Su Xu sent Tan Xingwei a photo of the little rabbit and thanked her.
Su Xu also posted the same photo to her Moments with the caption: “Thank you, Little Sister Xingxing, for the cute bunny.”
The day of Su Xu’s departure abroad drew nearer. She resigned from her company and returned to her hometown to stay with her parents for a few days.
She returned to Haicheng on the weekend. The four roommates had arranged to have a meal, and Tan Yinqing brought Tan Xingwei along.
In reality, it had only been a little over a week without Tan Xingwei in her life, but looking at her now, Su Xu felt a sense of both strangeness and familiarity.
Tan Xingwei didn’t seem to feel the same way. She was just as she had always been, calling out sweetly and cheerfully the moment she saw Su Xu: “Big Sister Ah Xu.”
She even complained that Tan Yinqing was too slow and ran ahead, affectionately taking Su Xu’s wrist. She said, “So your hometown is in T County! I have a good friend from T County too, and she says the bayberries there are delicious.”
Su Xu nodded in agreement and said, “They’re out of season now. Next bayberry season, I’ll send you some.”
Tan Xingwei said, “Okay, okay!”
That day, Tan Xingwei sat beside Su Xu again. She was very lively and constantly bickered with Tan Yinqing.
In front of her, Tan Xingwei was very different, very well-behaved.
They ate until the hotpot spread that had covered the entire table was completely cleared, chatting and laughing all the while. Chen Jing asked Su Xu, “You’re going abroad next Friday, right?”
Su Xu hummed in agreement. “Let’s all have dinner together on Thursday night.” She then said to Tan Xingwei, “You come too.”
Tan Xingwei said okay.
Tan Xingwei said, “Big Sister Ah Xu, we have to keep in touch after you go abroad. Show me the United Kingdom, and show me you in the United Kingdom.”
Su Xu also said okay.
As the day of her departure drew closer, many friends wanted to have a meal with Su Xu before she left. Su Xu decided to just gather everyone together at once.
The night before she left was very lively. She received many well wishes and many gifts.
Tan Xingwei blended into the crowd. Because there were so many friends, she didn’t get to talk much with Su Xu that night. In the end, she followed Tan Yinqing, wished Su Xu success in her studies and a smooth journey, gave her a delicate, carved wooden bookmark, and left without saying much else.
After the party ended, Tan Xingwei left with Tan Yinqing, disappearing quickly. Su Xu finished tidying up and left as well.
Su Xu’s parents were seeing her off at the airport the next day and had arrived in Haicheng that afternoon. Su Xu left the restaurant and went home.
Returning to a quiet place from such a lively scene created a sense of disconnect. Coupled with the fact that she was leaving for a foreign country the next day, Su Xu found it difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of her somber mood.
She unwrapped the gifts from her friends, thanking them on WeChat.
Just as she was taking her phone out of her bag, something that didn’t belong to her fell out.
It was a note. It read, “Come to the little garden out back when it’s over. I have something to tell you.”
There was no signature, but Su Xu knew the answer instantly.
To be sure, Su Xu took out the note that had come with the little rabbit. It was easy to tell that it was from Tan Xingwei.
Su Xu immediately headed for the door, but as she stood at the elevator watching the numbers slowly ascend, she turned back.
Back inside, she called Tan Yinqing to ask if Tan Xingwei was home yet. After receiving a negative answer, she mentioned how it was unsafe for a girl to be out alone at night, urging Tan Yinqing to confirm Tan Xingwei’s safety.
Finally, after a few inquiries, Tan Yinqing told Su Xu that Tan Xingwei was home and not to worry.
That night, Su Xu couldn’t fall asleep easily. The little rabbit lay beside her pillow. She didn’t know if she had done the right thing.
The next day, the family went to the airport as planned. They hugged, parted, and said their goodbyes at the security checkpoint.
Just as she was about to board, Su Xu received a message from Tan Xingwei.
Tan Xingwei asked: 【Big Sister Ah Xu, did you find anything extra in your bag?】
Su Xu took a light breath, walked a couple of steps with the line, then took out her phone again and replied: 【I know it was you】
A moment later, Tan Xingwei sent: 【Was it fun?】
Su Xu’s somber mood deepened. She replied: 【Not fun】
Su Xu continued walking with the crowd, boarded the plane, stowed her luggage, and took her seat.
She took out her phone again and slowly typed out three words, “I’m sorry.”
She hit the blue send key, only to be stopped by a red exclamation mark.
