Su Xu didn’t call Tan Yinqing, so of course Tan Xingwei was happy.
She was so happy, hahaha.
At first, she suppressed her happiness, laughing secretly inside. But unfortunately, they hit a red light after the intersection, and Su Xu turned to look at her after stopping the car.
For some reason, that glance struck a nerve, and Tan Xingwei couldn’t hold it in any longer, bursting into laughter.
Su Xu looked puzzled. “Hm?”
Tan Xingwei wasn’t about to explain, but she could squirm.
She wriggled around, singing along loudly to the music, changing the lyrics: “Eating barbecue, eating barbecue.”
Su Xu asked, “Hungry?”
Might as well be. Tan Xingwei went along with it. “Hungry,” she said, putting on a convincing act. “I didn’t have time for lunch, just had a piece of bread. So hungry.”
Su Xu said, “We’re almost there.”
Tan Xingwei suddenly remembered something. “It’s Friday, is that place busy? Should we get a number first?”
Su Xu: “I already got one.”
Tan Xingwei instantly let out a “wow.” “Big Sister Ah Xu, you’re so smart, so thoughtful.”
Su Xu chuckled.
Tan Xingwei was having a hard time controlling herself. The same song was still playing, and when it got to the line she had just mangled, she changed the words again, singing, “Big Sister Ah Xu, Big Sister Ah Xu.”
Su Xu was thoroughly amused.
They had gotten off work early, so it wasn’t peak time yet. The number Su Xu had gotten was perfect, and they smoothly entered the restaurant and sat down at a window seat.
As soon as they sat down, Su Xu started ordering. Before Tan Xingwei could even react, Su Xu had already placed the first order.
“What do you want to eat?” Su Xu handed her phone to Tan Xingwei. “Add more dishes, add drinks.”
The first order was for the starving Tan Xingwei, consisting only of filling meat. As Tan Xingwei scrolled down, she asked, “You didn’t order any drinks?”
Su Xu said, “You order for me.”
Tan Xingwei shamelessly felt happy again because of that sentence. She pursed her lips and added two of the restaurant’s delicious cold drinks, then asked, “Want some squid?”
Su Xu said, “Yes.”
Tan Xingwei: “How about button mushrooms?”
Su Xu: “Yes.”
Tan Xingwei: “Cheese.”
Su Xu: “Yes.”
Okay, okay, okay. Tan Xingwei added them all, then ordered a bowl of soup. Just then, a message suddenly popped up on the phone screen.
It was from their dorm group chat, sent by Tan Yinqing, asking: “What’s everyone up to!”
Tan Xingwei glanced up at Su Xu.
It was a quick, subconscious glance, but unexpectedly, Su Xu caught it.
“What’s wrong?” Su Xu asked.
The message timed out and disappeared. Tan Xingwei finished ordering what she wanted and handed the phone back to Su Xu. “Tan Yinqing sent a message in the group chat.”
Su Xu took the phone back and saw the message. Just then, the meat they ordered arrived at the table. Su Xu held up her phone and took a picture.
After Su Xu finished taking the photo, the waiter waiting by the table also sprang into action. The raw meat was placed on the grill, making a sizzling sound, and the aroma immediately wafted over.
Su Xu’s phone lit up again. She just leaned over to glance at it, then picked up a fresh lettuce leaf, dipped the freshly grilled meat in sauce, and placed it on top.
“They’re asking who I’m eating with.” Su Xu picked up a small green pepper.
Tan Xingwei looked at Su Xu through the smoke of the still-sizzling barbecue. “Are you going to reply?”
Su Xu: “Of course.”
Tan Xingwei asked, “What are you going to say?”
Su Xu wrapped the lettuce leaf and looked up. “Aren’t you hungry?”
Tan Xingwei stared at the food in Su Xu’s hand. “Hungry.”
Tan Xingwei was actually being quite restrained; she had only sent out a tiny signal. But things developed exactly as she had hoped. Su Xu reached over and brought the meat to Tan Xingwei’s lips.
Tan Xingwei opened her mouth and ate it.
Su Xu picked up another fresh lettuce leaf.
Having gotten her way, Tan Xingwei teased, “No way, no way. Is Big Sister Ah Xu going to feed me the whole time?”
Su Xu smiled. “Sure, if you tie your hands up.”
“Playing like th—” Tan Xingwei almost blurted it out, but she quickly stopped herself and changed the subject. “I knew it. Big Sister Ah Xu is the best sister in the world.”
Big Sister Ah Xu just smiled and continued wrapping the barbecue, seemingly immune to Tan Xingwei’s type of attack.
Of course, Tan Xingwei wasn’t idle either. She ladled soup for Big Sister Ah Xu.
After ladling it and placing it by her, the screen next to Su Xu’s hand lit up again. This time, Su Xu unlocked her phone, tapped out a few words, and then placed it face down on the table.
Tan Xingwei was naturally curious. “Did you reply?”
