Chapter 16: Don’t Touch Me
System: What the hell is this perverted green-haired turtle?!
Rong Ziyin studied the turtle for a moment before adding: Not just any green-haired turtle—it’s a green-haired old turtle.
[Gossip Money Turtle Resistance +2000]
So this turtle can actually hear my mental conversations with the System!
Rong Ziyin sensed something amiss and quickly opened the turtle’s attributes for a look.
SR: Bagua Money Turtle, scientific name Tristripe Box Turtle. Every part is a treasure, exceptionally rare. The darling of the God of Wealth. Its golden shell symbolizes wealth and prosperity. Their long lifespans grant them profound peace and boundless wisdom. There is nothing in this world unknown to them. Keeping one nearby attracts riches and treasures.
System: Holy crap! This turtle is so useful! Host, ask it something!
The System originally intended for Rong Ziyin to inquire about methods to earn money.
Yet after staring at the Money Turtle for ages, Rong Ziyin asked, “When do you think I’ll become rich?”
Money Turtle: “…”
Is that really so hard to answer?
Rong Ziyin pondered, then posed another question: “When do you think I’ll draw another SSR card?”
Money Turtle: “…”
Still no clue? Not wanting to push it further, Rong Ziyin picked a less pressing question: “Do you know tomorrow night’s lottery winning numbers?”
“…” The Money Turtle retreated completely, turning its back to Rong Ziyin as it retracted its head and limbs into its shell.
Simultaneously, Rong Ziyin received a system notification: [Collapse Value from Money Turtle: 1000]
Rong Ziyin sighed, patting the turtle shell. “If you don’t know, you don’t know. At your age, such emotional ups and downs aren’t good for your health.”
[Golden Money Turtle Breakdown Value: 1000]
System: “Rong, I beg you, just keep quiet for once!”
Rong Ziyin: “Fine.”
Then Rong Ziyin retrieved the basket that had previously held salted duck eggs and salted fish, placing the salted duck eggs and salted fish extracted by the system back into the container.
Rong Ziyin was actually a bit overly rigid and meticulous. Back when possessions were scarce, the System had merely thought him unusually neat and efficient for a man, insisting every item be arranged perfectly. But now, these two hundred and ninety-nine salted duck eggs and dried fish truly revealed his nature.
The basket of salted duck eggs was manageable—after all, eggs could only be arranged in so many ways. But those salted fish? That was taking it too far!
Over fifty of them, lined up in the basket like they were queuing. Over a hundred dead fish eyes staring right at you—it genuinely made your balls ache within minutes.
The golden-spotted softshell turtle, already driven to the brink by Rong Ziyin’s relentless questioning, had now retreated sadly into its shell.
The system cautiously reminded Rong Ziyin, “Host, have you considered the feelings of the other creatures in the room?”
Rong Ziyin pondered, “Well, since the salted duck eggs and fish are already out, should I just put it back in the system space?”
System: “I think that’s fine.” But just as Rong Ziyin was about to retrieve it, the System prompted him again, “Host, how about petting it before putting it away? Isn’t it supposed to bring wealth and treasure?”
Rong Ziyin realized that made sense. So he crouched beside the money turtle and negotiated.
Rong Ziyin: Can I pet you?
Money Turtle: Get lost! Don’t touch me!
[Resistance Value 2000]
System: …
In the end, Rong Ziyin didn’t push the turtle further and let it enter the storage space on its own.
Rong Ziyin: “Logically, this kind of money turtle shouldn’t like stuffy places, right?”
System (inner voice): Please be a little more clued in. Don’t you know why it’s withdrawn?
Yet Rong Ziyin genuinely didn’t know. Not only that, he had no intention of keeping this money turtle at all.
Upon realizing Rong Ziyin’s plan, the System was utterly stunned!
It couldn’t fathom what Rong Ziyin was thinking.
Logically speaking, money turtles are currently the most valuable pet turtles on the market. And precisely because of their legendary ability to attract wealth and treasure, many executives who value feng shui love to keep one.
A specimen like the one Rong Ziyin drew—excellent quality and advanced age—is practically priceless. Someone would pay over a hundred thousand for it.
True, Rong Ziyin and this money turtle just don’t get along. But if they don’t get along, he could just keep it in the system space!
Rong Ziyin: “No way. Keeping a turtle like this is bad for its health. Long periods without sunlight will make it weak and prone to illness, leading to an early death. Plus, with how much it dislikes me, attracting wealth seems pretty unlikely.”
System: “How about we sell it?”
Items obtained through the Heavenly Path lottery can be freely traded on the market. Rong Ziyin’s hopelessly clueless vibe has already scared off the money-attracting turtle, making peaceful coexistence impossible.
You must understand that in feng shui, both koi and turtles carry specific symbolism. Forcing them to coexist when they cannot coexist invites backlash.
