Yu Feng turned his head and gazed at Xie An’yu for a long time, his voice slightly hoarse when he spoke: “Why are you here?”
“Your mother brought me.”
Yu Feng was momentarily stunned.
“She drove your car and came to find me at home.”
Xie An’yu lowered his head slightly, speaking softly: “What’s wrong with you? Did something happen?”
Yu Feng rolled over, lying on his side to look at him: “It’s nothing.”
Xie An’yu touched his ear and hummed in acknowledgment, looking into his eyes as he said: “You can tell me when you feel like talking.”
Yu Feng wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him closer, and gently pressed their lips together.
The thought of Yu Feng’s mother still being outside made Xie An’yu instinctively feel somewhat guilty. But given the circumstances today, his mother must have already figured something out—otherwise, she wouldn’t have personally gone to Yu Feng’s home to find him.
“Brother,” Xie An’yu crouched by the bed, lowering his voice, “Auntie… does she already know about you and me?”
Yu Feng hummed affirmatively, stroking his face as he said: “She knows.”
“Did you tell her?”
“She asked, so I told her.”
“Can she accept it?” Xie An’yu felt uncertain, “Did she scold you?”
Yu Feng chuckled: “She’s known I like men for a long time. She already scolded me back then—she doesn’t scold me now.”
Yu Feng sat up, pulling Xie An’yu up with him, and pressed the switch on the wall to turn on the light. The room’s light had been there for over ten years, its glow dim, so turning it on suddenly didn’t feel harsh.
Yu Feng pulled Xie An’yu to sit on the bed. Xie An’yu took in the full view of the room and saw Cheng Sheng’s photo on the bookshelf. No wonder there were no traces of Cheng Sheng to be found in Yu Feng’s home—they were all hidden here.
Xie An’yu turned to look at Yu Feng: “How did Auntie find out? Did you tell her?”
Yu Feng said: “Someone else told her.”
Xie An’yu was taken aback. Besides Yu Feng himself, who else could have told his mother about such a thing?
“Who?”
“I don’t know,” Yu Feng said, “A student from high school. I don’t know exactly who.”
“You… came out publicly at school?”
Yu Feng laughed softly: “Why would I publicly announce something like that for no reason? I never came out publicly, but some people knew. Do you remember the older sister from across the hall last time we were here?”
Xie An’yu nodded: “She likes you.”
Yu Feng corrected him: “Liked me.”
He continued: “Back then, in our third year of high school, right before the college entrance exams, she brought this up with me.”
***
In the final year of high school, everyone had a rough idea of which universities they were aiming for. Liu Xinyun’s target school was in another city. She knew Yu Feng would definitely stay in Beicheng for college because of Cheng Sheng—it was inevitable they would go their separate ways after graduation. She had had a crush on Yu Feng for many years and was a well-behaved, rule-following student at school. It wasn’t until near the end of high school that she mustered the courage to confess her feelings to him. She knew that once they graduated and went to different cities, it would be hard to bring it up later. There were many girls who liked Yu Feng in high school, and there would only be more in college.
Back then, quite a few girls had confessed to Yu Feng. Rejecting them was simple—just a matter of a few words—but he had never used ‘liking men’ as a reason to turn them down.
Except with Liu Xinyun.
Liu Xinyun pressed him for a reason, her eyes red. In truth, Yu Feng had a good idea—he knew Liu Xinyun had probably liked him for a long time.
Liu Xinyun lived right across from his house. She was Aunt Chen’s daughter. He was very fond of Aunt Chen, and he and Liu Xinyun could be considered childhood friends.
He couldn’t brush her off with vague excuses—he had to give her a clear, definitive reason that would completely cut off her hopes.
It happened one evening after self-study class in the classroom. Their conversation was overheard by someone, and soon it spread—first among the students, then to the teachers, and finally reached Wang Minying’s ears.
Wang Minying taught at the same high school Yu Feng attended. After her second husband had an affair with a student and disappeared, she had already lost face at school. She never expected her son to stir up trouble again years later.
