LC chapter 21

 

Meng Zhen carefully sat down in a chair, too afraid to move. Lin Ruan could tell at a glance that Meng Zhen had been badly beaten.

He took a small sandalwood box out of his bag and opened it. Inside was the jade bracelet that Lin Ruan had given to Meng Zhen.

“Song Shuangqi didn’t want the bracelet, so I told my cousin about it,” Meng Zhen said. “My parents compensated my cousin for the bracelet, and my cousin didn’t say much.”

“Was the scene awkward at the time?” Lin Ruan asked.

Although the Bai and Meng families were relatives, they were not close. The elders of both families did not want the children to interact too much. Bai Zhenzhu definitely sent Meng Zhen to deliver something secretly, without telling Meng Zhen’s parents. Meng Zhen messed up, so his parents still had to apologize to Bai Zhenzhu.

Recalling the situation, Meng Zhen said, “Not really. They were all polite.”

Lin Ruan leaned on the table and asked, “What about that young master? If he knows your cousin gave something to Boss Song, would he spread it around? Would it damage your cousin’s reputation?”

“I asked,” Meng Zhen said. “My cousin said it wasn’t a big deal and that she could handle it. Maybe in their elders’ eyes, these aren’t matters at all.”

Lin Ruan thought for a moment. Bai Zhenzhu was impressive. She was probably the kind of person Zhan Xi mentioned: someone who could resolve things herself.

Being able to resolve things oneself is a remarkable skill. Someone like Zhan Xi would never let matters slip out of his control. Even if unexpected things happened, Bai Zhenzhu could stabilize the situation.

Lin Ruan lowered his brows and handed the bracelet to Meng Zhen. “You can give this bracelet to your cousin as compensation from us. If it weren’t for us, that young master wouldn’t even know about this.”

Meng Zhen thought for a moment and agreed.

Outside, the sun was bright, and the weather had warmed slightly these past few days. The clusters of forsythia around the school were budding with pale yellow flowers. At first, it was quite delightful. Lin Ruan leaned on the table and looked at the forsythia outside the window. He let out a long sigh.

Li Mingwen entered the classroom, saw Lin Ruan and Meng Zhen at their seats, and paused for a moment. Lin Ruan was lost in thought, but Meng Zhen saw him at once.

He had wanted to stand up, but the movement caused him pain, so he stabilized himself on the chair. As Li Mingwen approached, he asked, “What are you going to do about the jade bracelet you broke earlier?”

Li Mingwen paused. “What jade bracelet?”

Meng Zhen frowned. “What? You want to deny it? That day in the classroom, you knocked over Lin Ruan’s desk and broke the bracelet. So many classmates saw it.”

Li Mingwen stood stiffly by the desk, afraid to look at the other students’ expressions.

“How would I know if your bracelet is real?” Li Mingwen said. “Maybe you’re deceiving me.”

Meng Zhen became angry. “How can you talk like that?”

Lin Ruan looked back at the two of them. Li Mingwen had his hand on the desk, and his knuckles had turned white from pressing too hard. He couldn’t pay for the bracelet. Neither Lin Ruan nor Meng Zhen had mentioned it in the past few days, so Li Mingwen thought it had been forgotten. He didn’t expect Meng Zhen to bring it up today. But no matter what, he absolutely couldn’t admit it.

Lin Ruan said, “The owner of Mingyu Zhai appraised the bracelet at eight hundred yuan. You can go ask.”

Li Mingwen replied, “Who knows if you two are colluding.”

Meng Zhen wanted to say more, but the class bell rang and the professor came in with his lecture notes.

Meng Zhen turned his head in frustration and muttered, “How can there be people like this!”

There was only one class that afternoon, so school ended early. When Lin Ruan got home, Zhan Xi hadn’t returned yet. He went to his room to put down his backpack. Before he could sit down, there was a knock at the door. Lin Ruan opened the door to find Uncle Tong holding a tray. On the tray were two items: a box containing money and a velvet box.

“Master said you have only one year left before graduation. There are many things to spend money on, so he guessed that you hadn’t saved much before and sent you some.”

Lin Ruan took the tray from Uncle Tong, who folded his arms. “From now on, you have fifty yuan a month. If there’s a big expense, come to me.”

