To say one should start from the beginning… but a person’s life cannot be summed up in just a few simple sentences.
When two people get together, it is often not just a matter between two individuals, but a matter between two families.
Rong Guang’s grandmother was not very fortunate back in her day.
She was born in the forties, a time when the global economy was severely damaged. Her parents and relatives passed away one after another. It was a retired soldier nearly twenty years her senior, who was her grandfather, who took care of her, took her in, and raised her to adulthood.
It was only after her grandma and grandpa decided to be together that they left their original home and settled down in their current place.
“Grandma, when you and Grandpa first got together…” Although Xu Mingli had only spoken a few words about her past hardships, Rong Guang, who had been at the center of a storm several times, understood all too well the helplessness and forbearance hidden beneath her grandmother’s brief sentences.
Her grandfather had been discharged early due to injury, and one of his legs was disabled.
In that era, even people from the military compounds could hardly afford a prosthetic limb, so her grandfather used a crutch all year round, a wooden frame he had made himself.
An old man in his thirties, living with a teenage girl.
Even if it was a trust bestowed by the girl’s late father, for two such people to live together…
Rong Guang could almost predict the kind of gossip that would spread without even having to think about it.
But compared to the present, at least modern people were separated from her by the internet. What about back then?
Every word was a stab to the heart, every sentence gut-wrenching.
That gossip was like a weight on her grandma and grandpa’s backs, growing heavier with every step.
Otherwise, who would have been willing to leave their hometown in that era, to abandon the land where they had lived for so many years and go to a completely new and unknown place?
Xu Mingli, however, was very open-minded about it, not blaming herself for the mistakes of others.
She had been very happy all these years. Very few people knew about her past misfortunes. Being happy was the most important thing.
Rong Guang asked her, “Then do you blame the people who were unkind to you back then?”
She smiled and stroked Rong Guang’s head, saying, “Why shouldn’t I blame them? Grandma has never felt that your grandpa and I needed to thank the people who hurt us. That’s all twisted logic, completely unreasonable. If it weren’t for them, your grandpa and I might have lived very happily.”
Rong Guang nodded, thinking of the online trolls, and couldn’t help but purse her lips. Who was it that told her before to thank those who had hurt her?
The one she should thank was clearly herself, for gritting her teeth and enduring it all.
The people who inflicted more harm on them didn’t break them. The ones they should thank were themselves for overcoming those hardships, and the friends who helped them.
Xu Mingli didn’t want to bring up those unpleasant memories. She said, “But look, it’s a good thing Grandma and Grandpa ultimately chose to leave our old home and come to our current one. You grew up in the village, and later on, the uncles and aunties in the village were all very good to you, right?”
That was true.
Rong Guang nodded affirmatively. Not wanting to dwell on past sorrows, her eyes brightened as she said, “So back then, were the uncles and aunties in the village always very good to you two as well?”
“Yes, very good.” Xu Mingli’s eyes curved. “It was also thanks to your grandpa’s worn-out military uniform. We didn’t have any new clothes to change into back then. Our village had hosted several PLA troops in the past and had been attacked by local bandits who turned on their own many times. Later, a unit simply stationed themselves in a camp not far away. When your grandpa applied for a transfer there, everyone was especially good to us. They gave us food and clothes, and knowing your grandpa’s leg was inconvenient, even the young people in the village helped build our house. Every household sent someone to help…”
Rong Guang thought of the fiery enthusiasm of that era and felt as if a picture was forming in her mind.
“That’s so wonderful,” Rong Guang said, blinking, a little lost in thought.
She suddenly thought of herself.
What if she and Chu Feiliang were met with backlash after they went public?
Run away?
Going abroad seemed like a good option too.
As long as the two of them could be together… Rong Guang felt that anything would be fine.
But why should they be the ones to run away?
Realizing she was getting a bit ahead of herself, that things were far from being settled, Rong Guang touched her nose and came back to her senses.
—If she kept thinking about it, she was worried she’d start searching for churches and priests tomorrow.
Her grandmother thought for a moment and said, “Do you still remember what your grandpa looked like in his later years?”
“I remember,” Rong Guang nodded carefully.
Her health wasn’t very good when she was little, and the adults in the family were worried she would catch something at the hospital, so they were never keen on letting her stay in her grandpa’s ward for too long.
But she still went when she had to.
By then, her grandpa could no longer speak or eat on his own, but when her grandma called his name, he would still respond. The response was faint, but her grandma took pleasure in it, wanting to see her grandpa move his hands or feet.
Everyone at the hospital said her grandpa was fortunate to have such a beautiful young wife who was so good to him, personally taking care of him without complaint even as he was dying.
