PTBLSI chapter 43

 

Sunset didn’t last long. Before long, the coastline darkened. Qi Xi lowered his tiptoes, and the last bit of light reflected the silver thread pulled apart between their lips.

“Let’s go back.”

Fu Yanchuan held Qi Xi’s hand and carefully led him down from the reef. Back at the villa, they ate dinner. It wasn’t that cold tonight, so Qi Xi insisted on going for a walk. He strolled along the road outside the house for a while.

When he came back, he was still chilled. He curled up in front of the fireplace and refused to move until he started yawning. Fu Yanchuan put down the tablet he was reading and helped Qi Xi up.

“Go shower. Go to sleep.”

Qi Xi suddenly stared straight at Fu Yanchuan for a long while before getting off the sofa. “Then I’ll go shower. When I’m done, you should go soon, too.”

Fu Yanchuan watched Qi Xi enter the bedroom. He didn’t go back for the tablet but instead stood up and returned to the bedroom. He sat on the bed and waited for Qi Xi to finish showering.

Qi Xi didn’t expect Fu Yanchuan to be sitting there, still looking toward the bathroom door. His bathrobe belt wasn’t tied properly when he jumped out. Seeing Fu Yanchuan, he instinctively pulled it tighter.

“Come here.”

Fu Yanchuan reached out to him. Qi Xi tugged at the bathrobe again before walking over. Fu Yanchuan placed both hands on Qi Xi’s waist, lifted his face, and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Suddenly, Qi Xi climbed onto Fu Yanchuan’s lap, wrapped his arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest.

In such a trusting and intimate position, Fu Yanchuan unconsciously tightened his hold on Qi Xi, his voice softening naturally. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to hug you.”

In reality, Qi Xi thought he was useless. Fu Yanchuan had brought him out of his way to travel and stay in such a beautiful place—he must have wanted to sleep with him. But Qi Xi had acted out just from looking, and Fu Yanchuan hadn’t disliked him at all. In fact, he had been considerate and still treated Qi Xi well. Qi Xi felt very sorry for Fu Yanchuan.

“All right. Sleep.”

Fu Yanchuan noticed that the warmth from Qi Xi’s freshly washed body was dissipating, so he picked him up and put him in bed.

Seeing him about to leave, Qi Xi quickly grabbed his hand. “Brother Yan, come quickly. I’m cold by myself.”

Fu Yanchuan paused for a moment and leaned down as if he were about to kiss him, but only brushed his lips faintly. He moved his hand to Qi Xi’s neck and gently rubbed his Adam’s apple with his fingertip. After a long while, he lightly pressed a kiss to Qi Xi’s lips. “Sleep.”

Qi Xi didn’t know when Fu Yanchuan had come to bed. When he woke up, Fu Yanchuan was already in the kitchen making breakfast.

After breakfast, he took Qi Xi to a small seaside town.

The pure white buildings were covered in snow. At first glance, everything was white. Qi Xi had never seen a place like this before. Excited, he ran around everywhere while Fu Yanchuan followed behind at an easy pace.

After finishing the tour of the town, Qi Xi took many photos of the scenery and of Fu Yanchuan.

They also went beachcombing, though Fu Yanchuan watched while Qi Xi searched. In the end, Qi Xi only picked up two dead starfish.

“So cold! Not going anymore.”

Qi Xi tossed the starfish away and jumped into Fu Yanchuan’s arms, slipping his hands inside his coat. Fu Yanchuan cooperated and let him do so.

At noon, they enjoyed a seafood meal freshly pulled from the sea. Then, they took a cruise out to sea. When they returned, Qi Xi thought the day’s activities were over. However, as soon as he stepped inside, he noticed a difference in the house.

An exquisite dinner had been set on the table, with a large bouquet of fresh red roses in the middle. The windows were also adorned with star lights.

“Brother Yan, is it your birthday?”

Qi Xi asked, looking curiously at Fu Yanchuan. Fu Yanchuan pushed him into his seat and said, “No.”

“Then what is it?”

Fu Yanchuan didn’t answer. He left for the bedroom and, after a while, came back with a cello. He sat down across from Qi Xi.

