WBAI Chapter 41

“Good evening,” Xie An’yu responded, his gaze involuntarily drawn to Yu Feng’s hands.

Yu Feng’s hands looked even paler against the black tie, his fingers long and slender.

“You’re about to go on stage to accept the award, right?” Zhou Yi asked.

Yu Feng gave a noncommittal hum and glanced at the camera. “Why are you with him?”

“I’m still at your place,” Zhou Yi said.

“Why are you video-calling me?”

“To give you a live broadcast of our feast today.” Zhou Yi stood up with the phone, pulling the camera back to show the snow crab dishes on the table. “What do you think? Jealous?”

While adjusting his tie, Yu Feng gave the spread a once-over. “You stayed at my place for a free meal?”

“What’s wrong with that? I ran errands for you—staying for a meal isn’t too much to ask, is it?” Zhou Yi held the phone over the table, panning the camera across each dish for a full close-up. “Xiao Xie made all of these. Pretty impressive, huh?”

Yu Feng was a little surprised. “Didn’t I tell you to hire a chef? You not only mooched a meal but also exploited free labor?”

“Couldn’t refuse Xiao Xie’s gracious invitation.” Zhou Yi said, switching to the front camera. “Xiao Xie is way more sensible than you. Knows how to be self-sufficient. Unlike you—you’re just a spendthrift.”

“Pay for the meal before you leave.”

“Even if I offered, Xiao Xie wouldn’t take it.” Zhou Yi glanced at Xie An’yu. “Right, Xiao Xie?”

Xie An’yu was zoning out and only nodded after a two-second delay. Zhou Yi doubted he’d even been listening.

Xie An’yu was indeed a little distracted. He didn’t know why his mind kept replaying the image of Yu Feng adjusting his tie earlier. Maybe it was the first time he’d seen Yu Feng in a full suit—the visual impact was a bit overwhelming.

“When are you coming back?” Zhou Yi asked Yu Feng.

“Tomorrow.” Yu Feng walked out of the bathroom with his phone. “Enjoy your feast. I’ve got to go.”

“Off to suffer, huh?” Zhou Yi chuckled. “Alright, won’t hold you up. Congrats in advance, Teacher Yu.”

After Zhou Yi hung up the call, Xie An’yu asked, “Suffer… what does that mean? What is Brother Yu doing?”

“He won an award in a photography competition and went to Haizhou to accept it. Your Brother Yu is an I person[mfn]i人 (i rén): (Internet slang) introvert; person with introverted personality type in the MBTI test. Here, ‘i’ represents “內向 (nèi xiàng)”in Chinese, derived from the word “introvert”, and ‘e’ represents “外向(wài xiàng)” in Chinese, derived from the word “extrovert”. Then, the terms “i 人(rén)” and “e人(rén)” have emerged. The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a self-report questionnaire that makes pseudoscientific claims to categorize individuals into 16 distinct “personality types” based on psychology. The test assigns a binary letter value to each of four dichotomous categories: introversion or extraversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling, and judging or perceiving.[/mfn]—standing on stage in front of a crowd to receive an award is basically torture for him.”

“An I person?”

Zhou Yi laughed, realizing Xie An’yu might not be familiar with the term. “Someone with a more reserved personality.”

“Really? He seems pretty outgoing to me.”

Zhou Yi smirked. “Guess he’s more relaxed around you.”

Xie An’yu hummed in agreement. “Sometimes he’s pretty sarcastic.”

It was mainly because no matter what Yu Feng said or did, he always carried a sense of calm and composure.

“Don’t be fooled by him. Adults are good at faking it,” Zhou Yi said, picking up a crab leg and looking at Xie An’yu. “He’s secretly a little wild.”

“Don’t be fooled by him. Adults are good at putting on acts.” Zhou Yi said, picking up a crab leg and glanced at Xie An’yu. “Him? Total mensao[mfn]悶騷 (mēn sāo): (neologism, of personality) having a smoldering sexuality; sultry; restraining oneself in appearance but abounding in fervor inside; shy on the outside but wild on the inside; outwardly cold or retiring but deep and passionate inside. A a popular internet term, which is the transliteration of the English word “Man Show”. It refers to people who look quiet, cold, or even dull outside, but inside they are volatile, charismatic, hot, and sexy. It may also be used to describe a person’s duplicitous personality, but mostly in the eulogistic sense.[/mfn].”

Halfway through the crab feast, Zhou Yi suddenly pulled out his phone to look up the photography competition Yu Feng had won.

