yan Qi finished the last page, logged into her account to approve the studio’s recent projects, and only then found a moment to think about Zhou Shichen.
She thought about the unhappy way they had parted last time.
They shouldn’t have parted on bad terms.
Yan Qi found Zhou Shichen’s chat window, which had sunk to the bottom of her WeChat list. Their last conversation was still on Zhou Shichen asking if she had arrived, and her reply with an “OK” hand gesture emoji.
After replying, she had pushed open the hotel room door. Zhou Shichen had thrown herself into her arms and, without a word, started taking off her clothes. When stopped, she had hung on her unhappily. “You didn’t shower before you came?”
She had wrapped an arm around Zhou Shichen’s waist and walked toward the bathroom, her tone cool. “I’ll wash again.”
Yan Qi wasn’t a germaphobe. But ever since she started sleeping with her teammate and roommate, it had become a habit, a form of mutual respect.
That’s right, she had slept with Zhou Shichen, and more than once.
Yan Qi closed Zhou Shichen’s chat window and looked out at the sunset gradually sinking between the buildings. She thought to herself that ever since she decided to become a trainee, she had strictly adhered to the idol code: no dating, no messy friendships. She only had about twenty friends on her private WeChat, striving to be an idol focused solely on her career.
Even when Chen Yuan left the group to get married because of a relationship, and Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi started dating within the group, her conviction had never wavered. She couldn’t control others, but she could control herself.
…So how did she end up losing control?
The light of the sunset in Yan Qi’s eyes dimmed, then vanished into the vast night, making the office lights seem brighter. Her blurry reflection was cast on the floor-to-ceiling window.
She felt the problem was mainly with her.
Anyone who knew Zhou Shichen knew that she was playful, loved to have fun, and adored browsing forums to ship CPs—regardless of orientation, she shipped them all. As Zhou Shichen’s roommate, Yan Qi knew this even better. Zhou Shichen had recommended many CP fan edits to her, and after every one, she would ask with sparkling eyes, “So? So? Did you ship it?”
She was meticulous and couldn’t bring herself to give a perfunctory answer. In the end, she could only be a wet blanket: “The acting isn’t up to par. The way he looks at her isn’t as affectionate as the way I look at you.”
Fan service for CPs was a required course for girl groups, and Yan Qi naturally had to get a high score.
Zhou Shichen huffed. “That’s because they’re a real couple, and we’re fake! You don’t get it!”
After saying that, she watched it again and died from the shipping feels all over again.
Yan Qi had thought Zhou Shichen wouldn’t try to recommend anything to her again and had even spent her free time wondering how to mend their soon-to-be-shattered teammate-ship. But unexpectedly, Zhou Shichen had completely forgotten the matter, sending her a link directly: “This one’s real, I guarantee it! You’ll regret it for life if you don’t ship them! Just give it a try!”
This pair was a couple of female food bloggers from overseas. They had supposedly been dating for six years, had come out, and had met each other’s parents.
During a break, Yan Qi finished the video Zhou Shichen had sent and replied, “It is indeed very sweet.”
Zhou Shichen: “【Smug.jpg】”
During that time, she was filming in S City and could still go back to the dorm every day. Zhou Shichen, however, was flying all over the place, sometimes there, sometimes not. It wasn’t until she came home and saw Zhou Shichen there for two or three days in a row that Yan Qi asked, “Not busy lately?”
Zhou Shichen said while eating instant noodles, “I was supposed to film a variety show, but something went wrong with the production team, so I’m free now. Binge-watching dramas and shipping CPs at home every day, you have no idea how great it is!”
“What are you shipping lately?” Yan Qi felt it was necessary to communicate more with her teammate to show her care as the captain.
As she spoke, she picked up the tablet Zhou Shichen had left on the sofa. The tablet recognized her face and unlocked automatically, so fast that Zhou Shichen swallowed her noodles whole and yelled, “Don’t look-” but it was too late.
The video on the tablet continued to play.
“This model can completely satisfy a girl’s personal needs. No hands required, just place it…” The sound, playing at double speed, was fast and urgent, but every key point was delivered without fail, landing in the silent room.
Yan Qi blinked.
