If time could be turned back, Zhou Shichen would rather be ruthlessly disciplined in bed by Yan Qi than excitedly run upstairs, hoping to capture some precious footage of her fellow shippers’ CP sharing a bed, only to see Xu Shuyan straddling Lin Yi… doing something indescribable.
The balcony window was cracked open, and the wind whistled in.
She stared at the GoPro in her hand, trying to remember just how much she had recorded, how to destroy the master tape before handing it to the production team, and feeling a deep sense of regret-if she hadn’t brought the camera, couldn’t she have just enjoyed the view?
A wave of complex emotions washed over her. She took a deep breath and sighed, her heart feeling as cold as if it were in a Siberian blizzard. Then she took another look.
Huh?
Why was the camera still pointed at her?
Zhou Shichen asked the cameraman, “Why are you filming me?”
The cameraman said, “…You won’t let me in, so I have to film something, right?”
Zhou Shichen was speechless.
She could already imagine what the bullet comments would look like when this episode aired.
Things like “What is it that I, a VIP user, can’t see?” “You’re treating us like strangers now,” and “Why are you still treating me like an outsider?” were child’s play. The most terrifying would be, “No way, no way, did Yan Zhi You Yi get caught doing it?” “Ugh, don’t these young people have any self-control? Doing it so early in the morning, they couldn’t have been going at it since last night, right!?” “Someone’s reputation is ruined! Who is it! I won’t say!”
Just as she was thinking this, a few bursts of laughter came from the room, whose door was still ajar.
Zhou Shichen was confused. “?”
Wow, after traumatizing their teammate, these two could still laugh?
“Wait here for me,” Zhou Shichen said. “I’ll take the GoPro in and see. If there’s something to film, I’ll film it. If not, I’ll call you in.”
Inside the room, Lin Yi had laughed her fill. She hooked a finger under Xu Shuyan’s chin, gave her a peck, and said, “Get off me, quick. Shichen is about to storm back in.”
“Let her storm back in,” Xu Shuyan said, pinching her cheek. “You’re the one who wanted to create this effect for the show. She was so scared she probably thought we were about to come out. I doubt she filmed anything. Let her come back in and get some more footage.”
Lin Yi yawned.
That’s right. For this episode of the group variety show that she had planned, she wanted unpredictability and all sorts of punchlines. She wanted to be different from her other teammates, to be unique, to be high-energy from start to finish. And since Zhou Shichen was the most online and knew all the memes, she was the perfect person to provide the reactions. That was the reason for the scene just now.
…But she hadn’t expected Zhou Shichen’s imagination to run so wild that she actually fled in terror.
Just as they were laughing, the door was flung open. Having figured out it was all planned, a furious Zhou Shichen charged back in, aimed the camera at the culprits, and demanded, “What are you two doing?”
Xu Shuyan, without batting an eye, spun a tale. “It’s all her fault! She was grabbing me!”
“What do you mean it’s all my fault? Who was grabbing who, Xu Shuyan?” Lin Yi pushed Xu Shuyan off and feigned sleepiness. “She was the one having a nightmare and throwing herself on me. I pushed her away, and she thought I was trying to hurt her, so she started strangling me. This is an attack on a teammate! It’s an attack, isn’t it!”
Zhou Shichen scoffed. “Heh.”
So the little couple was putting on a show for her, were they?
She decided to play along. Waving the cameraman in, she said, “Why don’t you two reenact the scene so I can make a judgment? And if I can’t, we can let the audience decide.”
Lin Yi was speechless.
This girl was way too deep into her shipping!
When this episode aired, this segment was so packed with funny moments, shipping fodder, and information that it was used as a teaser in the trailer, keeping the fans in suspense. Not a single frame was cut from the final broadcast, and the response was enormous.
[I really thought Yan Zhi You Yi were getting it on first thing in the morning… That definitely can’t be aired!!!]
[Yan Zhi You Yi! You two are so bad! Why would you do this to a poor little shipper? She was just worried you were going to come out! And you laughed at her!]
[No matter what, getting to see Xu Shuyan straddling Lin Yi in this lifetime… I can die with no regrets!!!]
