Just outside the southern gates of the city, a dense, murderous aura frightened the birds from the woods.
The fierce offensive of the guards was not as impactful as a single, gentle sentence from Ji Zhen. It was only by using his sword to brace himself that Shen Yanqing could stand. Covered in blood, his eyes blazing red, he fixed his gaze on the figure outside the carriage, yet even with Ji Zhen so near, he found himself unable to take a single step closer.
It wasn’t that he was unaware of how slim his chances were of taking Ji Zhen away in a solo fight, but after much thought, he had still come alone. Ji Jue was a high-profile criminal of the court; if anyone else discovered that he had faked his death to escape, Ji Zhen, who was with him, would inevitably be implicated.
Shen Yanqing knew how important Ji Jue was to Ji Zhen. If Ji Jue were to be captured again, Ji Zhen would certainly not want to live on.
He finally understood what it meant for “love gives rise to fear, love gives rise to cowardice.”
A gust of wind came, kicking up dust from the ground. Ji Jue shielded half of Ji Zhen’s body behind him and said, “You’ve heard it. With that, do not get entangled any further.”
The thick blood on Shen Yanqing’s fingertips dripped steadily to the ground. He slowly took one step forward while staring at Ji Zhen outside the carriage. A moment later, he gritted his teeth and said, “Our marriage contract hasn’t been dissolved. Why should I let you go?”
The very marriage contract that Shen Yanqing had once regarded with indifference now became his only way to keep Ji Zhen.
But while the contract remained, the heart was already hard to grasp.
Ji Zhen’s breathing was heavy, and he choked out, “If you are willing, we can now…”
Shen Yanqing, in a near-anxious state, interrupted him, “I am not willing.”
After five years of marriage, an embarrassing end was not what Ji Zhen wanted. His eyes welled up with emotion as he said, “Shen Yanqing, I was wrong to force you into marriage back then. Now I apologize to you solemnly once more. You can throw away or burn that marriage contract; just pretend it never existed.” He spoke each word with difficulty. “I don’t like the capital. I don’t want to be trapped here anymore.”
Shen Yanqing’s always-calm face was like a porcelain vase that had been overturned, shattering into pieces inch by inch. He gave a slight laugh and murmured Ji Zhen’s words, “Never existed…”
Ji Zhen wanted to erase everything they had shared.
Shen Yanqing could no longer bear the intense pain in his chest. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the thick blood spilling from his lips and desperately raised his sword, his voice as deep as an echo from an ancient well. “You don’t get to decide that.”
With one person determined to leave and the other stubbornly holding on, the only outcome could be mutual devastation.
Enduring the pain, Shen Yanqing once again fought with the guards. Ji Zhen watched him get trapped in the relentless rotation of their assault, and he felt a bone-deep ache.
The Shen Yanqing in his heart should have been steady and composed, calm and unruffled, someone who would not change his expression even if Mount Tai were to crumble before him. Yet the blood-soaked figure before him seemed blind to gain or loss, knowing only how to turn himself into a battle blade, casting aside both life and family. Even a three-year-old child would know the principle that the few cannot defeat the many, yet he still refused to stop.
The head of the guards glanced at the time and cupped his hand. “Young Master, we still have a long road ahead. It wouldn’t do to tarry here.”
Because of Shen Yanqing’s special status, the guards had not gone for a killing blow. However, they were on the outskirts of the capital, and if they continued to fight like this, they were afraid of attracting officials, which would make it difficult to escape.
Ji Jue looked at Ji Zhen, whose eyes were welling up with tears, and said gently, “Zhen Zhen, come back to the carriage.”
Ji Zhen’s vision gradually blurred, but he still couldn’t stop the sight of blood from assailing him. He trembled and called out “Gege” in a pleading tone.
Ji Jue took a bow and arrow from a guard and said, “I won’t kill him, considering he once tried to save me.”
Ji Zhen swallowed the soreness in his throat and, steeling his heart, slipped into the carriage and sat there in a daze.
With Ji Zhen no longer in sight, Shen Yanqing’s attacks grew even more ferocious. The clash of swords rang out sharp and harsh, their edges already drenched in blood.
In the brilliant golden light, Ji Jue stood before the carriage, unhurriedly drawing his bow. The guards, having received their orders, fell back one by one.