In the video, a small, exquisite toy was displayed openly on a desk. The occasional flash of neon light added a touch of ambiguity. Just as she was carefully observing it to verify the features mentioned in the description, she heard Zhou Shichen, who had finally reacted, run over screaming, “Stop looking, stop looking!”
The tablet was snatched from Yan Qi’s hand, and then the double-speed audio paused. The air became quiet again.
She looked at Zhou Shichen.
Zhou Shichen said, “You didn’t see anything!”
Yan Qi stated the fact, “I saw it.”
Zhou Shichen tried to brainwash her. “You didn’t hear anything either!”
Yan Qi said, expressionless, “This model can completely satisfy…”
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” Zhou Shichen quickly cut her off, unnaturally tucking her hair behind her ear, forcing herself to remain calm. “I know you have a good memory, don’t repeat it. It’s nothing, really. I was planning to buy one, so I was just looking, you know? I don’t know which model is good, so I’m checking them all out.”
Yan Qi didn’t think there was anything wrong or shameful about it. She just nodded and asked, “Are you short on money lately?”
Zhou Shichen was confused. “No.”
Yan Qi asked, “Then why not just buy them all and try them one by one?”
Zhou Shichen: “…Don’t be so extravagant!”
But Yan Qi didn’t think it was extravagant. She walked to the fridge, took out a carton of milk, and said as she poured it into a glass, “You’re not short on money. Instead of wasting time watching reviews, it’s better to just buy them and try them yourself. After all, reviews are other people’s experiences. Only by buying them can you determine your own.”
Zhou Shichen: “…”
After a moment of speechlessness, she muttered, “Why do you make it sound like I’m writing a research paper?”
Yan Qi put the glass in the microwave and mused, “Someone has probably written a related paper, right? If not-”
Zhou Shichen: “Don’t tell me you’re going to write one!”
Yan Qi gave her a strange look. “I don’t sell these, nor do I research the products. Why would I write about this?”
Only then did Zhou Shichen breathe a sigh of relief.
She returned to the dining table, looked at her now-soggy noodles, and lost her appetite. She rubbed her stomach. “You have to treat me to a late-night snack!”
Yan Qi asked, “Why?”
“Why do you ask so many ‘whys’?” Zhou Shichen had a bunch of twisted logic but was too lazy to argue with Yan Qi. She threw out the easiest way to persuade her: “It’s still three hours until your bedtime. You have time to go out and eat with me.”
Yan Qi said, “Yes.”
Zhou Shichen added, “As the captain, if you can’t always solve your members’ problems, you can at least treat them to a meal to bond, right?”
Yan Qi deeply agreed. “That makes sense.”
Zhou Shichen said, “Then let’s go!”
Yan Qi slowly offered a suggestion from behind her. “I want to go somewhere quieter.”
Without turning her head, Zhou Shichen replied, “Okay!”
And so, that night, the two of them were spotted by a netizen at a food stall. According to the witness, Yan Qi seemed reluctant, but under Zhou Shichen’s persuasion, she still walked into the food stall’s… private room. It was a quiet spot amidst the noise, one could say.
Zhou Shichen later saw these posts on a forum, but she strongly disagreed with the claim that Yan Qi was reluctant. Yan Qi was clearly very satisfied with the environment—it was a quiet spot in a noisy place, and the food was delicious. Otherwise, why would she have had the presence of mind to watch her add all the recommended little toys to her shopping cart and pay for them at the dinner table?
After that, she even suggested that Zhou Shichen could buy some scented candles to enhance the atmosphere. Yan Qi was very serious at the time, saying she’d seen it in some erotic film.
Zhou Shichen was surprised. “You watch erotic films?”
Yan Qi said, “I watch any good work. I can recommend a few to you, too. You can watch them as… a substitute.”
Zhou Shichen was even more surprised. “You even know about substitutes?”
Yan Qi gave her a disapproving look. “My phone can also connect to the internet.”
Although Yan Qi didn’t browse much, unlike Zhou Shichen who surfed the web every day, she would occasionally scroll on her side account and see content Zhou Shichen reposted. It was said that fanfiction girls would just say “substitute” for everything they saw.
To make a recommendation, one had to suit the remedy to the case.
Sure enough, Zhou Shichen happily accepted her recommendation. For Yan Qi, the matter was closed. It also happened that filming for her drama wrapped up, so she flew to another city to record a variety show and was away for nearly half a month before she had time to return to the dorm.
Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi were there. The two were passionately in love, sticking to each other wherever they went, spreading PDA everywhere. When she pushed the door open, Xu Shuyan was pressing Lin Yi down on the sofa, kissing her. Hearing the sound, Lin Yi quickly pushed Xu Shuyan away, panting from the kiss, her voice escaping in broken gasps, “Some-someone’s here!”
Only then did Xu Shuyan sit up, lick her bright red lips, and smile at her. “Captain, you’re back?”
Lin Yi’s face was red, as if she’d been caught in an affair. She shot Xu Shuyan an annoyed, embarrassed glare, then hurriedly said, “Captain’s back, I’ll go get you a glass of water,” and slipped into the dining room.
Yan Qi, however, was calm. She pushed her suitcase in. “Just the two of you?”
Xu Shuyan took the hair tie from her wrist and tied up her long hair. “Shichen got back this afternoon. She said she needed to catch up on sleep and hasn’t come out yet. Probably still asleep.”
Only then did Yan Qi say, “And you two are still fooling around in the living room.”
Xu Shuyan raised an eyebrow. “I think if Shichen saw us, she’d definitely love it.”
Yan Qi: “…”
She had forgotten. Zhou Shichen wished the CPs she shipped would have sex right in front of her.
Xu Shuyan asked her, “Aren’t you going to your room?”
Yan Qi said, “Xiao Yi said she was going to get me water.”
She was waiting for the water.
Just as she finished speaking, Lin Yi came out of the dining room with a glass of water. It was a limited-edition Christmas mug that Zhou Shichen had bought, with a prominent white-bearded Santa Claus on it. She took the mug and said, “This is Shichen’s mug.”
Lin Yi went, “Ah? Is there a difference between the two mugs?”
Yan Qi said, “Mine has a reindeer on it.”
Lin Yi: “Ah, oh.”
As if remembering something, she winked at Yan Qi. “Are you two using couple’s mugs?”
“Buy one, get one half off.” Yan Qi pushed her suitcase toward the stairs. Before going up, she added, “Xu Shuyan, your girlfriend is making eyes at me.”
Xu Shuyan: “What?”
Lin Yi: “I did not! The Captain is spreading rumors! Don’t listen to her, I… Mmph!”
They were probably kissing again.
Yan Qi didn’t look back. Although it was her own room, she still knocked. Hearing no sound from inside, she figured Zhou Shichen was still asleep and pushed the door open.
The heavy curtains were drawn, and only a dim, reddish wall lamp was on. The air was filled with the faint, pleasant scent of incense, which, once you got used to it, seemed to blend into the air and seep into your skin.
Zhou Shichen was indeed still asleep.
She was lying on her side, half her face pressed into the pillow, bathed in the warm light. Her sleeping face looked very well-behaved. Yan Qi placed her suitcase by the door and moved quietly, but just as she reached the bedside, she saw Zhou Shichen open her eyes.
“…” Yan Qi said, “Sorry, I woke you.”
Zhou Shichen lazily shook her head and closed her eyes again, her voice soft and hoarse. “I was awake before you came in. I just didn’t want to get up. I’m lazing in bed.”
Zhou Shichen was usually boisterous and rarely quiet, except for when she first woke up. Yan Qi loved to watch Zhou Shichen just after she woke up—that process of going from languid to full of energy was like charging a battery, a rapid and fascinating transformation.
Before she could finish her observation, Zhou Shichen said, “You can turn on the light.”
Yan Qi paused for a moment. “…Okay.”
Light quickly filled the entire room. Yan Qi pushed her suitcase in and heard Zhou Shichen ask, “Unpacking your suitcase now again?”
Whenever Yan Qi traveled with a suitcase, the first thing she did upon returning was to put everything from the suitcase back in its proper place, then store the suitcase where it belonged—neatly and methodically.
Yan Qi laid the suitcase down and hung her clothes one by one in the walk-in closet. “Are you tired?”
Zhou Shichen rolled over in bed. “I was on a plane for over ten hours. Oh, right,” she said, as if remembering something, “I brought you a gift. A silk scarf from Chanel’s new season. It was really hard to get!”
Yan Qi said, “Thank you.”
After a pause, she took a gift box out of her suitcase. “I brought you a gift, too. It’s not very expensive, but I think you’ll like it.”