But her grandma always said that when they were young, it was her grandpa who took care of her more.
Rong Guang had always felt that her grandmother was right.
Xu Mingli said, “Look at Grandma’s hands.”
Rong Guang looked down.
Her grandmother’s hands were not particularly beautiful.
Although she had never done heavy manual labor, not long after moving to the village, her grandmother had followed local customs and started learning to make incense. Due to the constant corrosion from the incense materials, her hands were not particularly delicate to the touch.
But Rong Guang remembered an old photograph at home. When her grandmother was young, her hands were slender and delicate, so fair they seemed to glow.
Her eyes were always clear, and even in her twenties and thirties, she was protected by her grandpa like a naive little girl who knew nothing of the world.
In that era, those were hands that could only be nurtured through the most meticulous care.
Rong Guang looked for a while, then touched them.
Though no longer delicate, these hands still felt so comfortable to the touch, carrying the most familiar feeling and scent from her childhood.
Xu Mingli smiled and said, “Everyone only remembers what they see in front of them—you all see Grandpa being good to me, but no one knows that I was the one he protected all along.”
“Back then, the legal age for marriage was twenty-four. Your grandpa waited for me from the time I was sixteen until I was twenty-four. He never asked for anything, nor did he let me do anything. He gave me money to go to high school and then university, never asking for anything in return. If I hadn’t taken the initiative to climb… ahem, he was even going to ask the village committee to introduce me to a potential match. He was so silly.”
“By the time I could get married, he was already forty. He never asked for much, just wholeheartedly wanted me to find a good family to marry into, and then to take care of him when he got old.” Xu Mingli’s eyes curved, seeming to recall the silly look on Rong Guang’s grandpa’s face when he said those words, yet her eyes sparkled with the light of happiness. “For the next few decades, I barely had to do any housework. Others didn’t know about his devotion, only the old folks in our village still remember. He really got the short end of the stick.”
“So, what’s there to be upset about?” Xu Mingli glanced at her and said with a hint of pride, “Although I was accompanying your grandpa, the nurses were doing all the dirty and tiring work. What was I tired from? What did I sacrifice? Wasn’t I just chatting with your grandpa?”
But you were the one earning the money, my dear grandma.
Rong Guang tilted her head and thought for a moment, feeling that both her grandma’s and her grandpa’s ways of thinking were a bit off.
But even though they were both a bit off, they seemed to have merged together in a wondrous way.
Her grandma did seem to have been taking advantage of her grandpa all along.
But she also cared for him in his old age and saw him off at the end.
And… hadn’t her grandma also given herself to her grandpa in return?
Rong Guang resisted the urge to ask this question—her grandma was still quite pleased with herself at the moment, and there was no need to burst her little bubble of pride.
Then she couldn’t help but automatically think of a very realistic and very unhappy example in her life.
Her mother.
And her nominal stepfather, who was not legally recognized.
In an instant, all romantic thoughts were scattered.
Rong Guang couldn’t help but sigh and say, “No wonder you’re never willing to listen to Dad and move to the city.”
Because only the people in her old hometown knew of her grandmother’s most precious memories.
At her grandmother’s age, all she saw were memories, and all she thought of was the past.
The old house held a lifetime of her grandmother’s memories, all the impressions of the many years she had lived with the person she cherished most. Every brick and tile she saw was happiness, which was why she was unwilling to leave.
After talking with Xu Mingli, Rong Guang thought for a long time.
She felt like she was just worrying for nothing.
Nothing can be obtained without paying a price.
Her grandpa was good to her grandma for decades, which is why her grandma was willing to stay by his side, never leaving him.
So on what grounds could she demand that Chu Feiliang be a perfect, flawless person?
She herself hadn’t done anything for Chu Feiliang, yet she was already making demands and hesitating because she thought there was a problem with the other person—that was simply too shameless.
To like someone, you have to like all of them.
The good is her, the bad is also her, that’s all her.
When nothing had even happened yet, what was she doing getting lost in these wild thoughts?
She didn’t know the reason for Chu Feiliang’s illness, but it was likely not unrelated to her profession.
And if Chu Feiliang really liked her but didn’t dare to be with her because she was worried Rong Guang couldn’t withstand the rumors, leading to them eventually becoming strangers… then she would truly be losing out big time.
She wasn’t afraid of rumors, and she could handle them.
As Rong Guang thought about it, her eyes suddenly lit up. Wasn’t this… a great opportunity for her to score points?!
Chu Feiliang had let it slip, and she had noticed that she was sick.
But Chu Feiliang herself didn’t know she had let it slip!