Qi Xi immediately remembered that two days ago, he had said he wanted to hear Fu Yanchuan play. Surprise spread across his face. “Brother Yan, did you prepare this especially for me?”

Fu Yanchuan didn’t respond. He smiled slightly at Qi Xi and began to play. In an instant, the house was filled with the cello’s low, gentle sound.

Qi Xi didn’t understand music. He just thought it sounded good and that Fu Yanchuan was playing it just for him. He couldn’t suppress the smile on his face as he gazed off into the distance.

Fu Yanchuan raised his eyes to meet his. This became the most beautiful scene of the entire trip.

When the piece ended, Fu Yanchuan put down his cello, walked up to Qi Xi, and bent down to ask, “Do you like it?”

Qi Xi hooked both arms around Fu Yanchuan’s neck and answered, “I like it! Brother Yan, you play so beautifully! Can you play it again? I forgot to record it just now.”

Under normal circumstances, if someone asked him to redo a program he had just finished, he would probably make sure that person never appeared in front of him again.

But, faced with Qi Xi’s expectant eyes, he readily agreed. “Okay.”

And so, Fu Yanchuan listened to his own playing all night. When Qi Xi ate, he put his phone next to him to play it. Even sitting by the fireplace to warm up, he held his phone up to play it.

Fu Yanchuan was already tired of it, yet Qi Xi came to him and said, “Brother Yan, how can you play so well? Am I the only one who listens to you like this?”

“No.”

Qi Xi was instantly disappointed. Then he continued, “The first was my mom. You’re the second.”

“Then that’s… fine! Second is still one of only two. I’m amazing!”

“Amazing at what?”

Qi Xi laughed and nudged over. He lay arrogantly across Fu Yanchuan’s legs. “I’m amazing at how Brother Yan treats me so well! I’m one of Brother Yan’s only two!”

Fu Yanchuan lowered his head and leaned close to Qi Xi. “Then what do you want to do?” he asked.

Qi Xi finally put down his phone. The cello music was still playing. He blinked his peach-blossom eyes, which rippled like water, and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

“Mm.”

Fu Yanchuan paused and waited, letting Qi Xi lift his neck and kiss him. Only then did he cradle Qi Xi’s head, pressing down to kiss him deeply in return. His other hand gripped Qi Xi’s waist tightly, as if branded there—touching nowhere else yet burning hot.

Instead, Qi Xi felt like something was missing. He reached for Fu Yanchuan’s hand, trying to guide it inside his clothes. However, Fu Yanchuan caught his hand and pressed it there. Then, Fu Yanchuan became even more unrestrained, moving inside his mouth as if he wanted to kiss him until he couldn’t get up anymore.

Qi Xi couldn’t help but grab the collar of Fu Yanchuan’s clothes, trembling slightly. However, Fu Yanchuan loosened his hold and pulled away. The silver thread clinging between their lips was torn apart. Qi Xi looked up and softly called out,

“Brother Yan.”

Fu Yanchuan wiped away the wet trace left by the broken silver thread with his fingertip and smeared it onto Qi Xi’s Adam’s apple. His breath wrapped around Qi Xi like tentacles. Yet he said in a light, hoarse voice, “It’s time to sleep.”

Qi Xi didn’t move. Even when Fu Yanchuan told him to shower, he didn’t let go; he just stared fixedly at him. His hand was still pinned against Qi Xi’s waist, fingers squeezed in between and tightly interlocked.

He lightly rolled his Adam’s apple, brushing against the fingertip that Fu Yanchuan was pressing there. Only then did Fu Yanchuan help him up.

“Go.”

Qi Xi felt Fu Yanchuan’s hand slowly release him. Only then did he finally get off the sofa.

Fu Yanchuan watched Qi Xi leave. But when he reached the bedroom door, Qi Xi suddenly ran back. He jumped onto Fu Yanchuan’s lap, hugged him, and said, “Brother Yan, do you want to cover my eyes? If I can’t see, I won’t be nervous.”

After saying that, Qi Xi looked at Fu Yanchuan without moving. Fu Yanchuan suddenly covered his eyes, leaned in close, and said, “You’ll regret it.”