Shen Yanqing behaved as though the lethal arrow did not exist, surging ahead as the tip of his sword etched a long, bloodied mark across the ground.
The gentle warmth in Ji Jue’s eyes was gone. The veins on the back of his hand bulged as he drew the bow while his lips pressed tightly together. He then abruptly released the fully drawn string.
The arrow sliced through the air, making a sound like ripping cloth that clearly reached Ji Zhen inside the carriage. His pupils trembled, and he finally couldn’t restrain himself from lifting the curtain to look.
He saw the long arrow pierce through Shen Yanqing’s shoulder blade. The force of the impact pushed him back two steps. He managed to stand steady, but a mouthful of sweet, bloody liquid welled up from his throat.
Ji Jue lowered his bow and said in a deep voice, “This arrow is to repay the scar upon Zhen Zhen’s neck.”
Shen Yanqing paid no attention to it and staggering forward two steps. Finally, unable to bear his severe injuries anymore, his body swayed, and he fell to one knee. He lifted his dazed eyes, and when they met Ji Zhen’s tear-streaked, sorrowful face, a few faint specks of light flickered within them.
He stretched out a hand toward Ji Zhen in a hopeless attempt, but could clutch nothing but emptiness.
It was as if a fragment had been torn from Ji Zhen’s heart. He shook his head, “Enough… enough…”
Ji Jue pulled the curtain down for him to block the sight outside, and called out loudly, “Let’s go.” He then gripped Ji Zhen’s shoulders firmly and said in a resolute voice, “Zhen Zhen, don’t cling to the past anymore.”
The capital and Shen Yanqing no longer had anything to do with him.
He heard the guards’ surprised shouts, “Is that man crazy? He’s still daring to chase on horseback with injuries like that?”
Behind the carriage, Shen Yanqing rode his horse as he bathed in blood, but after less than a mile, his vision became too blurry to see. Ji Zhen was getting farther and farther away, so far he could no longer catch up.
He remembered a time when Ji Zhen would follow behind him, calling his name with high spirits, only to lower his head timidly when Shen Yanqing looked at him and said, “I just wanted you to wait for me.”
Shen Yanqing’s vision went black. He could no longer see the morning sun, and he fell heavily from his horse, reaching out towards the distance.
“Ji Zhen.”
Wait for me—
He was finally willing to set aside his pride and beg Ji Zhen to turn and look at him, but no one heard his desperate, blood-soaked plea.
—
The matter of Shen Yanqing leaving his post did not go unnoticed. Too many people had seen him at the city gates. The emperor was furious, but considering that he had been seriously ill with the plague while helping with disaster relief, he allowed Shen Yanqing to be held accountable after he had recovered.
Shen Yanqing was rescued by passing officials on the outskirts of the city and sent back to the Shen Mansion, where he was barely breathing.
When Mother Shen saw her son covered in blood and unconscious, she fainted on the spot. The physician in charge of treating Shen Yanqing took his pulse and, learning that he had been in Jinzhou, prevented anyone else from getting close and had servants burn mugwort three times to fumigate the entire mansion.
The wound on Shen Yanqing’s shoulder was a flesh wound; after the arrowhead was removed and medicine was applied, it wasn’t a major issue anymore. However, he hadn’t fully recovered from the plague and was now injured as well, which was like adding frost to snow.
“In this old physician’s opinion, he should be sent back to Jinzhou,” the physician said. “First of all, the capital remains free of the plague, and if Lord Shen stays here, he might transmit it to others. Secondly, the head physicians and others are all in Jinzhou. Once a cure is developed, Lord Shen can also receive timely treatment.”
Mother Shen, who was worried sick about her son, naturally refused. But as soon as the news of Shen Yanqing contracting the plague spread, the people of the capital panicked. Ministers also petitioned for Shen Yanqing to leave the city. The words of the people were frightening. Father Shen, as an official in court, knew that Shen Yanqing had been in the wrong first. No matter how reluctant he was, he took the initiative to petition to have Shen Yanqing sent to Jinzhou.
Mother Shen bid her son farewell with tears streaming down her face while Yu He accompanied him.
Shen Yanqing remained unconscious for two days and two nights. When he finally woke up, he was already on the way to Jinzhou.