“There’s a live stream? He didn’t even tell me,” Zhou Yi said, staring at his phone screen.

The live broadcast had already been running for half an hour. Yu Feng had won the gold prize and would be the last to receive his award—he hadn’t gone on stage yet.

The phone screen was too small to comfortably watch, so Zhou Yi rummaged around the living room and found Yu Feng’s iPad under the coffee table.

“Want to come watch together?” Zhou Yi asked Xie An’yu from the couch. “See your Brother Yu go on stage to receive his award.”

Xie An’yu immediately walked over.

Zhou Yi propped the tablet on the coffee table. The livestream connection was spotty—the host’s speech kept cutting out, even the audience applause came in broken fragments. The image froze on the audience seats for a full five seconds before cutting to the next shot where Yu Feng was already walking on stage.

Yu Feng’s usual clothes never showed off his figure, but now in fitted dress pants, his long legs were on full display.

“Gotta admit, in that suit he looks like a Korean oppa,” Zhou Yi chuckled.

Xie An’yu stared at the iPad screen without saying a word.

As the host announced the winner’s name, the winning work appeared on the big screen. Yu Feng normally photographed models and celebrities—in professional terms, his field was fashion photography. But the image displayed looked more like documentary photography, brimming with raw life, unlike anything Yu Feng would typically shoot.

“It’s probably been years since he won awards for photos like this,” Zhou Yi remarked, watching Yu Feng on screen.

Xie An’yu glanced at him.

The award ceremony moved quickly. After the announcement, Yu Feng took the trophy, posed for photos with sponsors and invited guests, then left the stage—not even giving an acceptance speech.

The host then read a few more lines, summarizing the charity photography competition’s purpose and significance. Multiple awards had been established, with proceeds from auctioning the winning works to be donated entirely to a foundation for hearing-impaired children.

“Does he prefer shooting this kind of photo?” Xie An’yu suddenly asked Zhou Yi.

He remembered Yu Feng mentioning he disliked portrait photography back in college—presumably meaning he didn’t enjoy staged photoshoots.

“He used to,” Zhou Yi paused. “Now though, he probably doesn’t care whether he likes it or not.”

Zhou Yi turned to Xie An’yu: “Want to see the photo that won Yu Feng a major award in college? That prize was far more prestigious than today’s.”

Xie An’yu nodded.

Zhou Yi exited the livestream and searched Yu Feng’s name with keywords. News about that award appeared immediately as the top result.

The news featured Yu Feng’s winning photograph. As Zhou Yi scrolled, Xie An’yu’s gaze instantly focused, staring transfixed at the image.

In the photo, a woman sat against a haystack nursing a baby—more accurately, an elderly woman with withered breasts. Her skin was dark, face weathered, head wrapped in a dusty scarf as she cradled the infant in her arms. Behind her was a golden wheat field.

Not far behind her stood an emaciated cow, its calf beneath it suckling at its udders with its head raised.

The photo was quite explicit; the camera didn’t shy away from the intimate parts of the woman.
Xie An’yu scanned downward—the photo’s bottom right corner bore its title and creator.
The work was titled 《Continuation》, its author: Yu Feng.

Zhou Yi looked at the photo and said, “Even now, I still find this photo quite shocking. It was taken when he was twenty… It’s been almost ten years already.”

Xie An’yu silently gazed at the photo.

“He always loved taking these kinds of shots, documentary-style ones. This was taken in Gansu. If Cheng Sheng hadn’t fallen ill back then, he probably would’ve traveled all over the country to take pictures.”

“His younger brother… passed away from illness?”

After a few seconds of silence, Zhou Yi replied solemnly, “He jumped into the sea.”

Xie An’yu turned his head abruptly, staring at Zhou Yi in shock.

“They never even found the body,” Zhou Yi added.

“Both of them were pitiful—him, and Yu Feng too. Sometimes, fate really just disgustingly cruel.”

Xie An’yu felt his throat go dry. “…Why did he commit suicide?”

Zhou Yi looked at Xie An’yu and said calmly, “What if I told you it was because of Yu Feng? Would you believe me?”

Xie An’yu stared at Zhou Yi in disbelief.

“Everyone thought it was because of him—even he believed it himself.” Zhou Yi let out a cold laugh. “He’s an idiot. If he weren’t such an idiot, he wouldn’t have to live such an exhausting life.”