Therefore, the best course for Rong Ziyin now is to sell it.
Moreover, since this money turtle originates from the Heavenly Path, the Heavenly Path will naturally cover its provenance, preventing Rong Ziyin from arousing suspicion and attracting unnecessary trouble.
Yet Rong Ziyin doesn’t see it that way. Firstly, the money turtle species itself imposes special requirements on its keeper—it’s not something anyone can casually raise. It’s a nationally protected species of Class II.
Second, even if he sold it to those people and they obtained the breeding permit, it still wouldn’t be obtained through legitimate means. In a sense, it would be a different kind of illegality.
In Rong Ziyin’s view, any act crossing legal boundaries—even if Heaven’s Way might compensate for it—could never be flawless. It might deceive the unwary, but those intent on uncovering the truth would still find the smallest crack.
Crucially, this golden coin turtle held staggering value. It wasn’t ordinary gold or jewels circulating freely. It was priceless—one family possessed it, a hundred coveted it. After the frenzy came the inevitable backlash.
Rong Ziyin understood that with his current debt to shady lenders hanging over him, he couldn’t afford any more trouble.
Therefore, if the bowl was too small, one shouldn’t covet too much rice. Keeping a low profile was far better than drawing unwanted attention.
He carried the system within him. Even if Heaven would eventually balance the scales of karma, he had to be fully prepared. What if someone discovered it?
Possessing a treasure invites guilt. Rong Ziyin had to protect himself wisely and act with utmost caution.
System: What should we do then?!
After hearing Rong Ziyin’s thoughts, the System felt deeply anxious. In its earlier excitement, it had overlooked Rong Ziyin’s precarious situation.
Indeed, “possessing a treasure invites blame”—those four words sounded cowardly, yet they captured the bitter reality of the common man’s plight.
Life wasn’t a daydream filled with superheroes capable of flying through the skies. If Rong Ziyin’s abilities became too extraordinary, the most likely outcome would be being sent to a research center for human experimentation.
Perhaps if it had a different host, the system wouldn’t have cared about these details. But Rong Ziyin was different. He was a real-life unlucky bastard. Anyone else could gamble on luck, but not Rong Ziyin!
The system’s mood suddenly sank.
Rong Ziyin, however, remained calm: “No worries. I’ll look into suitable places near Yanjing for him over the next couple of days. Let him choose which zoo or wildlife reserve he likes best.”
System: “Zoo???”
Rong Ziyin: “Exactly! When you can’t make up your mind, isn’t handing it over to the state the best solution?”
After all, it was an SR card that took five hundred pulls to obtain. Though ill-timed, Rong Ziyin was determined to make it worth the investment.
In China, discovering protected animals and turning them over to the state usually came with a reward. Rong Ziyin guessed it wouldn’t be less than ten thousand. If that were the case, a significant portion of the funds needed for publishing the paper would be covered. As for the rest, there were still salted duck eggs and salted fish!
Moreover, once the system unlocked future exchanges, all N-grade items could be freely used with gold coins. That would open up even more possibilities for Rong Ziyin. Taking things step by step, laying a solid foundation was paramount. That’s why Rong Ziyin never rushed.
The system agreed with his reasoning and finally relaxed. But upon reflection, they still needed to scrape together another 600,000 gold coins!
It urged Rong Ziyin again, “Host, hurry up and finish those remaining entries on Zhihu! That’s how you earn more gold coins!”
Rong Ziyin froze. “But I’ve already written them all! What else is there to write?”
System: “???? There’s no ending!”
“What happened to the rich kid later?”
“Did the top student pull off the comeback?”
“You didn’t write any of that!”
“Of course not!” Rong Ziyin argued passionately, “Because those things haven’t happened yet! How would I know how they turn out?”
“Holy crap! You’re gonna get beaten to death!” The System immediately lit a candle for Rong Ziyin, imagining the resentment points waiting online from readers craving the ending.
“It shouldn’t be that bad!” Rong Ziyin remained optimistic.
He opened his Zhihu article and was instantly buried under a flood of comments demanding updates.
“Please update, author!”
“Waaah, I’ve been refreshing all afternoon! What happened to that top student in the end? Did he marry the rich, beautiful girl in the village, become a new rich kid, and take down that spoiled rich kid?”
“No balls for abandoning your story—you decide if you wanna be a castrated author!”
Along with these threats, the system promptly broadcast the corresponding increase in resentment levels.
So, everyone wanted to know what he’d been up to since being sent down to the countryside?
Thus, Rong Ziyin carefully recalled his day’s events and earnestly provided the final answer to those awaiting it.
“After returning to the village, I treated sick ducks and led the team to capture an escaped wild boar.”
System: …
The system felt Rong Ziyin was beyond help. But Rong Ziyin saw nothing wrong with his account. That was exactly what he’d done since returning!
