ATHO Chapter 44

Chapter 44 – Lien: The First Life (Part 2)

Lien: The First Life, Part 2

Novel Title: 嫌われ者の俺はやり直しの世界で義弟達にごまをする (As the Hated One, I Flatter My Stepbrothers in a World Where I Get a Second Chance)

Author：赤牙 (Akakiba)

Art：古澤エノ (Furusawa Eno)

Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)

Protagonists: シャルル (Charles -MC), リエン (Lien -ML1) & ジェイド (Jade -ML2)

*Please read at novels.space, the original site of translation. TQ*

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The image of Charles’s anguished, twisted face resurfaced in my mind, filling me with guilt.  

No… no… It wasn’t our fault… Charles was the one to blame.  

I repeated those words over and over in my heart as I reached out for Tiana’s warmth once more.  

Her pale blue eyes reflected my face.  

By the time I left Tiana, the night had turned to dawn, and the sun was rising.  

Still haunted by lingering thoughts of Charles, I sighed in exasperation as I returned to the mansion, only to find that Jade was nowhere to be seen.  

When Jade finally returned some time later, he seemed… off.  

“Welcome back, Nii-sama. Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?”  

When I asked, Jade looked at me with vacant eyes.  

“Charles is dead.”  

The sudden announcement left me speechless. If Tiana hadn’t said what she did, I probably would have laughed and said, “Good riddance.”  

But now, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything like that.  

“I see…”  

I managed to squeeze out a response, and Jade, without another word, retreated to his room.  

And just like that, our happy life came to an end.  

Jade’s mental state began to deteriorate, little by little.  

No matter how much I tried to support him, I couldn’t see myself reflected in his eyes.  

He didn’t lean on me for comfort but instead sought solace in alcohol.  

And me? I sought to fill the void in my heart by throwing myself at anyone—man or woman—who would give me warmth and attention.  

Of course, living like that came with consequences.  

“Ugh… damn it… This is the worst…”  

Looking up at the snowy night sky, I let out a heavy sigh.  

It had happened earlier. A man, probably someone connected to one of my previous escapades, had ambushed me in the street. He dragged me into a carriage and repeatedly struck me until we arrived at an isolated forest.  

The man, muttering curses, straddled my limp body and raised a knife.  

Overwhelmed by pain and fear, I couldn’t even resist. Satisfied after venting his rage, the man finally left me lying there and disappeared into the cold night.  

So, this is how I’ll die…  

Unable to muster the strength to move, I lay in the snow, memories of my life flashing through my mind.  

Looking back, my life has been full of hardship.  

The only truly happy times were the moments I spent with Mother and Jade.  

I clung to those precious memories, one by one.  

I don’t want to leave Jade behind…  

And yet, the next face that surfaced in my mind was Charles’s.  

Why am I thinking of him now?  

All of my memories of him are awful—there’s nothing good about them.  

But… there are two memories of Charles that I cherish.  

One was the time we forced him to kneel and grovel.  

The other… was the one time I saw him cry, back when I first arrived at the estate.  

Just as I was about to leave, I heard a soft sobbing from inside the room. I couldn’t resist and took a peek…

Charles was standing before a portrait, tears streaming down his face. His crying expression at that moment was so beautiful, so fragile, that I found myself captivated.

But afterward, when he caught me peeking, he got really angry.

The image of Charles crying, his pale blue eyes shimmering with tears, was… adorable.

Thinking about it now, I couldn’t help but chuckle. The laughter made my wounds ache, but at this point, I didn’t care anymore.

The cold was dulling the sensation in my hands and feet, and the snow around me had turned a deep crimson from my blood.

I would die soon. When I did, would I end up in hell and meet Charles there?

What if I really did meet him? Should I take the chance to torment him this time? What kind of face would Charles make if Jade and I bullied him together? Would he cry again?

As I imagined myself tormenting Charles, a slow, sinister smile crept onto my face.

The pain from the stabbing and the biting cold faded from my mind as I got lost in that absurd fantasy. It amused me so much that I couldn’t stop laughing.

But… what if Charles had been kind to us? What if the three of us could have lived together in harmony?

When I tried imagining it, I realized… whether my life had been happy or miserable seemed to depend entirely on Charles.

“So… I guess my unhappiness is all Charles’s fault after all.”

In the deserted forest, blanketed in falling snow, only the sound of my laughter echoed.

***

…

……

When I woke up, chilled to the core and with a dull ache in my side, I found myself surrounded by a familiar sight.

As I drew in a sharp breath, the icy air seemed to freeze my lungs. Just breathing was painful. With trembling hands, I pulled back the blanket and looked at my body. There wasn’t a single drop of blood.

“Ha… incredible…”

Still shivering uncontrollably, I wrapped myself in the blanket to warm up.

A dream like that… I could hardly keep it in my memory.

It was the ‘first life’ Charles had talked about. My whole body rejected the memory of the dream I had just experienced.

I couldn’t remember it. More than that, Charles could never find out about it.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. Morning came as I lay curled up in my blanket. Summoning what strength I had, I got up and headed straight for Charles’s room.

“Nii-sama!”

“Hm? What’s wrong, Lien?”

The sight of Charles preparing for the day overwhelmed me, and I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly.

“Wha—what’s this? Did something happen?”

“…I just… remembered something painful. Sorry, Nii-sama. I’m still so needy, even as an adult…”

Charles gently patted my back, his touch comforting.

“Don’t worry about it. Just the other day, Jade came to my room in the middle of the night, saying he’d had a scary dream.”

Charles chuckled softly.

Jade must have seen his version of the ‘first life’ dream that night…

When I took a deep breath, held close by Charles, the anxiety slowly melted away. Before long, Jade entered the room, finding me clinging to Charles like a child. He looked at me with exasperation.

After breakfast, we began preparing for the day’s inspections. As we waited for Charles, I decided to tell Jade about my dream. When I mentioned seeing my ‘first life’ dream, Jade looked puzzled.

“Lien, what do you mean by a ‘first life’ dream?”

“Huh? You said you had one just the other day, didn’t you, Nii-sama?”

“No… I don’t remember dreaming any such thing.”

Jade’s expression was serious; he genuinely seemed to have forgotten the dream.

“Dream memories fade quickly…” I recalled Jade’s earlier words.

“So, in our first lives, what were we like? Did we really do terrible things like Charles Nii-san said?”

Seeing the anxiety on Jade’s face, I couldn’t bring myself to recount the tragic ending we had in that life.

“Hm… I was going to tell you, but I guess I’ve already forgotten,” I said with a forced laugh, brushing it off.

Charles arrived just then.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. …What’s wrong? You both look a bit down.”

“It’s nothing, Nii-sama. Come on, let’s go to the inspections.”

Charles and Jade both looked like they wanted to say something more, but I knew nothing good would come from talking about the dream. 

The three of us were alive and happy now. That was enough. That was all that mattered.

With a practiced smile, I wished for the nightmare’s memory to disappear.

And like sealing Pandora’s box, I locked away the memories of that dream.

Never to be opened again. 

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*Translator’s Note: Yes. Let’s leave the memories in the past. But thank you, Author-sama for still letting us glimpse into Jade’s and Lien’s perspectives after Charles’ death. -K

*GLOSSARY: 

• Nii-san/Nii-sama/Onii-san = (Big/Elder) Brother

☝🏻I’ll be using these throughout my translation. Jade would call Charles ‘Nii-san’ while Lien would call him ‘Nii-sama’.

Next update: 2025.10.07

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