Lin Ruan nodded.

“The other box is from the master.” Uncle Tong looked at Lin Ruan. “Master treats you well. You should know your manners. Don’t be reckless just because he likes you. Be careful in your actions and conduct, and don’t let outsiders say that our Lan Mansion has no rules…”

Uncle Tong muttered a few words and left.

Lin Ruan went back to his room and looked at the box. Inside were pieces of foreign currency. He put the box in the desk drawer. Then, he picked up the velvet box, which contained a men’s wristwatch.

Lin Ruan didn’t know what it meant. Zhan Xi wouldn’t have bought it just to cheer him up.

Lin Ruan thought for a moment and found it amusing. He put the watch on his left wrist. The silver dial was exquisite and elegant.

Outside, Uncle Tong was arranging jade hairpin flowers on the back steps when he heard footsteps upstairs. He looked inside. Lin Ruan was running down the stairs.

“What are you going to do?” Uncle Tong asked.

Lin Ruan stopped. “I’m going to see my younger brother.”

Uncle Tong’s already stern face darkened further. “Don’t just give him money. Can you support him for life?”

Lin Ruan replied while running.

“I see your leg doesn’t hurt anymore!” Uncle Tong said. “You should kneel again!”

Today was Lin Man’s first day of primary school. In past years, Lin’s father was in poor health, so the family lived frugally. Over the past two years, however, his health has improved, allowing him to intermittently take on carpentry work. Combined with Lin Ruan’s contributions, they had saved enough for Lin Man’s schooling.

Lin Ruan walked along the road, thinking about what to buy for Lin Man. At the intersection, two yellow dogs were fighting, and a shop assistant chased them away with a broom. After counting ten steps, Lin Ruan found himself in front of a cake shop.

He thought for a moment and went inside.

A strong scent of sweet cream filled the air upon entering. He approached the counter. A young clerk asked, “Sir, what would you like?”

Lin Ruan glanced at the display. The cakes were exquisite. He asked, “Any recommendations?”

The clerk asked, “What kind of cake do you need? Is it for a birthday?”

“No,” Lin Ruan replied. “It’s for my younger brother. Today is his first day of school.”

The clerk understood and recommended a six-inch chocolate fruit cake. Lin Ruan nodded to indicate his selection, but before he could speak, a voice came from beside him: “I suggest you choose another one.”

Lin Ruan looked over and saw a fortune-teller in a black robe enter. His peach blossom–shaped eyes rested on Lin Ruan for a moment, lightly hooking him like a charm.

The fortune-teller glanced at the display. “The hazelnut cake tastes a bit better than the chocolate one.”

Lin Ruan’s gaze returned to the cakes. After hesitating, he said, “Then I’ll take the hazelnut cake.”

Before the clerk could respond, the fortune-teller smiled. “Do you always do exactly what I say? How do you know I’m not tricking you?”

Lin Ruan was stunned. The clerk looked at the fortune-teller as if he were crazy. The fortune-teller, however, leisurely watched Lin Ruan, noting the hesitation in his eyes and eyebrows.

The fortune-teller laughed heartily, then stopped looking at Lin Ruan. He asked the clerk for a piece of hazelnut cake, then sat at a small table.

Lin Ruan still hadn’t chosen. The fortune-teller called out, “Come sit.”

Lin Ruan hesitated, but eventually walked over.

The fortune-teller ate cake with a small spoon, his left hand resting casually on the table. His wrist, adorned with an agate bracelet, looked very pale.

The fortune-teller gave Lin Ruan a small spoon. “I’ll let you eat.”

Lin Ruan took the spoon but didn’t move.

The fortune-teller looked at him and mocked, “Can’t eat something from a stranger? Did your family teach you not to talk to strangers?”

Lin Ruan pursed his lips and used the spoon to eat the cake. It was delicious: sweet cream paired with whole nuts. Every bite was fragrant and sweet.

For some reason, the fortune-teller stopped moving and watched Lin Ruan eat. “When I was young, I knew a very obedient child. Whatever others said, he did. My master said that child was clever and obedient and would have a good life. But I didn’t believe it because I was completely different. I never did what adults told me and got beaten a lot.”