Su Xu: “Mhm.”
Tan Xingwei leaned forward slightly. “What did you say?”
Su Xu unhurriedly dipped her food in sauce. “I said I’m with a little sister.”
For a moment, Tan Xingwei felt like she was being flirted with, but because it was Su Xu, that feeling quickly vanished.
Su Xu’s second piece of barbecue was naturally fed into Tan Xingwei’s mouth again. If Tan Yinqing were here, would this grand occasion even be possible?
Of course, Tan Xingwei didn’t have the nerve to let Su Xu serve her the whole time. After two pieces, she offered a few more flattering words, and then they both started eating on their own.
It was now dinnertime, and the restaurant was getting more crowded and lively. The owner had even interspersed some small performances to attract customers.
After she was half-full, Tan Xingwei’s thoughts began to wander. She and Su Xu hadn’t sat and eaten together like this in four years. After four years of university, her mindset was naturally different from when she had just graduated high school, not to mention the older sister across from her who had gone abroad right after graduating from university.
But it was as if time had been deleted with a single click in an editing software. Their today wasn’t much different from their yesterday four years ago. They still ate like this, and their meals were still this quiet.
Su Xu clearly still saw her as the same young kid who had just become an adult. Tan Xingwei didn’t know if this sense of familiarity was a good or bad thing.
Perhaps just a few months ago, Tan Xingwei had suddenly thought of Su Xu again. She didn’t stop herself from fantasizing, wondering what the atmosphere between them would be like if they suddenly met one day.
In her imagination, they had grown distant. Not knowing what to talk about with Su Xu, Tan Xingwei could only wear a smile on her face, the awkward atmosphere palpable. Each of them would weigh their next words in their minds, wondering whether they should say them or not.
Tan Xingwei found that she actually preferred the imagined version of them. She thought that if there was a rift between her and Su Xu, their story wouldn’t be a continuation of the past, would it? Maybe there could be a new beginning.
But soon, she felt she was overthinking it. What was she really hoping for? Wasn’t the way things were now very good?
Lost in thought, she couldn’t help but eat a little more. Although she and Su Xu were both tall and slim, they could eat quite a lot. During their very first meal together a long time ago, they discovered that they both fought until the very end, still stuffing food into their mouths, a hint of mutual appreciation and regret for not meeting sooner in their eyes. Later, when they ate alone, they would generously order whatever they wanted, with no such thing as waste.
The dishes on the table were gradually cleared. As they were finishing up, Tan Xingwei received a message from Tan Yinqing.
A voice message, too lazy to type: “Are you coming back tonight?”
Tan Xingwei replied with a text: “What’s up?”
Tan Yinqing: “If you’re coming back, bring me a piece of taro paste cake from Sidelong.”
Tan Yinqing: 【Sidelong Address】
Tan Yinqing: “Thanks.”
Tan Xingwei tapped the location to check it, then pressed the voice message button. “It’s not on the way. You’re welcome.”
The restaurant was noisy, so Tan Xingwei had the volume turned up high. Su Xu naturally heard it too.
“Where is it? I can give you a ride,” Su Xu said.
Tan Xingwei shook her head. “No need, it’s pretty far.” She opened an app on her phone. “I’ll just order a delivery service.”
Su Xu started to laugh.
Tan Xingwei knew what Su Xu was laughing about. She shrugged. “Can’t be helped. She’s my own sister, gotta spoil her.”
Su Xu took a sip of her drink. “You and your sister are quite interesting.”
Tan Xingwei looked down, operating her phone. “Really.”
Su Xu: “Yes.”
Tan Xingwei raised her eyes slightly. “Are you trying to say we bicker a lot?”
“I guess so,” Su Xu said. “At first, I thought you two had a terrible relationship.”
Tan Xingwei laughed. “A lot of people who don’t know us well think that.”
“And you don’t call her ‘sister.’ You call her by her full name.” Su Xu imitated her. “Big Sister Ah Xu, Sister Chen Jing, Sister Yaoyao, Tan Yinqing.”
Tan Xingwei burst out laughing with a “pfft.” “That’s true,” she said, “but she also calls me by my full name. Everyone else calls me by my nickname.”
Su Xu nodded. “It’s very special.”
“I don’t know about other sisters…” She paused. “Actually, our relationship is considered good now. It used to be worse.”
Su Xu asked, “How so?”
Tan Xingwei wanted to talk more about it, but after some thought, she asked first, “Has my sister ever talked about our family?”
Su Xu thought for a moment. “Not much. She said she was raised by her grandmother, until…”
“Third grade,” Tan Xingwei added. “She was brought to live with my parents.”
“Right,” Su Xu nodded. “She also said she has a very beautiful, obedient, sensible, smart, kind, and cute younger sister.”
Tan Xingwei wanted to laugh but also felt embarrassed. “Did she say that, or did you?”
Su Xu smiled without answering.