Qi Xi looked at Fu Yanchuan through the gaps in his fingers and asked doubtfully, “How do you know?”

After two seconds, Fu Yanchuan answered. “Qi Xi, did you think it was just about seeing?”

“I’m going to shower!”

Qi Xi suddenly jumped down. This time, he didn’t even look at Fu Yanchuan before running off.

The flight back was at noon. Qi Xi had gotten up early, but he was feeling lazy. Fu Yanchuan didn’t wake him and let him sleep until he naturally woke up. Then, he packed his things and headed to the airport.

On the second day after Qi Xi returned, Xie Hui came back to the country. After catching up with Qi Tian Dasheng, Qi Xi immediately wanted to find Xie Hui.

Seeing how eager Qi Xi was to see someone else, Fu Yanchuan pulled him back at the door and stared at him for a while. In the end, he only said, “Come back early.”

“No way! I have so many things to tell Xie Hui. I won’t be back for dinner tonight. Don’t wait for me! Bye.”

After saying that, Qi Xi put on his shoes and started to leave, but Fu Yanchuan pulled him back. Qi Xi turned around and asked, “Do you want to come with me?”

Fu Yanchuan had been away for several days and had things to take care of at the group. He replied, “We’ll go downstairs together.”

Qi Xi finally wasn’t in such a hurry to leave. As he watched Fu Yanchuan put on his shoes extremely slowly, he asked, “Brother Yan, does your foot hurt?”

Fu Yanchuan shoved his foot straight into the shoe. Then he pulled Qi Xi over, locked him in his arms, bit the corner of his lip, and said, “Come back early.”

Qi Xi replied, “I’ll try to come back earlier.”

Fu Yanchuan still looked dissatisfied. Suddenly, Qi Xi stood on tiptoe and kissed him. “Don’t be like Dasheng. I’m coming back. Be good and wait for me.”

“Mm.”

Fu Yanchuan still didn’t sound satisfied, but he finally released Qi Xi. At the garage, he put Qi Xi in the car and only turned back after watching it drive away.

Qi Xi and Xie Hui met at a hot pot restaurant they used to go to in high school. Xie Hui was waiting at the entrance. As soon as Qi Xi got out of the car, he pounced on him. He hung onto Xie Hui and said, “Xie Hui, I missed you so much! How did you get taller again? Didn’t we agree you’d wait until I grew to the same height?”

Xie Hui felt like his neck was about to be strangled. He slapped Qi Xi’s back hard. “Qi Xi, let go! Are you trying to murder me?”

Qi Xi hurriedly released him and landed back on the ground, patting Xie Hui’s chest. “Still breathing. You won’t die!”

Xie Hui raised his hand as if he were about to slap Qi Xi, but he smiled at him fearlessly. Instead, his hand landed on Qi Xi’s head. Glancing at the car Qi Xi had arrived in, he said, “Go in. I already ordered.”

Back in high school, neither of them had money. Xie Hui worked part-time jobs and lived frugally, buying paint and cat food for Qi Xi and often taking him out for hot pot. Many times, Xie Hui felt like Qi Xi was the son he had had too early.

They sat in the same corner they always used to. The pot bubbled as it cooked dishes Qi Xi liked. As soon as Qi Xi sat down, Xie Hui handed him a soda with a straw.

After his last bout of gastroenteritis, Fu Yanchuan hadn’t allowed him to eat hot pot or drink soda anymore. Qi Xi immediately picked up the bottle and said to Xie Hui, “Quick, cheers!”

Xie Hui sat across from him, clinking bottles and observing him. Qi Xi looked better than before and seemed to have gained weight. Xie Hui couldn’t help but wonder if Fu Yanchuan had actually been taking good care of him.

Qi Xi drank half the bottle in one go and started talking to Xie Hui. “I just got back from that place called…what’s it called? It snowed there. It was by the sea. There were swans. The seafood was delicious! Should we go sometime? I’ll take you to see the swans!”

Wanting to give a more vivid description, Qi Xi quickly took out his phone and showed Xie Hui the photos he had taken over the past few days.

With one hand blanching food for Qi Xi and the other flipping through the photos, Xie Hui was happy at first. They were all scenery and swans—until the next photo was suddenly of Fu Yanchuan.