[I’m going to use this screenshot to trick people: The Gu Group has a Real Couple, they really do!]
[Wait, am I the only one who noticed that Yan Zhi You Yi changed their bed?]
[My blind friend, you’ve discovered the crucial point.]
[It used to be two beds pushed together, right? The little couple probably found it uncomfortable to sleep in, so they bought a double bed? They’re practically living a domestic life here… I can’t take it… ]
[Could it be that they broke the last bed… doing it???]
[Shippers, stop spreading rumors!]
[LMAO, Yan Qi seems completely used to the chaos upstairs. She gets up, washes her face, puts on light makeup, orders breakfast, and goes to the gym for a morning run, all without batting an eye. What has our Captain been through!!!]
Lin Yi was the last one to come downstairs.
The takeout Yan Qi had ordered had just arrived. There was both Western and Chinese food, and she had even ordered a bowl of wontons in chili oil for Lin Yi. Lin Yi ran over, shouting her thanks to the captain. After a couple of bites, her eyes curved into crescents. “Captain, don’t worry, I definitely won’t make things difficult for you two today!”
Yan Qi hummed in acknowledgment. “I figured you wouldn’t.”
Lin Yi tilted her head. “Why is that?”
Yan Qi said, “If there’s team grouping, I’ve decided to be on Yanyan’s team.”
Xu Shuyan, who was eating her mini wontons, was suddenly called out. She looked up and said, “Huh? On my team?”
Her face was a picture of reluctance.
Lin Yi also repeated, “On Yanyan’s team?”
Yan Qi nodded solemnly. “You can make things difficult for me, but you wouldn’t make things difficult for her, would you?”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
Lin Yi was speechless.
They both turned to look at Zhou Shichen, who was busy battling a pan-fried bun. Feeling their intense gazes, Zhou Shichen slowly looked up, blinked, and threw up her hands. “You can’t blame me for this.”
Who could resist shipping Yan Zhi You Yi?
Such an obvious scene of a teammate shipping her bandmates would inevitably make people think it was intentional fan service if it aired. So they weren’t afraid. It was fine if it aired, but even better if it was cut.
“There will be no rigging in our team selection this time!” Lin Yi declared righteously. “We will use a fair and just method to form the teams!”
Yan Qi said to Xu Shuyan, “Rock, paper, scissors. We’ll both throw ‘paper’.”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
Hey! Don’t just ignore what my wife says!
As if she had anticipated this, Lin Yi said, “See this box? There are four balls inside. Two red, two blue. Whoever draws the same color will automatically be on a team.”
Yan Qi was confused. “?”
She sighed. “You’re much more thorough than I imagined.”
Xu Shuyan wasn’t having it. “Can we rig it?”
Lin Yi clicked her tongue. “What is wrong with this group? The Notes is a family. What’s the difference who you’re teamed up with? Why are you always asking to rig things? What will the fans think of us if this gets out?”
Xu Shuyan said, “You’re right.”
Zhou Shichen asked, “So, can we rig it?”
Lin Yi said, “…No!”
She pushed the box to the center of the dining table. “Now draw your lots, fairly!”
Lin Yi knew their little schemes. Xu Shuyan wanted to be on her team so they could be lovey-dovey, Zhou Shichen wanted to be with Yan Qi for better coordination, and Yan Qi wanted to be with Xu Shuyan to avoid being sabotaged. But aside from the team Yan Qi wanted, they had seen all the other combinations too many times. Even just for the sake of novelty, the old pairings had to be broken up.
And so, under Lin Yi’s impartial supervision, the final teams were Lin Yi and Yan Qi, and Zhou Shichen and Xu Shuyan.
Yan Qi was quite satisfied with this outcome. “You probably wouldn’t sabotage yourself, right?”
Lin Yi shattered her fantasy. “When I get ruthless, I’ll even sabotage myself!”
Yan Qi said, “…Okay.”
Zhou Shichen, however, was delighted. “Even if she’s ruthless enough to sabotage herself, she wouldn’t have the heart to sabotage Yanyan, right? Yay! We’re guaranteed to win today!”