Rong Guang excitedly shot up from her stool, quickly hugged Xu Mingli, and dashed upstairs.
As she ran, Rong Guang thought: she had already accompanied Tang Shi through severe depression for four or five years, and with Chu Feiliang’s current state… she felt she could totally handle it.
Even if it was worse, it would be fine.
When Tang Shi’s illness acted up, she would have suicidal thoughts. Rong Guang often stayed up late at night, going to her room to check on her from time to time. She also had to remind Tang Shi to take her medicine on schedule, and later simply moved into a bunk bed with her.
Anyway, after they formed the group, they ate and lived together, so it didn’t matter where she lived.
If she could take care of that, why couldn’t she take care of Chu Feiliang?!
She liked Chu Feiliang so much, of course she should be even better at taking care of her!
Moreover, Rong Guang felt that her grandmother was right.
Never mind that Chu Feiliang might just have depression.
Even if she had a terminal illness, there would be a whole world of fans clamoring to throw themselves at her and compete for her.
If she took care of Chu Feiliang now, she might just be able to trick the great Chu Feiliang into coming home with her!
A great opportunity to take advantage of the situation… bah, to show her true feelings! If not now, when!
After figuring these things out, Rong Guang felt completely refreshed and invigorated, which made her particularly energetic during the next few days of training.
Tang Shi’s stamina wasn’t great, and due to her health, she had to rest after practicing for a short while.
But her voice was exceptionally unique.
Especially her voice, so soft and ethereal it was as if someone was singing a lullaby in your ear, capable of giving people a sense of peace from the very core.
So as the group’s vocal lead… Tang Shi didn’t need good stamina.
Her voice was enough.
But Rong Guang herself was the group’s dance lead, and the task she carried for the final performance was especially heavy. She had started practicing long in advance and couldn’t slack off at all.
Coupled with her good state of mind recently, many moves were perfected in one go, with no need for a second attempt. She just needed to memorize the positioning, and it wouldn’t be a problem!
It got to the point where Duan Nong looked at her like she was a monster these days.
“Are you okay…?” Duan Nong handed Rong Guang a bottle of water, taking a couple of swigs herself before collapsing to the side.
The heat was on in the dance studio, and since they were constantly moving, everyone was still in summer clothes. Even so, they were all drenched in sweat.
Standing by the door, where the outside temperature was below zero, steam rose from their hot bodies.
Rong Guang was grinning with delight.
For tomorrow’s stage, Chu Feiliang had said she would come to visit in advance tonight. After she got enough sleep tomorrow, she would go straight there.
After all, the performance wouldn’t start until the evening and would last until midnight. Without enough stamina, it really wouldn’t be sufficient.
Of course, Rong Guang had plenty of stamina.
Chu Feiliang, not so much.
She had compressed a lot of her scenes into a very short period of time just so she wouldn’t break her promise.
When Rong Guang saw the clips from the set that Wang Lujie sent her, she was absolutely heartbroken and almost said something like, “Maybe Teacher Chu shouldn’t come.”
She felt she had great potential to be a benighted ruler.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Rong Guang smiled, tilted her head back, and chugged a bottle of water.
Chu Feiliang was arriving in B City tonight. Although she said she would come over by herself, Rong Guang didn’t want her to rush around like that.
So she planned to take a trip to Big Dipper… and see her sweetheart while she was at it.
It was about time.
Rong Guang guessed that Chu Feiliang would probably go back to the company to handle some things after she returned, so she planned to go downstairs in a bit and take a taxi straight to Big Dipper.
Behind her, Duan Nong called out, “Where are you going so late? Aren’t you going to practice a little more? The show is tomorrow night.”
“No more practice, I know what I’m doing.” Rong Guang waved back, wiped the sweat off her body with a towel, casually reapplied some lipstick, put on her coat, and prepared to leave.
Duan Nong chased her to the door of the practice room.
She grabbed Rong Guang’s arm and said awkwardly, “Um… are you busy after the celebration banquet tomorrow night?”
After the celebration banquet tomorrow night…
She was very busy!
Duan Nong’s grip was a bit painful, but Rong Guang was in too good a mood to bother arguing with her. She tried to pull her arm away but couldn’t.
Just as she was about to use a bit of force, the door beside her was pulled open from the outside. Immediately, an icy hand gripped both her and Duan Nong’s arms, separating them.
Rong Guang froze, recognizing the owner of those hands. A little surprised and a little delighted, she called out, “Sister?”
Hearing this form of address, Duan Nong’s face darkened, and she glared at Chu Feiliang.
Chu Feiliang’s expression was indifferent. Without looking at Duan Nong, she said, “She has plans after it ends tomorrow.”