Zhou Yi opened the coffee table drawer, deftly pulled out Yu Feng’s cigarettes, found a lighter, lit one, and took a deep drag.

“You know his brother wasn’t biologically related to him, right?” Zhou Yi exhaled smoke as he spoke. “Yu Feng’s dad passed away from illness when he was very young. Later, his mom remarried—that was Cheng Sheng’s biological father.”

“Yu Feng’s mom was a high school teacher. The guy was transferred to her school later—handsome, young, several years her junior. Eventually, they got together and married. When the guy brought Cheng Sheng into the marriage, the kid was just a toddler, not even old enough for kindergarten.”

Zhou Yi and Yu Feng had grown up together, living in the same neighborhood until Zhou Yi moved away after high school. Having been close since childhood, Zhou Yi knew Yu Feng’s family situation well. Yu Feng was eight years older than Cheng Sheng. When his mother remarried, he had just started middle school.

“That guy was nothing but a complete scumbag—good-looking and smooth-talking, sure, but that’s it. He cheated on Yu Feng’s mom within a few years of marriage, and with one of his own students.” Zhou Yi tapped ash into the ashtray. “Since he worked at the same school as Yu Feng’s mom, you can imagine how devastated she must’ve been.”

Xie An’yu frowned and asked, “What happened after that?”

“After that, the guy got fired. A few days later, he vanished into thin air.” Zhou Yi said. “He left alone—didn’t even take Cheng Sheng with him.”

“Imagine how much Yu Feng’s mom must’ve hated him. She had to endure all the gossip at school by herself.”

The incident had a profound impact on Wang Minying. Afterward, her personality changed drastically, and she developed a drinking problem—when she was drunk, she’d curse and lash out.

Zhou Yi took another drag and continued, “After Cheng Sheng’s dad left, she basically stopped caring about him. With a father like that, how could she treat the son well? But if she wouldn’t take care of him, Yu Feng couldn’t just abandon him either. Don’t be fooled by how well-off he is now—back in school, he was broke. He had to support himself and look after his brother. And because of Cheng Sheng, his mom even fell out with him. Their relationship has always been strained ever since…”

Xie An’yu frowned slightly. “So she just abandoned Brother Yu like that?”

“His mom quit her job at the school not long after and later found work at an educational institution tutoring kids. Half the money she earned went straight to alcohol—just keeping the two brothers fed and clothed was about all she managed.”

Cheng Sheng was practically raised single-handedly by Yu Feng from childhood, and the two were extremely close. However, Cheng Sheng had always been in poor health and developed acquired sensorineural deafness by the age of 10.

Because Yu Feng treated Cheng Sheng like his own younger brother, their mother grew to resent him too. No matter what Yu Feng did, she was always cold and harsh toward him. The relationship between mother and son grew increasingly strained, and even after Cheng Sheng passed away, there was no reconciliation.

Zhou Yi sneered. “He’s been taking care of kids since he was little—he’s not just a brother; he’s a father. Cheng Sheng was super clingy to him. He had no choice; he had no one else to depend on but Yu Feng.”

“Did you notice the glasses Yu Feng wears? Cheng Sheng saved up his money to buy them for him as a birthday gift. Those black-framed glasses were all the rage back then. He’s worn them for seven or eight years now and never replaced them.” Zhou Yi glanced at Xie An’yu. “Tell me, isn’t the heaven just cruel? The kid couldn’t even hear, and yet he wasn’t even allowed to live in peace.”

Xie An’yu asked softly, “He was sick?”

“Mm, seriously sick.” Zhou Yi nodded. “It happened right when Yu Feng got his job offer. There was this geography magazine he loved—its headquarters were overseas. You can probably guess what happened next. He took the higher-paying job and stayed in the country. But honestly, I don’t think he ever planned to leave Cheng Sheng behind and go abroad.”

“And because of that…” Xie An’yu found it difficult to speak. “…his brother took his own life?”

Zhou Yi’s lips twitched into a smile. “Pretty messed up, huh?”

Cheng Sheng was only 15 when he died. Yu Feng had just graduated from university.

Truthfully, Zhou Yi never believed that Cheng Sheng had a mental breakdown and committed suicide just because Yu Feng gave up his dreams for him. His world must have collapsed a long time ago. Yu Feng had rebuilt it for him—Cheng Sheng could endure his own suffering, but he couldn’t bear to watch Yu Feng compromise himself.

He just wanted release—for himself, and for Yu Feng.