Moreover, based on today’s wild boar hunt and his observations of their habits, Rong Ziyin even drafted a new article: How to Tame Runaway Wild Boars
Then he went to wash up and sleep, perfectly content.
He had plenty to do tomorrow, and it was already late.
What Rong Ziyin didn’t know was that after he fell asleep, the Zhihu users waiting for his post update all went berserk.
What the hell is this!!!
What happened to the promised comeback ending?
When they saw that follow-up article, “How to Tame a Runaway Wild Boar,” the netizens waiting for the conclusion were practically ready to crawl through their internet cables and beat Rong Ziyin to a pulp.
He left them hanging at the climax, then after finally returning, he didn’t write the ending—and now he just casually drops the whole thing?
It’s like walking down the street, bumping into a stunningly gorgeous girl, hinting at a one-night stand. After a candlelit dinner, romantic wine, and passionate kisses that got things going, you head for a romantic bath together only to discover that after she takes off her dress, she’s… bigger down there than you are?
What’s even more infuriating is that just as you resign yourself to your fate, you realize both of you drank counterfeit alcohol earlier—now neither of you can get it up.
Instantly, these netizens who felt betrayed by Rong Ziyin were livid, unleashing a torrent of rage in the comments under his posts.
The next morning, when Rong Ziyin opened his eyes, he discovered his system coin balance had mysteriously increased by another 400,000, steadily climbing at a consistent rate.
[Netizen xx Rage Level 1000]
[Netizen xx Rage Level 459]
[Netizen xxx Rage Level 333]
[Netizen xxx Rage Level 778]
Among them was a familiar name: [Netizen Li Gongde]—clearly the head of the veterinary department at the Agricultural University. Rong Ziyin never imagined this middle-aged, balding man who usually looked like a staid old cadre would be logging into Zhihu late at night to read gossip.
Rong Ziyin felt as if he’d stumbled upon some forbidden secret.
But he only paused for a moment before getting up to tend to his own affairs.
First, he needed to deliver the salted fish and preserved duck eggs to the snack bar couple. Then he’d seize the chance to take the Money Turtle to meet the Forestry Bureau leadership.
After Rong Ziyin suggested several accessible locations near Yanjing yesterday, the Money Turtle had chosen Yanjing Wildlife Park on its own.
System: “Why there?”
Golden Turtle: “More visitors. Easier to accumulate merit.”
Recalling the comments flooding his screen during yesterday’s appearance, Rong Ziyin couldn’t help but interject, “Or is it to see more gossip?”
“…” The Money Turtle fell silent for a long moment before finally snapping, “Please just take me there already! If you do, you’ll forever be my benefactor!”
[Resistance Value from Golden Turtle: 2000]
Thus, at the Golden Turtle’s urging, Rong Ziyin delivered it to the Forestry Bureau leadership at 9:30 AM sharp, the moment the office opened.
The bureau chief didn’t ask many questions. Rong Ziyin simply said, “Found it by the roadside,” and the chief automatically filled in the plot details.
Just yesterday, a group of poachers fled during a wild boar hunt. Those poachers would steal wild boars—a giant money turtle like this could easily be connected to them.
A turtle this size is incredibly valuable!
Yet Rong Ziyin remained unmoved by such temptation. If not for his overly rigid nature, it must be that he knew how to bide his time.
A clever man will find his fortune sooner or later.
The leader gave Rong Ziyin an appreciative glance before continuing, “Regarding your reward, we’ll discuss it with the wildlife department and issue it to you once everything is settled.”
“Thank you, sir.” Rong Ziyin asked no further questions and prepared to return to the village after completing the formalities.
Before leaving, the system urged Rong Ziyin to bid farewell to the golden turtle.
It was deeply anxious: “Golden turtles govern wealth! Your host despises you so much—could this affect your bonus?”
Rong Ziyin: “Should I discuss it with him then?”
The Money Turtle immediately retracted its head into its shell in refusal.
“Get lost! I wish you a lifetime of boundless wealth and prosperity.”
[Resistance Value: 3000]
Seeing the sincerity in the Golden Money Turtle’s blessing, Rong Ziyin and the system departed from the Forestry Bureau. When he returned to the village, he unexpectedly found the snack shop couple waiting outside their house with a middle-aged man dressed in a suit and tie.
The man immediately rushed over to shake Rong Ziyin’s hand, showering him with compliments about his culinary skills. He introduced himself as a descendant of some renowned chef, visiting the countryside for research.
But Rong Ziyin clearly saw the subtitles above the man’s head: [Professional con artist, online fraud].
Simultaneously, the [Thunderbolt] skill activated. Four black dots appeared on the man’s body. Presumably fearing that Rong Ziyin, a veterinarian, might not recognize human ailments, the skill thoughtfully labeled each condition:
[Fatty Liver]
[Hypertension]
And… [Athlete’s Foot]
[Corn (callus on the foot)]