Zhou Shichen asked, “What is it?”
Yan Qi: “A dual ‘To:’ autograph from that foreign CP you ship.”
Zhou Shichen: “Wow! Captain, you’re the best! Thank you, Captain!”
Yan Qi placed the gift box on the floor. After waiting a moment and not seeing Zhou Shichen get out of bed, she looked over curiously. Their eyes met, and Zhou Shichen asked, “What’s wrong?”
Yan Qi stopped what she was doing. “According to your usual style, you would have already jumped out of bed excitedly and run downstairs to show off to Yanyan and Xiao Yi. But you haven’t moved this time. Have you stopped shipping them?”
Zhou Shichen said awkwardly, “I still ship them. It’s just that I’m going for a more ladylike image lately.”
Yan Qi narrowed her eyes. “Even more suspicious.”
“Alright.” Zhou Shichen confessed honestly, “It’s actually because I’m not wearing any pants. If you don’t mind me coming down with bare legs and just my panties on, I can be unrestrained.”
Yan Qi said, “Oh. I don’t mind.”
After saying that, she lowered her head to continue organizing her clothes, but her thoughts were more jumbled than before, like a tangled ball of yarn in her mind. She frowned, trying to find the end of the thread, when she heard the sound of the blanket being thrown back. Immediately, a fair, white foot landed on the wooden floor.
…Zhou Shichen really got out of bed with bare legs.
Yan Qi’s gaze uncontrollably followed the rounded toes to the slender ankle, then traveled up the long, straight, and fair legs, and then further up-
Yan Qi stopped herself.
She stood up and, as Zhou Shichen bent over to pick up the gift box, slipped into the closet to hang her clothes, sorting them by color and type. She heard the sound of the gift box being unwrapped, followed by a “wow” from Zhou Shichen.
She asked, “Do you like it?”
Zhou Shichen said, “I love it! I love it so much! I love you to death, Captain!”
As she spoke, she ran over and hugged her from behind, rubbing against her back randomly, sweet nothings pouring out of her mouth. “Captain, you’re so good, boo hoo hoo, I really can’t live without you! Captain! If you confessed to me right now, I’d say yes!”
Yan Qi’s body stiffened. She waited until Zhou Shichen was done with her crazy fit before asking slowly, “Really?”
Zhou Shichen naturally took it back on the spot. “Of course it’s fake! I’m straight!”
She fell onto the bed, hugging the autographed photo and kicking her legs in the air. “Oh my god, they actually signed it, and they even wrote their most classic romantic line to each other! Are they telling me they’re real? Don’t you think so, Captain!”
Yan Qi was noncommittal. “I guess so?”
Zhou Shichen was very dissatisfied with her answer, threw on a pair of pants, and ran out. Yan Qi figured she was going to show off to Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi, but then she heard a scream after Zhou Shichen left the room.
Yan Qi: “…”
Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi had been kissing for that long and still weren’t done?
If it were her, she would have come back by now. But Zhou Shichen, that head of the CP fan club, must have gone downstairs for a close-up view. She probably wouldn’t be back for a while.
Yan Qi put the suitcase away, closed the door to the walk-in closet, and glanced at the bed that Zhou Shichen had messed up.
After a moment’s hesitation, she couldn’t resist tidying it up for her.
Who knew that as soon as she lifted the blanket, something fell out, rolled across the floor, and stopped right at the edge of the rug. She tilted her head, finding it familiar. Just as she was trying to remember where she had seen it before, she suddenly heard the sound of hurried footsteps, accompanied by Zhou Shichen’s voice: “Captain, don’t tidy up my blank-”
Too late again.
Zhou Shichen looked at Yan Qi, who was standing by her bed holding the corner of the blanket. She followed Yan Qi’s gaze to the edge of the rug, and her heart turned to ash. Right now, she wanted to post on a social death forum-
Help! My roommate discovered my little toy!
Zhou Shichen was a social creature who never let herself get into an awkward situation. Or rather, no matter how awkward it was, she could always use her wits to resolve it.
Except for this time.
That night, the last wall lamp in the room was turned off, plunging it into deep darkness. The sound of steady breathing came from the other bed, but Zhou Shichen stared blankly at the ceiling, replaying that evening’s scene in her mind over and over.