Su Xu seemed to freeze. She stared at the screen, and it took several seconds for the meaning to sink in.
She took a deep breath, put on her eye mask, and closed her eyes.
Everything that followed went according to Su Xu’s plan. She studied hard, lived well, and posted all the non-repetitive moments of her life to her Moments.
The following year, when she heard the bayberries back home were ripe, she sent some to Tan Yinqing.
But there was no more news from Tan Xingwei. The person who had said they must keep in touch had put her on her block list.
Her days in the United Kingdom were busy. There was much to learn and many papers to write.
Occasionally, she would think of Tan Xingwei, the one who was always so lively in her presence, always calling her “Big Sister Ah Xu.”
She would remember watching TV with Tan Xingwei, the way she would stroke her chin and guess the plot. She would remember Tan Xingwei, unable to sleep, pulling her into a debate about whether the cause or the effect came first. She would remember a drunk Tan Xingwei grabbing her and saying, “You can see me as a little sister, but you can’t see me as just a little sister.” She would remember taking photos of Tan Xingwei after getting her camera, and the way she would strike dramatic poses.
On a whim, she once set a photo of Tan Xingwei as her screen saver, but it was quickly noticed.
“Su, who is this?”
When Nan Shan leaned over, Su Xu realized she had been spacing out for a moment.
Su Xu looked at the screen, at the photo of Tan Xingwei laughing heartily while leaning against the hallway in Su Xu’s home. She first said, “Star,” then added in Chinese, “A female celebrity.”
Nan Shan nodded as if she understood. “She’s so beautiful,” she said, then asked, “Is she very famous?”
Su Xu didn’t answer the question. Instead, she said, “A few days ago, didn’t you ask who could capture my heart?”
Nan Shan’s eyes widened with curiosity. “Who?”
Su Xu just smiled. “Let’s go. Time for class.”
Her studies in the United Kingdom went smoothly, and she found a job quickly. After graduating, she returned to her home country for a visit but soon went back to continue working and stay busy.
But Su Xu never fully grew accustomed to living in a foreign land. Due to various factors, she ultimately decided to return home for good.
She never really had the habit of posting on her Moments, but she figured she could make an exception to commemorate her last time.
She took a photo of the sunset and wrote a few words. To her surprise, after she posted it, a star symbol suddenly appeared in the ‘likes’ section.
Su Xu was aware of the time difference back home; Tan Xingwei wasn’t asleep yet.
Su Xu didn’t know when she had been unblocked, but she knew that the block list and Moments access were two different matters.
Su Xu’s joy about returning home seemed to intensify. She opened her chat with Tan Xingwei and asked her why she was still awake.
The younger girl still seemed to be angry, or perhaps they had just grown distant. Her words were cold. She asked if Su Xu was returning the next day, then said it was late and she was going to sleep. Good night.
She didn’t send any stickers, nor did she call her Big Sister Ah Xu.
On the plane, Su Xu’s thoughts drifted back to the past again. She remembered Tan Xingwei imitating the expressions of characters from TV shows, and she remembered Tan Xingwei once saying she would pick her up from the airport when she returned.
Of course, Su Xu thought that was impossible, so she didn’t dwell on it.
The plane landed safely. The moment her phone got a signal, a message from Tan Xingwei popped up in the roommate group chat, saying she was coming to pick her up.
Su Xu could tell it was a joke, but she still felt a small stir of emotion.
And as she walked out, she found herself seriously, carefully scanning the crowd.
Spotting Tan Xingwei was almost instantaneous. She was so beautiful, she had always stood out.
Even buried in the crowd, even as she seemed to be trying to hide.
In the next instant, Su Xu averted her gaze. She pretended to be looking for directions, her eyes scanning the overhead signs, deliberately sweeping past Tan Xingwei.
A certain someone holding flowers was still trying to hide in the crowd. When the person in front of her moved, she hastily found someone else to hide behind.
It was hard to suppress a laugh, and difficult to keep a straight face. Su Xu didn’t know what game Tan Xingwei was playing, yet she felt like she understood. She continued on her path toward the airport exit.
And slowly, she walked past Tan Xingwei.
Tan Xingwei stopped moving. She only watched Su Xu.
For every few steps Su Xu took, Tan Xingwei would turn just a little. Even with just her peripheral vision, Su Xu could feel Tan Xingwei’s scorching gaze.
Su Xu counted in her head.
3.
2.
1.
She stopped, turned around precisely, and looked directly at Tan Xingwei.
Little Sister Xingxing, long time no see.
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