Xie Hui immediately frowned and examined Fu Yanchuan closely. He had to admit, he was really handsome. Qi Xi wasn’t smart, but he always had good taste. He couldn’t pinpoint what was appealing about him, but from childhood to now, whatever Qi Xi chose always looked good.

After looking through the photos, he put the phone down and stared at Qi Xi. “Do you really like him?”

Qi Xi nodded while eating. “I like him. Don’t you think he’s really handsome?”

The tripe that Xie Hui was holding fell into the pot. He asked Qi Xi, “What do you like about him? Handsome?”

“Yes! He treats me well, he’s taught me a lot, he’s capable and outstanding, and he can play the cello.”

Qi Xi said this very smoothly. Xie Hui picked up another piece of tripe, blanched it, and put it in Qi Xi’s bowl. Then he suddenly asked, “Do you like me?”

Qi Xi nodded without hesitation. “I do. Are you jealous?”

Xie Hui was so angry that he drank a whole bottle of soda. He only spoke after burping. “What’s the difference between liking him and liking me?”

Qi Xi was stumped. He stopped eating and thought about it for a long time but still couldn’t find an answer. Instead, he asked Xie Hui, “Does there have to be a difference?”

Xie Hui stood up straight, leaned over the table, grabbed Qi Xi’s head, and shook it hard. “Qi Xi, you idiot, dumbass, big moron! You don’t understand anything, yet you’re learning from others how to talk about feelings? You like him my ass! Go break up with him right now!”

“Stop shaking me! My brain is about to fall out!”

Qi Xi pulled Xie Hui’s hands down. Xie Hui angrily sat back down, crossed his arms, and looked at Qi Xi critically. “Liking someone you’re in love with is different from liking a friend. You can’t even explain the difference between liking him and liking me. That means you only like him because he treats you well and is handsome. You’re grateful to him. At most, you just treat him as a friend. Understand?”

“But—” Qi Xi tilted his head in confusion and sized up Xie Hui seriously. “When he kisses me, I get…!”

“What?!”

Xie Hui slammed his palm on the table, startling the people at the neighboring table. Although he had long suspected that Fu Yanchuan wasn’t an upright gentleman and that his relationship with Qi Xi wasn’t just for show, hearing it from Qi Xi’s mouth still made him furious.

He tried hard to suppress his anger. Leaning close to Qi Xi, he said, “Idiot! Even if a man gets licked by a dog, he’ll get in! This is totally normal!”

Qi Xi thought about it seriously, then suddenly had a flash of inspiration. Leaning close to Xie Hui, he whispered, “Then why don’t you kiss me and see? See if I react?”

“Qi Xi! Believe it or not, I’ll beat you up! You’ve learned bad things from him!”

Xie Hui shoved Qi Xi back into his seat and angrily prepared food for him nonstop. Only when Qi Xi’s bowl was nearly overflowing did Xie Hui finally calm down.

Qi Xi looked like he hadn’t thought anything through. He happily ate everything, and when the spice hit him, he shouted, “I finished my soda, Xie Hui!”

Silently, Xie Hui went to get another bottle of soda, opened it, put in a straw, and handed it over. After he calmed down, he asked, “Let me rephrase the question. Does he like you?”

“You mean Brother Yan?”

“Yes! Brother Yan!”

Qi Xi nodded firmly. “Of course he likes me!”

But after saying that, he lost his confidence and asked Xie Hui, “He treats me so well. That means he must like me, right?” Otherwise, why would he pick me as a stand-in? He must like me to pick me, right?”

Xie Hui took a deep breath before responding, “Are you stupid?! He picked you as a stand-in because he likes his white moonlight. He’s only treating you well because of the white moonlight. Even if he likes you, it’s only because you look like someone else. Listen to me. Go back and break up with him!”

“But, but—”

Qi Xi looked reluctant as he told Xie Hui, “He promised he wouldn’t abandon me. I can’t leave him either. I was a stand-in to begin with. There’s nothing wrong with him liking me because I’m a stand-in. He took me to see swans and played the cello just for me. He didn’t play it for his ‘white moonlight’! I’m second only to his mom!”

