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HXC Chapter41

The Yi Mansion was decorated with lanterns and festive banners, and congratulatory guests surrounded the gate in an impenetrable throng.

 

Children who loved a good spectacle ran around chattering nonstop. As the sound of the suona horns grew closer, everyone smiled and in unison said, “The bride has been fetched…”

 

Ji Zhen also looked toward the approaching wedding procession. Yi Zhi, who was dressed in new clothes, rode a large horse with a face full of joy. Behind him, sturdy sedan chair bearers steadily carried the embroidered sedan chair decorated with mandarin ducks. A child, too young to know better, tried to lift the curtain on the side of the sedan chair to sneak a peek at the new bride, but the matchmaker shooed them away with a fan.

 

The steward of the Yi Mansion lit the firecrackers. Amid the crackling sounds, Yi Zhi gently kicked the sedan chair door. The matchmaker carried the bride on her back while chanting blessings, and they all entered the manor for the worship ceremony.

 

Ji Zhen was so moved by the joyous and festive wedding atmosphere that he couldn’t help but want to squeeze to the front to get a better look. Just as he was about to move past the crowded people, Shen Yanqing grabbed his wrist. Ji Zhen turned back in confusion.

 

“This way.”

 

Shen Yanqing led Ji Zhen from the left corridor to the main hall. There were fewer people here, so it was a smooth path.

 

Amidst the sounds of laughter, Ji Zhen stared at their clasped hands, then looked at Shen Yanqing walking ahead, and the scene of their own wedding couldn’t help but appear before his eyes. Today, the smile on Yi Zhi’s face never dropped, but at their wedding banquet back then, Shen Yanqing could smile at all the guests but was stingy with even a single glance for him.

 

Love or not, willingness or not, it can be distinguished with just one look.

 

As soon as they stood still in the hall, Ji Zhen pulled his hand out of Shen Yanqing’s grasp. To cover up the memories that rushed to his heart, he joined the guests in clapping and cheering, his eyes full of sincere blessings.

 

All lovers in the world eventually become a family, there is no more perfect picture.

 

Shen Yanqing gazed at Ji Zhen, who was deliberately avoiding him, and couldn’t help but think back to four years ago. That forced wedding banquet, although it was a matter of going with the flow, he still held some resentment toward Ji Zhen for disrupting his plans. No matter how many congratulations he received, they felt like wind blowing past his ears. He drank cup after cup of light wine as he was surrounded by people until he was at the wedding chamber.

 

Ji Zhen, who was dressed in a complicated wedding gown, sat on the bed. Because he was a male wife, he didn’t have a red veil, so Shen Yanqing was able to catch a glimpse of his beautiful eyes that were even more beautiful than peaches and apricots. Ji Zhen’s dark eyes, illuminated by the candlelight, were filled with bashfulness and adoration. Perhaps due to nervousness, his fingers on his legs were tightly clasped. Upon seeing the person who had arrived, his face became even more radiant.

 

His brows vie with the willows in greenness, his face competes with the peaches in redness[mfn]It’s a classical, poetic way of praising a woman’s beauty, comparing her eyebrows to green willow branches and her complexion to red peach blossoms.[/mfn].”

 

But Shen Yanqing was in no mood to appreciate it. He only said coldly, “Fend for yourself,” and after taking in Ji Zhen’s sudden look of defeat, he abandoned his new bride and left.

 

Such a faraway, seemingly trivial scene now appeared like the most intricate fine-line painting, with every stroke laid out in sharp detail.

 

New couples come together every year, yet the memories of the past remain difficult to let go.

 

Once the ceremony concluded, the matchmaker led the bride to the wedding chamber, while the guests moved into the inner room to begin the banquet. Ji Zhen walked a couple of steps before turning back, only to see Shen Yanqing standing motionless, deep in thought, with an uncommon trace of sorrow lingering in his brows.

 

On such a joyous day, what was Shen Yanqing so troubled about?

 

Before Ji Zhen could figure it out, Yi Zhi strode forward and slapped Shen Yanqing’s shoulder. “Why are you standing there? Hurry and join me at the banquet! I’m going to have a good, hearty drink with you today.” He then looked at Ji Zhen and said with a smile, “Saosao[mfn]Sister-in-law[/mfn], don’t mind us. I’ll send him back after we’ve had a jar.”

