TOYA chapter 50

Her question made Xia Xinghe freeze slightly.

Of course he had thought about it before, but since Qiu Guiyue suddenly brought it up, he didn’t know how to answer right away.

If he hadn’t been with Bai Qingzhou, he would have rushed back to his parents’ side without hesitation, settled down with them in his hometown, bought a house, lived quietly. Maybe he’d remain single, maybe he’d meet someone else. But since he was with Bai Qingzhou, he had to plan for the two of them.

In fact, ever since they first got together, Xia Xinghe had thought about the future more than once—what he would do if this situation arose.

Bai Qingzhou was undoubtedly a favored child of heaven—exceptional in both academics and ability. With his talent and strength, he was bound to stay in a big city to work after graduation.

Back then, Xia Xinghe had already made up his mind: whether it was Liaohu or another city Bai Qingzhou wanted to go to, he would follow him. He imagined they’d settle down there, work hard to earn money, go home often, and when his parents were older and retired, he’d bring them over too.

The conditions in a big city were better than those in a small town, more suitable for his parents’ retirement. Even if it meant hardship for him, at least he wouldn’t be separated from the one he loved.

That idea had been naïve, full of passion. But even now, it wasn’t a bad plan. He had played it out in his mind thousands of times. Yet hearing Qiu Guiyue’s gentle voice again stirred up the long-standing worries buried deep in his heart.

Would they even want to come live in Liaohu?

Sure, life in a big city was convenient, but the small hometown was where they had spent most of their lives. The old neighborhood had no elevator, no heating—but it was filled with irreplaceable memories.

“I…”

Xia Xinghe hesitated, unconsciously pacing onto the balcony.

The city night was bright, lights flickering, traffic bustling—a stark contrast from the quiet nights of a small town. Against this backdrop, another deeper conflict gnawed at Xia Xinghe’s mind.

Would his relationship with Bai Qingzhou really last until then?

He had failed once before, after all, and couldn’t help but feel insecure.

With too many worries piling up in his chest, Xia Xinghe stayed quiet. Finally, it was Qiu Guiyue who spoke first.

“What’s wrong? Did you run into some trouble?”

She chuckled softly. “You can talk to Mom, you know.”

That single sentence made Xia Xinghe’s nose sting.

“Mom…”

Sniffling, Xia Xinghe couldn’t bring himself to lie. “Would… would you and Dad want to come to Liaohu?”

“Eh?” Qiu Guiyue paused. “Go to Liaohu?”

“Mm…”

Xia Xinghe pressed his lips together, his tone a little embarrassed. “I—I’ve thought about it for a long time, and I still want to stay in here.”

Afraid she wouldn’t agree, he quickly explained, “Actually, I have a boyfriend—he’s a doctor, from Liaohu. I’ve already made up my mind, I’ll work really hard these next two years, and when you and Dad retire, I’ll bring you here. The buses and subways are convenient, the parks and hospitals are great too. You and Dad can go for walks, and you can also… you can also…”

Xia Xinghe’s words rushed out, stumbling several times, and in the end, he ran out of things to say. He repeated “you can also” several times, but nothing followed. Compared to his nervousness, Qiu Guiyue was much calmer. As he fumbled for words, she thought for a moment and then spoke.

“I see.” She chuckled. “That’s not bad either.”

She added, “Of course, a big city is better than our little town. Your dad and I would be fortunate.”

Xia Xinghe was stunned.

He had imagined countless reactions she might have—anger, disappointment, frustration, discontent. He knew in her heart she had hoped he would return home, so he never thought she would accept it so easily.

“Mom…” Xia Xinghe’s lips trembled. “You really agree?”

Qiu Guiyue asked him back, “If I said I didn’t agree, would you come back?”

Xia Xinghe’s breath caught. He didn’t know what to say. Qiu Guiyue sighed softly, then laughed.

“So, when did you start dating?” she asked. “Was it the one you called around New Year’s?”

At that time, Xia Anguo was still in the hospital. Both of them were busy running around, and whenever they finally had a break, Qiu Guiyue was so tired she didn’t even want to open her eyes. Yet she noticed that Xia Xinghe would still cling to his phone, replying to messages.

At first, she hadn’t thought much of it, assuming it was work. But one time, Xia Xinghe picked up a call in front of her, and she casually asked who it was. Xia Xinghe hesitated for a second, then said it was a friend studying medicine. The explanation seemed reasonable—their conversations were always related to Xia Anguo’s illness—but Qiu Guiyue sensed something different.

When Xia Xinghe talked to him, he wasn’t the same as when he talked to others. There was a bit of nervousness, a bit of shyness, like he was hiding something. And yet, his eyes couldn’t conceal the joy sparkling inside.

Everyone had been young once—Qiu Guiyue naturally recognized this as the kind of happiness that only appeared when one was speaking with someone they liked.

Dating someone was a good thing. Ever since coming out, Xia Xinghe had always been single. Qiu Guiyue had thought he would tell her eventually, at the right time. But she hadn’t expected that on New Year’s Eve, instead, he had said he wanted to move back home.