But this method was truly too cruel to Yu Feng.

Zhou Yi stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray, his voice a little hoarse. “What an idiot. How could this possibly set your brother free…?”

“Yu Feng probably never told you about this, right?” Zhou Yi looked at Xie An’yu. “If he knew I spilled it all, he’d probably strangle me. But I think you should know.”

Zhou Yi paused for a moment before saying to Xie An’yu in a low voice, “He’s not as carefree as he seems. He’s carrying some deep wounds.”

***

Yu Feng flew back to Beicheng early the next morning from Haizhou. He hadn’t slept well the night before and was completely exhausted by the time he got home, collapsing onto the sofa and fall asleep the moment he stepped inside.

Xie An’yu hadn’t slept well either. Zhou Yi’s revelations about Yu Feng’s past weighed heavily on his mind all night.

His chest had felt so tight he could barely breathe.

By the time Yu Feng arrived home, Xie An’yu was still out on his morning run. He’d left before dawn and ran for hours, until sweat drenched his clothes and dripped from his brow.

When Xie An’yu opened the door and stepped inside, Yu Feng was still asleep on the sofa. It wasn’t until he reached the living room that he noticed the figure lying there—and froze mid-step.

Yu Feng had long since changed out of his crisp, tailored formal wear. Now dressed in a loose, comfortable hoodie, he lay sprawled on the sofa with his head tilted slightly, his expression completely relaxed.

Xie An’yu went to the bedroom to fetch a thin blanket and returned to the living room intending to cover Yu Feng with it. He draped the blanket over Yu Feng’s legs, then gently pulled the edges upward. As he reached Yu Feng’s chest, his gaze lingered on Yu Feng’s face.

Yu Feng’s glasses had been removed and placed on the coffee table, leaving his features clearly visible to Xie An’yu.

His eyelashes were quite long, and there was a tiny mole at the outer corner of his right eye—so small it was nearly impossible to see unless you got close.

His breathing was steady, his brow smooth and untroubled. He probably wasn’t dreaming, or at least not having any bad dreams.

There was a faint, pleasant scent on Yu Feng’s face. Whether it was because the fragrance was so alluring or not, Xie An’yu found himself unconsciously leaning in, nose twitching slightly as he inhaled, his face drifting closer and closer to Yu Feng’s.

Perhaps sensing Xie An’yu’s breath brushing against him, Yu Feng’s eyelashes fluttered slightly before his eyes slowly opened.

Xie An’yu’s pupils dilated in shock. He stared at Yu Feng, frozen in place for a solid ten seconds.

Yu Feng squinted, still a little dazed. In those ten seconds of Xie An’yu staring at him, his gaze gradually sharpened into focus.

“…Mm?” Yu Feng made a low sound, his voice raspy.

Xie An’yu’s mind went completely blank. In a panic, he yanked the blanket up and covered Yu Feng’s face with it.

It felt as though all the blood in his body had stopped moving, and his ears were so hot they felt like they were on fire.

Totally unrelated, but ever since I read somewhere that influential people usually use charity party and such to launder money or tax evasion, I could never view charity party the same again…

[dropdown title=”List of Idiom in Chapter 41″]
一覽無餘 (yī lǎn wú yú): to cover all at one glance (idiom); a panoramic view; to take in everything at a glance; to have an uninterrupted view; to see clearly at a glance without missing anything.

瘦骨嶙峋 (shòu gǔ lín xún): extremely skinny; emaciated (idiom); skin and bones; gaunt; skeletal; bony; cadaverous; describe a person or animal as being thin and bony.

徹頭徹尾 (chè tóu chè wěi): lit. from head to tail (idiom); thoroughgoing; through and through; out and out; from top to bottom; downright; to the core.

風言風語 (fēng yán fēng yǔ): groundless talk; slanderous gossip; gossip; rumors; hearsay; slander; idle talk; tittletattle; scuttlebutt; spread rumors; whisper; talk behind someone’s back ;unfounded, unkind, and sarcastic remarks. It has two meanings: one is unfounded rumors or malicious slander, and the other is informal statements spread privately or secretly.

冷言冷語 (lěng yán lěng yǔ): sarcastic comments (idiom); ironical remarks; cold words; cool remarks; mocking words; describe verbal behavior that expresses sarcasm or ridicule indirectly or indirectly. The core meaning of this idiom focuses on the negative nature of speech, referring to “making sarcastic remarks from the side or in the opposite direction”.
[/dropdown]

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