 

The last time he heard Yi Zhi call him sister-in-law was in the spring of last year.

 

Another beautiful spring had come, but hearing the words again did not bring back the same joy. Ji Zhen smiled and followed the crowd to the banquet.

 

Ji Zhen’s figure vanished around the corner, yet Shen Yanqing unconsciously took a step in his direction. He seemed unusually absent-minded, something Yi Zhi quickly picked up on. “Could it be true that Ji Zhen guessed correctly, that you secretly have a crush on me, and now that I’m getting married, you’re secretly heartbroken?” He joked.

 

He shuddered as he said it himself, and Shen Yanqing brushed his hand away. “Let’s go drink.”

 

The banquet tables were filled with guests chatting with each other. Ji Zhen sat at a table with Mother Shen, occasionally glancing at Shen Yanqing, who had been pulled away by Yi Zhi for drinks. He simply ate his meal without saying much.

 

Out of nowhere, a mischievous child playing around stumbled and fell onto Ji Zhen’s leg, nearly knocking him over. He quickly grabbed the table to steady himself. Before he could say anything, the child started to wail.

 

Ji Zhen was at a loss, completely unsure how to handle the situation. Fortunately, the child’s grandmother hurried over. Upon seeing Mother Shen, she said with a smile, “Aiyo, it’s Madam Shen…”

 

The old woman hugged the child and comforted him, while Mother Shen stood up to playfully tease the child.

 

“How old is this child?”

 

“Just turned six, it’s the most mischievous age.”

 

Mother Shen playfully poked the child’s nose. “It’s good to be lively, unlike my child, who has been quiet since he was little…”

 

The others gathered together in conversation, speaking entirely about grandchildren and family matters.

 

“Lord Shen isn’t young anymore, is he? I heard that a family came to your mansion to arrange a marriage a while ago. Wouldn’t it be easy for you to have a grandchild?”

 

“That’s right,” another woman agreed. “Lord Shen is a truly outstanding man, so there’s no need to worry about…”

 

She stopped talking mid-sentence when she saw Ji Zhen quietly eating his meal beside them. She awkwardly covered her mouth and said with a forced laugh, “I need to get back to my table.”

 

Mother Shen reluctantly stroked the child’s face and sat back down, still unable to resist whispering to the person next to her.

 

Ji Zhen faintly heard words like “grandson” and “granddaughter,” and a piece of braised beef felt stuck in his throat, impossible to swallow. Before the Ji family declined into poverty, Ji Zhen carried guilt over having pressed for the marriage with the Shen family, and he had always shown respect and affection toward Father Shen and Mother Shen. It was only when Mother Shen attempted to arrange a concubine for Shen Yanqing that he finally spoke out harshly.

 

In the past two months, many families had come to propose a marriage. He knew that Mother Shen had never given up on the idea of adding a new branch to the Shen family tree, but knowing it was one thing, hearing it face-to-face was another. Ji Zhen knew he shouldn’t still have feelings for Shen Yanqing, but the thought of Shen Yanqing being happily married to someone else and having a child still caused him grief.

 

Ji Zhen struggled to swallow the well-chewed beef, burying those thoughts that should have long disappeared along with it.

 

By the time the drunk Shen Yanqing returned, Ji Zhen no longer showed signs of being upset.

 

He smelled the strong scent of wine on him and was slightly surprised. In his memory, Shen Yanqing was always restrained, only taking a small sip of wine.

 

This time, though, he was a bit drunk and leaned against Ji Zhen on the way home while closing his eyes to rest.

 

Although the Shen parents didn’t say much, Ji Zhen still felt a bit uncomfortable being so intimate in front of his elders, so he quietly pushed Shen Yanqing. But perhaps because he was drunk, Shen Yanqing didn’t move, therefore Ji Zhen had to give up.

 

On the way back to the main courtyard, Shen Yanqing’s steps were steady, as if his discomfort in the carriage was just an act.

 

Ji Zhen trailed a few steps behind Shen Yanqing, who then paused and gradually fell into step beside him. When they reached the main wing, Ji Zhen was about to head to the west side, but Shen Yanqing pulled him into the main room.

 

The door opened and closed, and Ji Zhen was pinned against the wall and kissed.

 

The scent of alcohol mixed with a clean fragrance filled his nostrils. He gripped the side of Shen Yanqing’s clothes and tilted his neck back slightly. It must have been the alcohol’s heat, making his eyes feel a bit warm.