Qiu Guiyue’s heart first leapt with joy, but then worry crept in.

Had she misjudged the situation?

Or had something happened between the two of them?

Unfortunately, Xia Xinghe hadn’t spoken clearly at the time, so she suppressed her questions, only telling him to think it over carefully. Now that he had finally confessed, Qiu Guiyue felt a fleeting pang of reluctance, but the worry hanging over her heart eased quietly.

Of course, as a mother, she wished her son could stay by her side, but what she wanted even more was for Xia Xinghe to be happy. When he came out, she made an effort to understand this minority group, to learn about their difficulties, and she couldn’t bear to make things harder for him.

“I know it’s difficult for you,” Qiu Guiyue said with a gentle smile. “Your father and I won’t force you.”

She knew Xia Xinghe was a good child. If they made demands, he wouldn’t be able to refuse. But no matter what, Liaohu and Liu’an were thousands of kilometers apart—she couldn’t bear to see her son constantly shuttling back and forth.

“I know you’re grown up,” Qiu Guiyue said softly. “You have your own life. Mom understands.”

Her tender voice flowed into him, and Xia Xinghe’s eyes grew damp.

He had been ready to be scolded. He would rather Qiu Guiyue shout, blame, or not understand him. But she was this kind instead, softening his heart completely.

“Mom…” His voice was hoarse, carrying a trace of sobs. Qiu Guiyue’s own voice softened instantly. “What are you crying for? Your dad and I are doing fine. We can live well without you supporting us. Just take care of yourself and don’t make us worry.”

“Mm.” Xia Xinghe sniffled and promised her, “Mom, I promise. Just give me a few more years. I’ll work hard to make money, buy a bigger house, and bring you and Dad over sooner.”

“Alright, alright, we’ll be waiting,” Qiu Guiyue said, then after a pause added, “Since you’ve finally found someone, treat him well. When are you going to bring him over to meet us?”

Xia Xinghe froze. He suddenly remembered Bai Qingzhou’s cold expression, and the time they had broken up.

Would he be willing to meet his parents?

Xia Xinghe wasn’t too sure.

“Later.”

He mumbled.

He knew it wasn’t the best answer, but he really did need more time.

Perhaps sensing his hesitation, Qiu Guiyue didn’t press further. She simply smiled and changed the subject. They chatted a bit longer before Xia Xinghe hung up. Returning from the living room to the balcony, he realized someone else was now inside.

“Bai Qingzhou?”

Xia Xinghe was startled. “When did you get back?”

He had been so caught up in the call he hadn’t heard the door at all.

“Just now.” Bai Qingzhou paused, then asked, “Did you finish washing the vegetables?”

“They’re washed.”

Bai Qingzhou didn’t ask about the phone call, and Xia Xinghe didn’t think to mention it. He assumed Bai Qingzhou wouldn’t care about such trivial things, so he casually explained, “I was just on the phone with my mom,” before slipping into the kitchen.

…..

Nine o’clock at night.

The streetlamps outside cast bright light on the ground, the night glowing almost like day. In the small kitchen, the pot on the stove bubbled with tiny pops, white steam misting the air, the scene warm and homely.

Dinner was ready quickly. The two of them set the dishes on the table, the rich aroma spreading through the room, and Xia Xinghe felt a sense of accomplishment.

“Does it taste good?” he asked.

Bai Qingzhou lowered his gaze slightly. “It’s alright.”

“Alright,” yet he cleared every dish on the table.

Xia Xinghe was getting used to Bai Qingzhou’s awkward pride and tsundere ways. He leaned against the table, directing him to wash the dishes.

Bai Qingzhou silently tidied up in the kitchen. He had a touch of compulsiveness—everything had to be arranged neatly and precisely.

When he returned, Xia Xinghe was already curled up on the sofa playing with Bamboo. Naturally, Bai Qingzhou sat beside him, wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and kissed him.

The kiss was more forceful than usual, teeth grazing lips. Xia Xinghe mumbled, “What’s wrong?”

Bai Qingzhou lowered his eyes, said nothing, only deepened the kiss.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” he asked.

The answer was obvious.

Their kiss carried them from the living room into the bedroom. Bai Qingzhou was unusually urgent. The lamplight flickered, even the moon hid behind the clouds.

…

They didn’t stop until nearly dawn. Exhausted, Xia Xinghe lay limp on the bed, about to drift off when he heard a faint rustling.

Groggy, he opened his eyes and saw Bai Qingzhou buttoning up his shirt.

“Mm… what’s wrong?” he murmured.

“Nothing.” Bai Qingzhou leaned down, kissed his eyelid lightly, and said, “Go to sleep.”

The hem of his shirt brushed against Xia Xinghe’s skin as he stood and left the room. Xia Xinghe lay back down, limbs heavy and aching, but sleep no longer came so easily.

Was Bai Qingzhou hiding something from him?