Yan Qi had calmly put the blanket down, bent over to pick up the fallen object, and handed it to her. “I’m sorry.”
Zhou Shichen: “…………”
She really wanted to find a crack in the floor to crawl into and then dig her way out somewhere else. In any case, she never wanted to see Yan Qi again.
She had wanted to explain, but Yan Qi spoke first. “I know you’re doing reviews. Which number is this? If it’s good, remember to recommend it to me.”
Zhou Shichen was rendered completely speechless.
…How could she be speechless! How could she not say anything! How could she not follow up!
In the middle of the night, Zhou Shichen pounded the bed in regret, accidentally hitting the nightstand. She sucked in a sharp breath from the pain and sighed in frustration. Just as she was about to make up a story for herself to fall asleep to, her vision blurred for a second as the wall lamp turned on.
Zhou Shichen froze, then turned to meet Yan Qi’s clear and calm eyes.
Zhou Shichen: “…You’re not asleep?”
Yan Qi’s tone was also placid. “Couldn’t sleep.”
Zhou Shichen: “Insomnia?”
Yan Qi shook her head. She sat up, leaned against the headboard, and was quiet for a moment. “Can I ask you a question?”
Zhou Shichen replied without thinking, “Go ahead and ask.”
Then she realized. “You-you-you, you’re not going to ask me about that thing, are you?”
Yan Qi glanced at her.
Her eyes were filled with the words “You’re very smart.”
Zhou Shichen said helplessly, “What do you want to ask?”
Yan Qi said, “It might be a bit offensive.”
Zhou Shichen waved her hand. “It’s not offensive. If you want to ask which one is good and want a recommendation, I can only say you’re asking too early. I’ve only used it once, and I felt… nothing.”
Yan Qi: “Oh.”
She pondered, “Logically, that shouldn’t be the case.”
Seeing Yan Qi’s academic research-like expression, Zhou Shichen couldn’t help but laugh. “Why shouldn’t it be? Some people are just naturally not very sensitive, right? I read online that it’s normal.”
Yan Qi asked, “Could it be that the position was wrong?”
Zhou Shichen thought for a moment. “Maybe?”
Then she felt how absurd this was. Here she was, in the middle of the night, not sleeping, discussing positions with her captain and roommate, and so seriously at that, with absolutely no ambiguity!
This must be the frankness between straight girls!
With that thought, Zhou Shichen felt relieved. She recalled, “It could also be that the atmosphere wasn’t right. I don’t really know how to do it myself. Maybe I need some external stimulation?”
Yan Qi asked, “Watch a movie?”
Zhou Shichen shook her head. “I don’t like watching them.”
Yan Qi: “That makes it difficult.”
Zhou Shichen also sat up. “Maybe being touched by someone would work?”
Yan Qi: “Can’t you do it yourself?”
Zhou Shichen shook her head in frustration. “I’ve tried. I don’t feel anything. I heard from netizens that being touched by someone else can stimulate hormones more and get your adrenaline pumping.”
Yan Qi slowly nodded.
Zhou Shichen teased her, “You’re not really going to write a research paper, are you?”
Yan Qi shook her head again. “What if I were the one to touch you?”
Zhou Shichen: “?”
But Yan Qi was still completely serious. “You don’t have a boyfriend, and you don’t have anyone you like… right?”
Zhou Shichen shook her head.
“No one you like. And you can’t find anyone else to help you. I’m the closest person to you, and I’m willing to help. We can test whether being touched creates a sensation, to eliminate the wrong variables.” Yan Qi asked, “What do you think?”
Zhou Shichen thought… it was feasible.
Yan Qi sought her opinion. “Then, shall I try?”
Zhou Shichen asked, “Now?”
Yan Qi: “I can’t sleep. Are you sleepy?”
Zhou Shichen shook her head and scooted to the side. “Then come over and let’s try!”
Yan Qi had always been methodical, and she was the same in bed. With a serious expression, she straddled Zhou Shichen’s body, hesitated for a moment, and then grabbed the hem of Zhou Shichen’s shirt.
Her cool fingertips touched the hem of the shirt, causing a shiver. Zhou Shichen couldn’t help but flinch. Yan Qi observed her expression, not forgetting to ask for user feedback: “How does it feel?”
Zhou Shichen: “…”
It felt… very strange.