 

Shen Yanqing remained silent, pressing a deep, consuming kiss onto Ji Zhen. His lips enveloped Ji Zhen’s, his tongue exploring along his teeth and the roof of his mouth, and as if that weren’t enough, he even gently sucked on the tip of Ji Zhen’s tongue. Ji Zhen clenched the fabric in his hands, his throat swallowing as if parched, and was lifted to sit on the dressing table.

 

He heard the sound of a wooden box opening, and a moment later, Ji Zhen felt something cold and heavy on his wrist.

 

Shen Yanqing finally released him. He took a few quick breaths and looked down only to see a pink jade bracelet on his white wrist glowing with a translucent light.

 

Ji Zhen instantly sobered up and instinctively tried to take it off. But Shen Yanqing held his hand and did not let him remove it.

 

They both struggled, neither willing to give in.

 

Ji Zhen ultimately couldn’t win against him and let his hand fall in frustration. “I don’t want this.” He said.

 

Shen Yanqing stared intently at him. “Then what do you want…”

 

There was no need for a reply; the answer was already there—Ji Zhen wanted to leave Shen Yanqing, leave the Shen Mansion, and leave the capital.

 

The room fell into a silent stillness. Shen Yanqing crossed his arms behind Ji Zhen, holding him close, and rested his forehead on Ji Zhen’s shoulder. Using the excuse of being drunk, he said in a low voice, “Yi Zhi’s wedding today made me think of our wedding. Yes, I was angry that you forced the matter, but everything is settled now. I’m not who you think I am…”

 

Ji Zhen’s eyes flickered as he stared straight ahead.

 

Shen Yanqing seemed to have mulled over his words all night before he said solemnly, “Matters at court are complicated and cannot be explained in a few words. I failed you regarding the Ji family.”

 

The eloquent Grand Scholar was now at a loss for words. He was afraid of saying too much and failing to convey his true feelings.

 

He sighed softly. “Ji Zhen, move back.”

 

A single piece of paper cannot contain a thousand thoughts.

 

Ji Zhen kept his gaze lowered, hearing each word clearly but not daring to take them to heart. He was afraid of being deceived by Shen Yanqing, fearing that if he truly believed him, he would be met with another crushing blow. For four years, Shen Yanqing had never explicitly shown that he had feelings for him. Every memory was filled with cold stares and stinging words, so why was he saying these things now to disturb his peace?

 

He hunched his body and, suppressing his unease, said, “I…”

 

Shen Yanqing looked up at him.

 

“I still want to live in the west wing.”

 

Shen Yanqing closed his eyes to hide his sorrow. He let go of Ji Zhen, feeling a bit helpless. After a moment, he finally gave in. “Alright.”

 

Ji Zhen stood still and reached for the pink jade bracelet on his wrist.

 

But Shen Yanqing was a step ahead, reaching out to hold his hand. His words were like a bone in his throat. “This is yours. Wear it.”

 

The other party’s tone left no room for argument. Ji Zhen thought about how for the next month or so, he would still need to rely on Shen Yanqing to get news from his elder brother, therefore he finally stopped trying to take it off.

 

He carefully took a few steps and reached the door. Suddenly, he remembered that it was always him who watched Shen Yanqing leave this place, and now it was finally the other party’s turn to watch his back.

 

He felt a childish sense of triumph, mixed with a hint of bitterness, and smiled silently.

 

In this game where the winner and loser could be determined with a single glance, the dull and unresponsive Ji Zhen had lost terribly, gambling away four years of affection and losing his family fortune. But finally, he had played one correct move.

 

He walked out of the main room without looking back and headed straight for the west wing.

 

The winter wind howled against his cheeks, and he only felt the chill.

 

When he arrived outside the west wing, Ji An, who came out to pour water, saw him and exclaimed, “Young Master, why are your eyes so red? Did Lord Shen trouble you again?”

 

Ji Zhen shook his head. He thought for a moment, took off the pink jade, and hid it. He casually wiped his face with his sleeve and forced a smile. “Maybe the wind was just too strong…” He then muttered quietly, “I don’t want something that isn’t mine.”

 

The author has something to say:

Shen · Ten lifetimes of emotional intelligence traded for a single lifetime of wit and looks · Yanqing

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