Inside the carriage, mugwort was continuously burning. Yu He opened the curtain for ventilation and, seeing that Shen Yanqing had opened his eyes, said happily, “My Lord, you’re finally awake.”
Shen Yanqing was wrapped in a thick blanket, yet he was breaking out in cold sweats. His vision was blurry and unfocused.
He lay still for a moment, and the image of Ji Zhen walking away appeared in his mind, a pain that felt like a chisel carving into his bones.
Seeing that he didn’t speak, Yu He said with a sense of guilt, “My Lord, this humble one is incompetent. I failed to live up to your expectations and couldn’t keep an eye on the Young Madam.”
Shen Yanqing tasted the metallic tang in his mouth and asked a question he already knew the answer to. “Where do you think he will go?”
Yu He stammered, not daring to answer, and finally offered some comfort. “Once you’re better, you’ll definitely be able to find the Young Madam again, just like last time.”
Shen Yanqing closed his eyes in grief. The sky was high and the land was vast; no matter how far he reached, his hand could not extend beyond the capital’s borders.
Where was Ji Zhen now? Once he reached the northern desert and saw Jiang Yuyu, would he completely forget about him?
He couldn’t wait another moment. He wished he could fly to the border right now. But what then? The root of the problem was that Ji Zhen was no longer willing to stay by his side.
The marriage contract was void.
Shen Yanqing coughed violently, his chest rattling. Yu He quickly handed him a white cloth, and blood streaks were visible once more.
He was weak all over. After drinking his medicine, he felt drowsy again. He forced himself to listen to Yu He speak. “My Lord, we’ll be in Jinzhou in two hours. You should rest a little longer.”
Shen Yanqing felt tired but couldn’t fall asleep. The bone-deep pain was unbearable, and he endured it until they arrived at the post station.
Lu Chen and Wang Lingzhi came to meet him personally, and they were both deeply concerned when they saw Shen Yanqing’s condition. They had people carry him in a sedan chair to a side room. Several imperial physicians had already been waiting for a while and immediately gathered around Shen Yanqing.
“It is indeed the plague. Where is the new medicine? Administer two doses first.”
“Lord Shen, the greatest taboo with this illness is overexertion. You must recuperate well during this period, or you risk developing a chronic illness.”
Shen Yanqing took the medicine, grasped the physician’s hand, and pressed on. “How many days until I’m well?”
“At the very least, ten days. At most, dozens of days.”
Shen Yanqing’s face grew even paler upon hearing this. He said in anguish, “That’s too long. Three days—can I travel in three days?”
The imperial physician looked troubled. “Lord Shen, you’ve seen the plague victims yourself. Don’t even mention traveling in three days; it’s even a blessing to be able to get out of bed. You also have external injuries. You won’t see any improvement for at least ten days.”
Ten days. That’s too long. Ji Zhen would probably have reached the northern desert by then.
Shen Yanqing collapsed back onto the bed, his eyes a fiery red.
Wang Lingzhi, seeing his downcast appearance, couldn’t help but say, “When you’re sick, you need to be treated. Why would you joke around with your own body?” She added, “Even if something urgent arises, you must wait until you have completely recovered as well. Your unauthorized departure from Jinzhou has caused a huge stir. His Majesty’s censure is one thing, but are you not concerned about the people of Jinzhou anymore?”
The group had witnessed the suffering of the people tormented by the illness in Jinzhou. Wang Lingzhi genuinely admired Shen Yanqing for his hands-on approach to everything. She couldn’t understand why he had gone so wrong.
Lu Chen also looked at Shen Yanqing in confusion.
The man on the bed slowly raised his eyes. After a moment, he said in a hoarse voice, “Ji Zhen has left.”
Both of their expressions changed slightly. Seeing Shen Yanqing as if his very soul had been torn away, they could not bear to ask another question.
It was not Shen Yanqing’s style to lay his pain bare for others to see, but other than words, he had no other way to alleviate it. He could only let the rot in his heart fester, eating away at his spirit until there was nothing left.
There was no escaping this feeling. As it lifted from his brow, it sank back into his heart again.
The author has something to say:
Lord Shen (pointing to his heart): My wife ran away, and my heart ran off with him, wuwuwuwu.
T/N: This hurt so good lmao
Perfect pain I love it
Thanks for the chapter <333
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