Fortunately, it was merely an unsubstantiated rumor. If the person involved hadn’t been Yu Feng, it might not have caused such an uproar. But since no one had ever actually seen Yu Feng ‘fooling around’ with any guy, a rumor without proof was just that—a rumor. In time, people stopped talking about it. The incident wasn’t really Liu Xinyun’s fault, but she felt very guilty afterward—that was just her nature, overly sensitive and prone to overthinking.
Cheng Sheng was attending a special needs school at the time. Yu Feng would go straight to the school to pick him up every day after school and bring him along to the evening study session. On the day Liu Xinyun confessed to Yu Feng, Cheng Sheng was there too, but Yu Feng had coaxed him into going to the school convenience store to buy cookies.
During that period, the relationship between Liu Xinyun and Yu Feng was delicate. Once, Cheng Sheng even saw her crying and apologizing to Yu Feng in the stairwell. Not understanding the situation, Cheng Sheng asked Yu Feng if he was dating Sister Xinyun from across the hall.
Yu Feng flicked his forehead and said, “Your brother doesn’t do early relationships.”
Cheng Sheng laughed, his eyes crinkling into slits.
***
Yu Feng was lost in memories again. When he tilted his head back to look at the photo on the bookshelf, Xie An’yu finally noticed the finger marks on his neck.
“What happened to your neck?” Xie An’yu’s tone was urgent, his expression instantly darkening. “Why is it bruised?”
Xie An’yu leaned in to examine the bluish marks on Yu Feng’s neck, his fingers brushing over them. Yu Feng pressed his hand down, thumb stroking his palm. “Cheng Sheng’s dad is back.”
Xie An’yu was stunned, his expression shocked: “Cheng Sheng’s dad?” He glanced sharply at Yu Feng’s neck. “Did he do this? He choked you?”
“It’s fine. I choked him back,” Yu Feng said. “Harder than he did me.”
Xie An’yu’s expression didn’t improve much. Yu Feng pinched his cheek. “You know I have pale skin, right? Even if you pinched me, it’d look like this. It’s just my skin.”
Yu Feng tried hard to lighten the mood, but Xie An’yu couldn’t muster a smile. He looked at him and said, “Now you admit you’re pale.”
“Why did he come back?” Xie An’yu frowned.
“He came looking for Cheng Sheng.”
Xie An’yu could roughly guess what had just happened and why Cheng Sheng’s father had attacked Yu Feng. Yu Feng must have told him about Cheng Sheng’s death straight out, and Cheng Sheng’s father had undoubtedly blamed Yu Feng for it again.
How could someone who hadn’t even been part of half of Cheng Sheng’s life have the right to criticize Yu Feng? He wasn’t even worthy to speak to Yu Feng.
“Judging by his appearance, he probably doesn’t have many days left to live,” Yu Feng said. “He was as thin as a ghost.”
“Heaven let him live this long—it was a mercy he didn’t deserve.” Xie An’yu’s face was cold. “How could he be so heartless?”
“Not everyone has a heart of flesh and blood.” Yu Feng grabbed Xie An’yu’s hand and squeezed his fingers. “There’s a difference between humans and beasts. There aren’t many people as bad as him, and there are very few as good as you.”
Xie An’yu held his hand. “Are you going back today? Or staying here?”
“Let’s go back.” Yu Feng looked at Xie An’yu’s fingers; the pads were a bit rough, probably from carving wood. “I can’t see you—when I see you, I want to go with you.”
Xie An’yu chuckled. “Then come with me.”
***
Wang Minying went to the kitchen to make tea and saw Yu Feng and Xie An’yu coming out of the room.
“Leaving?” Wang Minying asked.
“Mm.” Yu Feng nodded. “You should rest early.”
Wang Minying poured the brewed tea into the sink and said, “You should sleep early too.”
Yu Feng stood in the living room and said, “If he comes again, call me.”
“If he comes again, I’ll just call the police.” Wang Minying walked over. “Don’t think about this; live your own life well.”
Wang Minying glanced at Xie An’yu and said to him, “Wait outside. I have a few words to say to him.”
Xie An’yu hummed in agreement and went outside.