Xie Hui cursed harshly in his heart. It was clear that he had a crush on that Fu guy. For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. But how could this kind of one-track-minded idiot possibly win against Fu Yanchuan?

After thinking about it for a long time, he asked Qi Xi, “If one day his white moonlight comes back, are you sure he’ll still choose you?”

Qi Xi froze instantly, like a doll. He had never considered this possibility. With his eyes wide open, he suddenly realized and said to Xie Hui, “Right! This kind of plot happens in comics too! What should I do if his white moonlight comes back and wants to take him from me?”

“How would I know what you should do?”

Qi Xi angrily took two gulps of soda and continued eating. “It’s fine. If Brother Yan really insists on being with his ‘white moonlight,’ then I just won’t be his stand-in anymore!”

What Xie Hui was afraid of was that Qi Xi wouldn’t be able to do it as easily as he said he would. Qi Xi seemed not to take anything to heart, but he was actually extremely stubborn.

Back then, he had only told the teacher because Qi Xi was in too much pain. From that point on, however, Qi Xi held nothing back with him—he was the kind of person who would give him the last steamed bun if the world were ending.

With someone like Fu Yanchuan, Xie Hui didn’t believe in love until death. Even if Fu Yanchuan really liked Qi Xi, he would probably tire of him before long. Xie Hui told Qi Xi, “He was nice to you because of someone else in the first place. He doesn’t really like you. You’d better leave him now. Otherwise, when his white moonlight really comes back, you’ll be heartbroken!”

“I won’t!”

Qi Xi didn’t take Xie Hui’s words to heart at all. Xie Hui just liked nagging him. He treated what Xie Hui said as background noise—Xie Hui talked, and he ate.

Later, they talked about him making money from drawing. Only then did Xie Hui stop lecturing him and praise him for a long time.

Smugly, Qi Xi said to Xie Hui, “From now on, Brother Qi Xi will take care of you. Just tell me whatever you want!”

Xie Hui stared at him for a long time. His eyes suddenly felt wet. He turned his head, wiped his eyes, and looked back. “I don’t want anything. I just hope you’ll always be as happy as you are now.”

“That won’t do!”

Qi Xi refused firmly. After they finished eating hot pot, he dragged Xie Hui to the mall. Whenever Xie Hui glanced at something, Qi Xi insisted on buying it.

Xie Hui followed behind, constantly putting things back. In the end, Qi Xi bought a pile of stuff and insisted that Xie Hui take it home. Xie Hui, feeling helpless, accepted and sent Qi Xi back to his residential complex.

As he was leaving, he told Qi Xi, “Remember this: whoever falls in love first loses. Even if you’re going to be with Fu Yanchuan, you must not fall in love with him.”

Qi Xi tilted his head. “What’s the difference between love and liking?”

Xie Hui said with relief, “You’re better off not knowing the difference. Then you’ll win.”

Qi Xi didn’t want to compare wins and losses with Fu Yanchuan. He perfunctorily answered Xie Hui, saw him off to take a taxi, and then went upstairs.

It was almost 9 o’clock. Qi Xi hummed as he entered the apartment. When he saw Fu Yanchuan in the living room, he ran over and jumped onto him.

“Brother Yan, I’m back!”

Fu Yanchuan smelled the hot pot scent on Qi Xi and took off his coat. “Did you have fun with Xie Hui?”

“Yeah.”

Qi Xi couldn’t hide the smile in his eyes. “The last time I saw Xie Hui was during summer vacation. He didn’t come back the year he left, so I didn’t see him for a whole year. He even got taller. He used to be just as short as me. Is it because the food abroad is different? Oh, right! He even brought me a gift!”

As Qi Xi spoke, he went to get the gift that Xie Hui had brought him. However, Fu Yanchuan pressed his hand down. “I didn’t ask for that much.”

“Then what do you want me to say?”

Fu Yanchuan pulled Qi Xi over, seated him on his lap, and then spoke. “Say that you missed me.”

Qi Xi answered honestly, “But I didn’t miss you.”

Fu Yanchuan suddenly tightened his grip. He leaned in and lightly sucked on Qi Xi’s lips. “I missed you.”

 

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