The only one who was unhappy was Xu Shuyan. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be on a team with Zhou Shichen-after all, The Notes had a strong group bond, and everyone got along well-but it was the last episode. Was it so wrong to want to be on a team with Lin Yi?
Lin Yi sensed her mood, but with the cameras rolling, she couldn’t comfort her. She clapped her hands. “Mission card.”
The production team handed her the mission card.
This mission was for two teams. One team would go to No. 23 Changming Street, the other to No. 28 Sibei Road. After completing the mission, they would receive a password. The password box contained the address of the next mission location.
“They’re really making this complicated, huh?” Zhou Shichen said, looking at the winding instructions on the card. “Changming Street… isn’t that near the company?”
Lin Yi hummed in agreement.
“Then we’ll choose this one.” Zhou Shichen hugged the mission card to her chest. “There won’t be any dangerous activities near the company. That Sibei Road, I don’t even know what corner of the city that’s in. Let’s just pick this one!”
“No cheating,” Yan Qi objected. “Since we’re being fair, let’s be fair to the end.”
Lin Yi agreed. “Fine, let’s be fair.”
She plucked the mission card from Zhou Shichen’s arms and tossed it to Xu Shuyan. “You guys go to Changming Street.”
Yan Qi was confused. “?”
Fairness by passing it from the left hand to the right?
After her moment of doubt, she rubbed her forehead. Forget it. People in love were like this; their hearts could be biased to the ends of the earth. What kind of fairness could she expect from Lin Yi?
Her sleeve was tugged.
She turned her head to see Zhou Shichen looking at her with a sympathetic expression. “Love is just that unreasonable.”
Yan Qi was speechless.
Don’t ship yourself to death.
“Captain, do you want to switch with me?” Xu Shuyan suddenly asked. Ignoring Lin Yi’s surprised look, she held out the mission card. “I prefer a challenge, something exciting. The area around the company is kind of boring.”
Lin Yi exclaimed, “You! Why aren’t you playing by the script!”
But she didn’t stop her.
A variety show that was too by-the-book was boring. Occasionally breaking the rules was what made it interesting. And so, Xu Shuyan and Yan Qi happily exchanged mission cards. Lin Yi pointed a finger at her. “Cheating. I’ll remember this.”
Xu Shuyan gave her a look that said, “What are you gonna do about it?” and continued her blatant cheating, trying to get a hint from her. “So what exactly is at Sibei Road?”
Lin Yi was evasive. “You’ll know when you get there.”
Xu Shuyan didn’t press further.
Yan Qi and Zhou Shichen finished eating first and went to the balcony to do their makeup. Lin Yi and Xu Shuyan went upstairs to change clothes. The cameraman didn’t follow. As soon as they entered the room, Xu Shuyan turned and hugged Lin Yi, trapping her in the small space between the door and her embrace. She mumbled as Lin Yi’s hands roamed over her body. Lin Yi indulged her, but stopped her just before things went too far. “…That’s enough!”
Xu Shuyan hummed softly and bit Lin Yi’s exposed shoulder. “This is punishment for not wanting to be on my team.”
“I was just trying to create some good content for the show, to give everyone a fresh new grouping,” Lin Yi said helplessly, her hands soothingly rubbing Xu Shuyan’s back. “It’s not that I didn’t want to be on your team.”
She added, “But we’re on the same team now.”
Xu Shuyan was still humming. “That’s because I’m smart. Now we have good content for the show, and we get to be on the same team.” She grew smug as she spoke. “You’re so silly, Lin Yi.”
Lin Yi’s expression immediately changed. She pushed her away. “You’ve lost your wife.”
“My mistake, my mistake.” Xu Shuyan laughed and pulled her back. “Not silly, not silly at all. Our Xiao Yi is the smartest.”
Lin Yi lowered her eyes and asked, “Really?”
Xu Shuyan nodded enthusiastically. “Mhm!”
Lin Yi looked up and cupped Xu Shuyan’s face. “You love me the most, don’t you?”