“How do you know she has plans?!” Duan Nong’s eyes blazed with anger.
Chu Feiliang put one hand in her pocket, the smile on her face never fading.
Wang Lujie arrived belatedly, holding two cups of milk tea she had clearly just bought.
Seeing the scene before her, she felt that perhaps she should have stayed downstairs a little longer instead of coming up so soon.
Chu Feiliang held one of Rong Guang’s coat sleeves, helping her put on her jacket, and said lightly, “Because her appointment tomorrow is with me.”
Duan Nong turned her gaze to Rong Guang.
Rong Guang met Duan Nong’s gaze and nodded, her heart filled with the joy of Chu Feiliang’s visit. She didn’t notice anything amiss and said, “That’s right, Teacher Chu and I made plans a long time ago to spend Christmas together tomorrow.”
The Farewell Stage was on December 25th, a very good date.
—Mainly to avoid the New Year’s Eve galas of the major TV stations.
After all, their NO.1 group was small and didn’t have enough fans. Holding their farewell on Christmas, whether it was a live stream online or a live farewell concert in B City, at least the numbers wouldn’t look too shabby.
Mainly, the tickets weren’t expensive either.
Couples who came to watch together on Christmas even got a discount.
Rong Guang thought with some guilt that their little group, which might be described as a sensation in the future, was… really obscure right now.
As if sensing Rong Guang’s guilt, Chu Feiliang paused and said, “What’s with that expression?”
Rong Guang’s face was full of question marks. “What?”
Chu Feiliang gripped Rong Guang’s shoulders, turned her around to face the mirror, and said with a deadpan expression, “You look guilty.”
Then she turned Rong Guang back around to face her and said, “What, does having a meal with me make you feel guilty?”
Rong Guang looked at her own somewhat evasive eyes in the mirror. Too embarrassed to say it was because the ticket prices were too cheap and she was worried too few people would come, she stammered for a long time, her mind blank, not knowing what to say.
After a moment, she suddenly had a flash of inspiration. She grabbed Chu Feiliang’s wrist, her eyes sparkling as she said, “No, I was just thinking about something… Sister, on the day of the celebration banquet, can you come too?”
Chu Feiliang paused. Her face was still stern, but the corners of her lips were starting to curl up against her will.
She cleared her throat and said, “It’s your internal celebration banquet. What would I be doing there?”
“The boss will be there too,” Rong Guang said in a small voice. “You can just come as… a family member to have a dinner together.”
A big shot like Chu Siyue wasn’t going to Star Cluster just for a meal.
It was because Star Cluster was failing. Chu Siyue was going to acquire it.
After signing the contract, she could have a meal to fill her stomach and say a few words to her future new employee and subordinates.
“Go as a family member?” Chu Feiliang stroked her chin, thought for a moment, and said, “That could work.”
Chu Feiliang agreed, and Rong Guang instantly broke into a smile.
Watching the two of them talk as if no one else was there, Duan Nong was about to explode with anger.
But for a moment she didn’t know what to say, and could only watch furiously as Chu Feiliang brazenly led Rong Guang away.
Duan Nong was so angry her eyes turned red. She clenched her fists tightly, biting her lip hard.
Tang Shi glanced over, showing no reaction. She found the part she still needed to practice, put on her headphones, and continued listening to the song.
After a while, Yi Chun called out, “Nongnong, let’s practice a bit more? Anyway, it doesn’t matter if Rong Guang practices or not. She signed with Big Dipper a long time ago. Even if she messes up the dance, she doesn’t have to worry about her future. It’s not like she plans to stay on stage anyway…”
“What did you say?!” Duan Nong whipped her head around, her eyes bloodshot. “She signed with Big Dipper?! When?”
“She signed a long time ago.” Yi Chun frowned, but she was too far from Duan Nong for her expression to be clear. She said, “I heard that Brother Chen and Sister Cai went to jail because of her. I don’t know what her relationship with Chu Feiliang is, but they suddenly got very close before…”
Tang Shi took off her headphones, glanced expressionlessly at Yi Chun and the fuming Duan Nong not far away.
Then she stood up, slowly walked over to Yi Chun, and looked down at her with dark, unreadable eyes. In a tone that betrayed no emotion, she said, “Yi Chun, stop saying such one-sided, subjective, and divisive things in the future.”
Check out the new translations I’m updating:
- Playing the “Saint” in the Wasteland
- Without Rhyme or Reason
- Rivals in the Limelight
- Scripted Hearts
All four have 20 chapters out already, with a new chapter added every day. You can also find my other translations on The Fragrance of Lilies reading list.
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