Lin Ruan looked at the fortune-teller, who propped his head up. “If obedient children have good lives, then I, being the opposite, won’t. Later, that child left. I don’t know if he remained obedient, but I was always rebellious. I’ve lived until now, and life’s been pretty good.”

Lin Ruan asked, “What about that obedient child?”

The fortune-teller grinned. “That obedient child became a fool who couldn’t make choices.”

Lin Ruan’s face immediately fell.

The fortune-teller laughed heartily, as if he had told a very funny joke. Lin Ruan frowned. He really wanted to ask the clerk if the fortune-teller was crazy.

He went to the counter. The clerk asked him what he wanted, but he fell silent again.

“What are you afraid of?” the fortune-teller asked, placing a hand on the back of the chair.

“I’m not afraid,” said Lin Ruan. “Choices should be made carefully.”

“Wrong,” the fortune-teller replied. “Choices are casual. Choose as you like.”

Lin Ruan frowned and looked at the fortune-teller. “What if I choose wrong?”

“There’s no right or wrong when it comes to choices,” the fortune-teller said casually. “Both chocolate cake and hazelnut cake are fine.”

Lin Ruan paused. “What if I regret it?”

The fortune-teller laughed. “Most people regret their choices. Some regret it as they leave, some regret it after eating it, and some remember it much later and think, ‘I should have bought the hazelnut cake instead of the chocolate cake.’”

The fortune-teller looked at Lin Ruan with a smile. “Why get stuck on regret? It’s not a big deal.”

Lin Ruan was stunned. Zhan Xi had told him that one must take responsibility for one’s actions and choices, so every choice should be made carefully and without regret.

Lin Ruan was deeply moved. He wanted to ask Zhan Xi if he had never regretted anything and if he knew how many people did.

Lin Ruan finally bought the hazelnut cake. When he came to, the fortune-teller had disappeared. He always appeared and disappeared suddenly. Lin Ruan didn’t know where the fortune-teller came from, why he had come, where he was going, or when he would appear again.

Outside, Lin Ruan realized that the cake shop faced the Zhexian Building. The last time he had seen the fortune-teller was here, next to the cake shop, where he had played piano music and erhu.

Lin Ruan took the six-inch hazelnut cake to the Lin family and stayed until evening. Lin Man loved the cake and was extremely happy. As he was leaving, Lin Ruan asked if he liked it. Lin Man nodded enthusiastically.

Lin Ruan asked if he liked chocolate cake. Lin Man thought for a moment and said he liked both. Lin Ruan laughed and promised to bring him a chocolate cake for his birthday.

Lin Ruan returned to Lan Mansion at night. The sky was full of stars, forming a galaxy and hanging silently above. As he walked, the stars seemed to follow him, though it was only an illusion.

From a distance, Lin Ruan saw someone standing by the gate of the mansion. As he got closer, he realized it was Shi Ning. He walked over and asked, “Why are you standing here?”

Shi Ning sighed in relief. “You’re back late. Sir is in a bad mood today. Go accompany him.”

Lin Ruan looked confused. “I dare not approach him. I caused trouble yesterday.”

Shi Ning didn’t say more. “Just go.”

Shi Ning pulled Lin Ruan inside. On the way, Lin Ruan asked, “Did you wear what Sir gave you today?”

Lin Ruan showed his left hand. “I wore it.”

Shi Ning nodded. “Sir personally chose it for you. It’s not as good as the pocket watch before, but it’s still top-notch.” He recalled something and asked, “Why don’t you wear that pocket watch? He personally designed it; it’s truly unique.”

Lin Ruan paused. “I’m wearing it, I’m just not showing it.”

Shi Ning glanced at him meaningfully. “Sir thought you didn’t like pocket watches.”

Lin Ruan paused, and Shi Ning said no more. Lin Ruan was about to go upstairs when Shi Ning stopped him. “Sir is in the greenhouse.”

Lin Ruan turned and walked to the back greenhouse.

The garden path was lined with lamps that glowed like a ribbon in the dark. At the end was the glass greenhouse.

It was large, with shelves holding all kinds of flowers. Even in the dead of winter, flowers bloomed inside.