Lin Yi’s directness caught Xu Shuyan off guard for a moment. She looked at Lin Yi’s pitiful expression, her cute and beautiful face, and couldn’t resist planting a kiss on her cheek. “I love you the most!”
Lin Yi smiled at her. “Then no matter what I do, you’ll forgive me, right?”
Though her judgment was clouded by lust, Xu Shuyan didn’t fall into the trap. “Except if you abandon me.”
“Never, never.” Lin Yi waved her hands frantically. “It’s something else. It’s just… this mission might be a little difficult…”
Xu Shuyan wasn’t too concerned. “When is making money ever easy?”
Lin Yi was very pleased. “You have a great attitude, young lady. Come here and give me a kiss.”
Xu Shuyan leaned her face in.
The kiss, however, landed on her lips, like a brand. Lin Yi whispered, “Mine.”
But half an hour later, when they arrived at No. 28 Sibei Road, Xu Shuyan wanted to take back what she had said.
“A maid cafe?!” Her eyes widened. As she felt the car slowing down, she leaned forward and told the driver, “Sir, just drive past. We’re not stopping here.”
“If we don’t stop here, where do we stop?” Lin Yi had already anticipated Xu Shuyan’s reaction. “This is our final destination. Driver, please pull over.”
Xu Shuyan was confused. “?”
The driver was from the production team. He dutifully and responsibly parked the car in front of the maid cafe and said coolly, “You two can get out now.”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
Lin Yi reached past her, opened the door, and pushed her. “Let’s go, Xu Shuyan.”
Xu Shuyan slammed the door shut with a bang, her face a mask of defiance. “Don’t tell me we have to go into a maid cafe and wear some kind of maid outfit! I won’t! I refuse! I’d rather die than wear that!”
The follow PD in the passenger seat held up her camera, recording the scene that was destined to end in a reversal.
“Don’t be so absolute!” Lin Yi suppressed a laugh and tugged on Xu Shuyan’s sleeve. “Didn’t you say you liked excitement? That you liked the unknown? You even switched mission cards with the captain. You’re the one who wanted to come here; I didn’t force you.”
Xu Shuyan glared at her.
Lin Yi met her gaze fearlessly, seeing the struggle and reluctance in Xu Shuyan’s eyes. Her voice softened unconsciously. “It’s not like you’ve never worn one before. It’s just wearing it one more time. What are you afraid of?”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
The last time she had worn one was right after the group was formed, also for a group variety show. To get closer to the fans, they had produced a daily mini-series about five girls running a maid cafe together.
…Even back then, Xu Shuyan had been very unwilling.
In the end, she had chosen a dark lolita-style maid outfit. A small hat sat on her head, with black gauze veiling the lower half of her exquisite face. Her plum-colored lipstick gave her a noble and aloof look, making her seem less like a maid and more like…
“The head maid,” was Lin Yi’s scathing review at the time, which earned her a chase from Xu Shuyan.
But that mini-series, which ran for nearly two months, had distinct characters, an exciting plot, and moments of laughter, tears, and memorability. Many clips had gone viral, and to this day, photos of the five of them in their maid outfits still circulated online, occasionally dug up by fans for a new edit or video in a wave of nostalgia.
End of flashback.
Xu Shuyan smiled at Lin Yi.
Lin Yi smiled back. “When is making money ever easy?”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
A boomerang. That was a boomerang, wasn’t it!
@HalfAPoemYZYY1105x0813: |1223 Group Variety Show Recording| A throwback to “Hello, Your Dessert Is Here.” The two little maids are so cute [starry eyes]
[OMG??? In my lifetime! I can’t believe I’m seeing Xu Shuyan in a maid outfit again?]
[Hahahahahahaha didn’t Xu Shuyan say she would rather die than wear one again?]
[You guys don’t get it. This last episode was planned by her wife. This person is famous for having no principles when it comes to her wife. She’ll do anything with her wife. Condemn the love-struck fool!]
[My little lolita T_T I really feel like I’m back in the old days!]
[Friends! Sighting from the front lines! Zhou Shichen and Yan Qi went to an escape room! And the script is based on an escape room the Gu Group did on a variety show once!]