Tan Xingwei answered for herself, “It’s good enough that she didn’t call me annoying, troublesome, and argumentative.”
Su Xu: “No, she didn’t. In front of us, your sister’s descriptions of you are very positive, pretty much along the lines of what I just said.”
Tan Xingwei huffed. “I am her sister, after all.”
Su Xu: “So she has to spoil you.”
The word “spoil” applied to Tan Yinqing, and Tan Yinqing’s treatment of Tan Xingwei, made Tan Xingwei quickly exclaim with a shiver, “I can’t take it, I’m getting goosebumps.”
Su Xu laughed. “Isn’t she?”
Tan Xingwei: “She is pretty good to me.” Tan Xingwei thought for a moment again. “How should I put it.”
“When I was in middle school, I was in the first year, and she was in her second year of high school. We had an epic argument.”
Tan Xingwei said, “There was a bag of snacks at home with only peach and blueberry flavors left. I wanted the peach one, and so did she. We fought over it for a while, neither of us winning. My mom came out and said, ‘Yinqing, let your little sister have it.'” At this point, Tan Xingwei grew quiet.
Her mood couldn’t help but become heavy.
At that moment, Tan Yinqing suddenly let go, forcefully snatched the peach-flavored snack, and stood tall, looking down at Tan Xingwei, and said.
“Ever since we were little, they’ve always told me to give in to you. Everyone tells me, ‘Your sister is younger, you’re the older sister, you have to let her have her way.’ Why! Why! Have I enjoyed anything more than you? In the four years that I’m older than you, did I have four more years of a good life than you? You were a princess by our parents’ side from the moment you were born. I was only brought back in the third grade and had to live by watching your moods, watching our parents revolve around you every day. Am I an adopted child? The older sister has to be sensible. The older sister has to take care of the younger sister. Is it the older sister’s fate to suffer? You’re a child, but am I not one too?”
After saying that, Tan Yinqing threw the bag of snacks she had snatched at Tan Xingwei’s face and turned to walk towards the door.
The door was slammed shut loudly, and the living room instantly fell silent. Tan Xingwei sat on the floor, somewhat stunned, and met her mother’s gaze from the sofa. Neither of them knew what to say.
In that instant, Tan Xingwei felt incredibly guilty. She felt that every word her sister said was right, so right. What made her feel even more guilty was that every time she enjoyed something her sister gave up for her, she actually felt it was what she deserved, because she was the younger sister, and the older sister was supposed to give in to the younger sister.
She didn’t know how long she thought about it that day. She didn’t stay in the living room but went back to her room. It seemed like she cried, but also like she didn’t. Her heart was so heavy that she lost track of time, only feeling that she had been so awful, so awful, and that her sister was so pitiful. Her sister must have felt so wronged. Who wouldn’t feel wronged in that situation? If a sister four years younger than Tan Xingwei came to her house now and she had to give her favorite things to this sister, she would blow up the house and not let anyone have anything.
So she understood Tan Yinqing very well, and because of that, she didn’t dare to contact Tan Yinqing. She just bought a lot of peach-flavored things and left them at the door of Tan Yinqing’s room.
Tan Yinqing came home very late that day. Hearing a noise in the living room, Tan Xingwei quickly ran to her door and opened a crack.
Outside, Tan Yinqing walked back to her room with a heavy expression. When she reached her door, she glanced at the bag of snacks hanging on the doorknob, grabbed it without a second look, and threw it on the floor.
The snacks in the bag spilled out. Seeing Tan Yinqing turn her head, Tan Xingwei quickly closed the door.
The sounds from outside were suddenly cut off. Tan Xingwei pressed her ear against the door but couldn’t hear anything. Just as she was about to open the door again, she heard a knock.
Tan Xingwei tensed up instantly. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
Standing at the door was Tan Yinqing, expressionless. She was holding the bag of snacks, which she had already cleaned up, her face stern. She stared intently at Tan Xingwei and said coldly, “I’m sorry.”
Tan Xingwei’s brow furrowed at once, and the tension in her nerves instantly released.
If Tan Yinqing had come over and punched her, she wouldn’t have been this shaken. But at this apology, Tan Xingwei couldn’t hold it together anymore and burst out crying with a “wah.”
Then, with a “What the hell are you crying for,” Tan Yinqing started crying along with Tan Xingwei.
Thinking of this, Tan Xingwei’s nose also started to tingle. She hadn’t told Su Xu the whole story, only that she and Tan Yinqing had a big fight, so from Su Xu’s perspective, it must have seemed very strange.
But Su Xu didn’t say anything. She just pulled out a tissue and handed it to Tan Xingwei.
The tears that Tan Xingwei had almost managed to hold back started flowing again. She sobbed, “Is it too late to ask her to come out and eat now?”
Su Xu was amused by Tan Xingwei.
Tan Xingwei pressed the tissue Su Xu gave her to her eyes.
Haha, just kidding.
I’m not calling her.