Wang Minying looked at Yu Feng, her expression not exactly serious, but her eyes revealing a hint of concern. “I don’t know what Cheng Liqun said to you, but whatever he said, treat it as bullshit. It’s always others who have wronged you; you’ve never wronged anyone.” She paused for a long time, struggling to speak. “Your life is your own. Don’t tie it to Cheng Sheng.”
She had wanted to say this for a long time but couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Yu Feng’s heart was closed off to everyone, especially to her. This wasn’t anyone’s fault; it was all her own doing.
Yu Feng nodded. “I know.”
Wang Minying felt a sense of relief she had never experienced before, and the corners of her mouth relaxed unconsciously, curling up slightly.
Yu Feng looked at his mother. “Let me tell you something.”
“Go ahead.”
Yu Feng glanced outside and said, “He has a name—it’s Xie An’yu. When you talk to him, be a bit gentler, don’t be so fierce.”
When Wang Minying had asked Xie An’yu to go outside earlier, she had been a bit stern, not even using a form of address. Back when she was a teacher, she was definitely in the strict category, and her students were all afraid of her.
Wang Minying’s mouth stiffened. “Was I fierce?”
“When you talk to him, it looks like you’re scolding a student.”
“You’re so particular. Are you afraid I’ll scare him out of his wits?” Wang Minying shot him a glance. “You sure know how to pick—you found someone so young.”
“I like him,” Yu Feng said.
Wang Minying frowned. “What about his parents? Do they have any objections?”
“His parents have already passed away.”
Wang Minying fell silent for a moment, sighed, and frowned as she looked at Yu Feng. “Take good responsibility.”
***
Xie An’yu stood obediently outside, not even playing on his phone, just staring blankly at the ground floor. Yu Feng walked out and gently patted the back of his head. “Let’s go.”
When they reached the parking spot downstairs, Yu Feng looked at the car in front of him and said, “She’s really bold. It’s been years since she last drove.”
Xie An’yu said, “Your mom drives pretty aggressively.”
Yu Feng turned to look at him. Xie An’yu stared back, his expression serious. “Really, she sped all the way.”
Yu Feng chuckled and hooked his finger under Xie An’yu’s chin. “Scared the poor kid half to death.”
Xie An’yu denied it. “Not at all.”
Happy New Year everyone!! Have a good one!
[dropdown title=”List of Idiom in Chapter 74.1″]
分道揚鑣 (fēn dào yáng biāo): lit. to take different roads and urge the horses on; to part ways; to part company; go separate ways; split up; diverge; take different paths; go different directions; break up; describe people with different interests and goals, each taking their own path. From the Book of Wei, chapter 14 (《魏書·神元平文諸帝子孫列傳第二》), where Emperor Xiaowen mediates between two officials arguing over their priority of passage. 高祖曰：「洛陽我之豐沛，自應分路揚鑣。自今以後，可分路而行。」, Emperor Gaozu said: “Luoyang is my territory, you should divide the road and urge your horses on. From now on, you can go separate ways.”循規蹈矩 (xún guī dǎo jǔ): to follow the compass and go with the set square (idiom); to follow the rules inflexibly; to act according to convention; to keep on the straight and narrow; to obey rules and laws; act in an orderly way/manner; follow rules/orders to the letter; follow the beaten path; be on (one’s) good/best behaviour; refers to sticking to the old principles and not daring to make slight changes.
銷聲匿跡 (xiāo shēng nì jì): to keep silent and lie low; to vanish (from the public eye); to disappear from the scene; to vanish without trace (idiom); disappear without a trace; vanish from sight; become silent and unseen; go underground; drop out of sight; fade into obscurity; to no longer speak publicly or show up in public. It describes hiding and not making a sound or showing up.
沸沸揚揚 (fèi fèi yáng yáng): bubbling and gurgling; hubbubing; abuzz; Noisy and tumultuous; Noisy like boiling water; Describe the noisy human voice.
指手畫腳 (zhǐ shǒu huà jiǎo): to gesticulate while talking (idiom); to explain by waving one’s hands; to criticize or give orders summarily; to gesticulate; to make gestures; (figuratively) to make indiscreet remarks or criticisms; make animated gestures while speaking; raise captious objections; describing the use of gestures when speaking, it also describes giving rash instructions, criticism, or giving orders at will.
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