[?? No way, are they doing a nostalgia trip for the last episode? Don’t make me cry T_T]
[I just finished watching them watch the sunrise and say they’d be together forever, and then I see that one of them is already gone in reality, and I just want to cry. Can the remaining members of our Gu Group please not get separated again?]
[T_T Can’t they just date within the group!]
[CP fans, don’t use this as an excuse to ship! …But if she can date the teammate I ship her with, I can accept it.]
[You might accept it, but your daughter won’t! Support freedom in love!]
At the maid cafe.
Xu Shuyan smiled as she saw the last customer off. As the customer left, her smile gradually faded.
Then she flipped the “Open” sign on the door to “Temporarily Closed,” pulled off the ribbons tying her pigtails, poured a glass of water, and chugged it down. The entire sequence was seamless. Finally, she glared at the production team, looking fierce and unapproachable. “The password!”
The director flinched. “It’s-it’s with Teacher Lin.”
At the mention of Lin Yi, Xu Shuyan’s aura softened slightly. She looked around and asked, “Where’s Xiao Yi?”
Just as she finished speaking, the curtain leading to the back kitchen was pushed aside. The sound of small black leather shoes clicked on the floor. The hem of the maid dress, like the edge of a lotus leaf, rippled as she walked. Lin Yi approached, carrying a cup of coffee. “Miss, would you like a cup of coffee?”
The latte art was clearly Lin Yi’s own work.
It was truly terrible.
A crooked, non-standard heart was drawn, though the smiley face next to it was more prominent. It was Lin Yi’s little way of trying to coax her. Seeing that she wasn’t speaking, Lin Yi even gave her a wink. “Please have a seat over here.”
Xu Shuyan licked her lips and followed her direction to a seat by the window. Lin Yi placed the coffee on the table. “Try it!”
Xu Shuyan took a sip.
Lin Yi asked, “How is it?”
Xu Shuyan, barely tasting it, nodded. “…It’s good.”
Lin Yi immediately became smug and sat across from Xu Shuyan, chattering away. “Then we can start using that coffee machine that’s just sitting in our dorm. When we get back, I’ll make some for the captain and Shichen. With a little more practice, I could open my own shop!”
After chattering for a while without getting a response from Xu Shuyan, she said, displeased, “Why are you playing on your phone?”
Xu Shuyan took another sip of coffee and said to the follow PD, “Sister, you can go take a break for a bit. Come back and film when we’re about to leave.”
“What’s wrong?” Lin Yi rested her chin on her hand. “So mysterious, even sending the follow PD away?”
Then she became alert. “You’re not planning to get revenge on me for making you wear a maid outfit, are you? Let me tell you, Xu Shuyan, if you use violence against me now, it’s not just bullying within the group. It’s domestic violence. It’s-”
“Teacher Lin! Teacher Xu!” A staff member from the production team suddenly called out to them. “A video call invitation from Teacher Yan and Teacher Zhou. Should we accept?”
Lin Yi’s attention was instantly diverted. “They cleared their mission?”
The staff member nodded. “They cleared it and have already gotten the last two digits of the password.”
“Okay.” Lin Yi took the phone, saw that the call had already timed out, and didn’t rush to call back. “Our password is… here!”
She pulled a slip of paper from a pen holder and beckoned to Xu Shuyan. “We can talk later. Let’s go to the next mission location first.”
Xu Shuyan looked at her thoughtfully. “Can you not change your clothes?”
Lin Yi said, “…Can you?”
Xu Shuyan shook her head firmly.
Lin Yi said, “Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you!”
Xu Shuyan’s lips pulled down in disappointment as she silently put her phone away.
The password was 0621.
Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi had completed their task to get the first two digits, while Zhou Shichen and Yan Qi had cleared the escape room to get the last two. The four of them communicated via video call on their way to the next location.
“Isn’t 0621 our debut date?” Zhou Shichen said from the other end of the video, fixing her hair. “Oh my god, who wrote the script for that escape room! Was it you, Lin Yi! Why did you have to put a crazy NPC in there! My hair is a mess!”