Near the glass wall was an open space with a glass table and three chairs, as well as a rattan hanging basket on one side.

Lin Ruan pushed open the glass door. The greenhouse was brightly lit. Zhan Xi sat in a chair playing the jinghu[mfn]京胡 (jinghu) → A traditional Chinese two-stringed bowed instrument used mainly in Peking Opera. It produces a high-pitched, piercing sound and is often used to accompany arias or dramatic scenes.[/mfn] and performing “Ye Shen Chen” from Farewell My Concubine[mfn]《夜深沉》 (Ye Shen Chen) : “Deep in the Night” or “Night is Deep and Still.” This is an aria from the Beijing opera Farewell My Concubine (霸王別姬 / Bàwáng Bié Jī). In the opera, it is a highly emotional piece, full of tragedy and heroic sorrow, often performed with intense expressiveness.[/mfn]. As he played, the piece overflowed with a sense of ferocity, while the original tragic grandeur was much subdued.

Zhan Xi played the instrument. During the emperor’s reign, the Manchus had no worries about food or clothing. They spent their days raising fish and dogs, growing flowers, fighting crickets, drinking tea, and listening to opera. Almost every Manchu could sing a few lines, and Zhan Xi was no exception.

He could sing opera. His mother was the best singer in the palace, rivaling famous performers. However, she couldn’t perform outside due to her status. Singing inside held no significance. Listeners couldn’t appreciate her skill, they only said that she had lost her status.

Under his mother’s influence, Zhan Xi learned to play the jinghu and mastered it. Famous performers invited him to perform with them. He rarely accepted, only when he was in a good mood.

“What are you sneaking around for?” Zhan Xi asked without looking up. “It’s cold outside. Come inside to talk.”

Lin Ruan entered the greenhouse, which was filled with the mixed fragrance of flowers.

Zhan Xi glanced at him. “Just got back?”

Lin Ruan nodded and sat cross-legged at his feet. The carpet was soft and more comfortable than a chair.

Zhan Xi frowned at Lin Ruan. Lin Ruan looked up. The air smelled of flowers. He looked so obedient. Without saying a word, Zhan Xi’s expression softened.

“Does your leg still hurt?” Zhan Xi asked.

Lin Ruan shook his head and showed him his left hand. “Thank you for the gift, sir.”

Zhan Xi took his hand. Lin Ruan’s hand was fair with long fingers and soft palms. Truly a beautiful hand.

Strangely, Lin Ruan wasn’t a exactly stunning, yet his body, porcelain-like, was perfectly proportioned.

He looked at Zhan Xi, wanting to speak but hesitating. Zhan Xi asked, “Trouble on your mind?”

Lin Ruan replied, “I met the fortune-teller today.”

Zhan Xi paused, cleaning the strings with rosin. He glanced at Lin Ruan.

Lin Ruan hurriedly explained the encounter.

“He said most people regret… It’s not a big deal.”

Zhan Xi’s voice was calm. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know.” Lin Ruan looked at the carpet fibers. “Does Sir have no regrets?”

Zhan Xi paused. “Regret means knowing you lost something and can never get it back.” He looked at Lin Ruan, his eyes softening. “That feeling isn’t pleasant. I don’t want you to have many regrets one day.”

Lin Ruan seemed puzzled. “Then what should I do? I don’t even know how to choose.”

“Perhaps,” Zhan Xi said, “the fortune-teller meant that worrying about regret before making a choice is meaningless. You never know what the next moment will bring. After making a choice, don’t worry about regret. Look forward.”

Zhan Xi looked at Lin Ruan. “Try to make choices. Don’t worry about regret now. Even if something happens, I’m here.”

Lin Ruan looked at Zhan Xi. His gentle demeanor made his heart race, like a hand gently kneading it—both sour and sweet. He wanted to speak, but he didn’t know how.

Surprised, Zhan Xi wiped away Lin Ruan’s tears. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” Lin Ruan replied, surprised by his own reaction. “I feel like I have something to say, but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m missing something. I…”

Lin Ruan grew anxious. Zhan Xi pinched the back of his neck, a familiar gesture that relaxed him gradually.

At that moment, Lin Ruan still didn’t know that this feeling was called a heart flutter—called joy.