Lin Yi guiltily ignored her question. “Yes! That’s right! Our debut date!”
Zhou Shichen asked Yan Qi, “Did my voice not come through just now?”
“…” Yan Qi took the phone and said, “The next location is the tallest building in the city. We’re closer to it, about five minutes away. What about you guys?”
Lin Yi said, “We’re a bit farther, about twenty minutes.”
Yan Qi asked, “Do all four of us have to enter together to start the next mission?”
The individual missions were over; from now on, it was a team effort. No one could be missing. After getting an affirmative answer, Yan Qi nodded slowly and said to Zhou Shichen, “Then we’re not in a hurry. What do you want to eat? We can go get a bite.”
Zhou Shichen protested, “You just said you weren’t hungry!”
Yan Qi said, “…Now that we have time, I’m hungry.”
Zhou Shichen was speechless.
So, when Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi arrived, they saw the famous girl group’s captain and all-around ACE surrounded by a crowd of fans, eating… fried stinky tofu.
“Baby, next time you come to Changsha, I’ll treat you!”
“Baby, eat slowly! If you get it on your clothes, Mommy will spank you!”
“Captain, eat up! If you’re shy, we’ll stop watching!”
“…” Yan Qi began to regret agreeing to eat fried stinky tofu in broad daylight with Zhou Shichen. She placed her fork in the paper bowl and watched as Lin Yi and Xu Shuyan made their way through the crowd, still maintaining her composure. “You’re here. Let’s go in.”
But to her surprise, both of their eyes lit up. “Ahhh, fried stinky tofu!”
Yan Qi was speechless.
She silently stepped aside.
[Hahahahahahahaha the captain is so out of place.]
[Yan Qi: This isn’t my group. I don’t know them. If I said I was just a passerby, would you believe me?]
[I’m reporting this! Lin Yi got some on her clothes!]
Even after they got on the elevator, Lin Yi was still battling the stain on her collar, wiping it and lamenting, “How could I be so careless? This will look so bad on camera. Should I go change into another outfit?”
“Let’s wait until we finish this part of the mission,” Yan Qi said, watching the numbers on the display climb. “There’s a mall nearby. We can buy a new one.”
That was the only option.
This part of the mission was at the very top of the building. They had to use a telescope to find the address of the final mission location, which was posted on a nearby building. Each person only had one chance. If they failed, they would have to face the challenge of standing outside on the observation deck without railings for a full minute to admire the high-altitude scenery.
“…Lin Yi!” Besides Xu Shuyan, both Yan Qi and Zhou Shichen turned to look at Lin Yi simultaneously.
Lin Yi took two steps back and gave a dry laugh. “For the show, for the show, haha… And I believe we can definitely find the address on the first try! Yep!”
Yan Qi asked, “If we don’t find it, can you give us a hint?”
Lin Yi threw up her hands. “I don’t know where the final location is either.”
Yan Qi nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll take a look at how to operate the telescope first.”
Zhou Shichen also went over. “I’ll take a look too!”
Lin Yi, meanwhile, was pensively trying to figure out where the production team would have placed the location. In her peripheral vision, she saw Xu Shuyan standing by the floor-to-ceiling window, looking at the view. Her thoughts gradually returned, and she felt it was necessary to go and chat up her seemingly melancholic girlfriend.
So she sidled over and gently bumped Xu Shuyan’s shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”
Xu Shuyan shook her head. “Nothing.”
Lin Yi wheedled in a small voice, “What did you want to tell me back at the cafe? I’m telling you, it’s not that I didn’t want to listen, I was just in a hurry to get here. The captain and Shichen were waiting for us, right? Whatever you wanted to say, you can tell me now. I’m listening-”
Her voice died in her throat when Xu Shuyan showed her her phone screen.
On the screen was a sexy version of a maid outfit, with a scandalously small amount of fabric. It was tantalizingly revealing, even more seductive than Lin Yi’s ultimate weapon.
Lin Yi blinked.
Xu Shuyan’s voice was soft. “I was thinking, you would definitely look beautiful in this.”
She said, “Will you wear it for me?”
Lin Yi’s face instantly flushed red.
